Mia Marlowe | Reading the "Wrong Sort of Book"

September 27, 2011

Comments

64 comments posted.

Re: Mia Marlowe | Reading the "Wrong Sort of Book"

Hmmm... well, I really enjoyed Eloisa James' A Duke of Her Own. I like it because the heroine decided that she deserved better and the hero really had to work to convince her to go back to him.... It made me realize that sometimes you have to stand up for yourself even when you are in love....
(May Pau 10:28pm September 27, 2011)

"If a prospective mistress presents troubling aspects, end the association at once. If a gentleman wishes a life filled with complications, he should seek a wife." This is definately irritating. If a woman has any personality end the relationship. Also such negativity about marriage!
(Kathleen Bianchi 10:31pm September 27, 2011)

While I was reading these recommendations, my first thought was "when were these written." I didn't guess that it could have been you. Can we then truly call them chauvinistic? Well, maybe in a backhand sort of way (laugh)? You always seem to find something fresh and interesting for your books.

I take issue with: "A perfect mistress has no interests beyond her protector. If she does, a gentleman would do well to consider carefully whether she is worth protecting." Not a single other interest like, perhaps, reading? Definitely no way.
(Sigrun Schulz 11:43pm September 27, 2011)

I love the little snippets of the repugnant book. The one that bugged me most was "“A perfect mistress has no interests beyond her protector. If she does, a gentleman would do well to consider carefully whether she is worth protecting.”"

That pretty much took the cake: use her and toss her aside, but god forbid she should take measures to land on her feet!
(Melora Brock 11:47pm September 27, 2011)

The Chapter six sentence simultaneously is most amusingly engaging and perhaps seriously annoying, because studies have determined that the man with the highest chance of extended longevity is married! Moreover, current propaganda pronounces that marriage approaches disassociated boredom more often than not and must be resuscitated regularly; this runs contrary to the notion of marriage as complicated. Nonetheless, there is some truth in the recommendation of jettisoning a draining, entangled relationship in which no commitment or true affection has been invested. In comparison, working on a successful marriage can be complicated for someone who has led a less committed existence. Thus this chapter sentence is annoying, because it actually might be approaching truth.
(Carla Schuller 11:57pm September 27, 2011)

It was The Wolf and The Dove by Kathleen Woodiwiss.

That was the first "romance" novel I read and it hooked me for
life.
(Gayle Oreluk 2:59am September 28, 2011)

#5 no interests beyond her protector.... sheesh... that sounds pretty boring to me.. You might as well have a china doll sitting by you... Did you really find this book? I've been reading romance for soo long, I can't remember what got me hooked beyond the HEA factor..
(Cate Sparks 4:18am September 28, 2011)

"A woman, like a blooded hound or fine steed, has a finite period of usefulness. When that time has run its course, a prudent man divests himself of the asset without regret." Is the one that I found so irritating it made me laugh. Not only does this Gentleman's Guide Sebastian is reading compare a woman to a dog and a horse it encourages the man to use her and toss her aside when he gets bored!

I love when the books I read have chapter openers like this! I just bought A Duke for All Seasons for my kindle. Can't wait to read it!
(Christina Torgerson 5:32am September 28, 2011)

May, I too love stories when the heroine realizes her own worth!
(Mia Marlowe 6:18am September 28, 2011)

Kathleen, I'm afraid irritating was the point. When I dreamed up those offensive quotes, I wanted to prick readers a bit and give them a peek into just how poorly women have been thought of in other times. Legally speaking, a woman was considered on par with a child or an imbecile during the time when my story is set. There were a few visionary feminists, like Mary Wollstonecraft, but they were considered aberations.
(Mia Marlowe 6:21am September 28, 2011)

Sigrun, Isn't it great that we can have wide ranging interests and a rich tapestry of friends now without endangering our romantic lives? It was not always so.
(Mia Marlowe 6:23am September 28, 2011)

Melora--Repugnant is the perfect word for A GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE TO KEEPING A MISTRESS.
(Mia Marlowe 6:24am September 28, 2011)

I suspect that your Duke and I would have a very big problem in a relationship! What fun!
Blessings,
Marjorie
(Marjorie Carmony 6:25am September 28, 2011)

Carla--Men do statistically do better when they're married, but during the Regency there were all sorts of negative euphemisms for being married: the parson's mousetrap, leg-shackled for life, etc. I'm not sure why they were so against marriage when taking the vows didn't impede their personal life much. Keeping a mistress was common among the upper crust.
(Mia Marlowe 6:28am September 28, 2011)

Gayle--My mom put the first Kathleen Woodiwiss novel in my hands. I'm tickled to say Mom reads and enjoys all my work now.
(Mia Marlowe 6:29am September 28, 2011)

Cate--Sorry. I'm afraid I made up the Gentleman's Guide because I wanted a way to share what was influencing Sebastian's really poor decisions. However, if I had found such a book in real life, I'd be as appalled by it as you are.
(Mia Marlowe 6:31am September 28, 2011)

Christina--Thanks very much for buying my e-novella! Hope you learn to love my DUKE even though he's clearly off to a rocky start. Either way, hope you'll post an Amazon review. Hugs!
(Mia Marlowe 6:33am September 28, 2011)

Marjorie--Sebastian is very surprised when he has trouble in his relationship with the heroine. She actually has a life without him and it bleeds into his in a big way.
(Mia Marlowe 6:34am September 28, 2011)

I am most irritated by the quote "The first physical encounter with a prospective mistress sets the tone for all future interludes. A wise man makes his expectations clear." Saddens me to think of women being looked at as just an object for a man.
(Diane Brixius 6:43am September 28, 2011)

You may have made up the book but I bet the thinking was in reality along these lines.
(Karen Gervasi 6:54am September 28, 2011)

Chapter one - I would hate to be compared to a dog or horse! But more than irritated I found the quotes funny and they made me smile.
I can't think of a book that has changed my view on love but i DO THINK THAT MOST BOOKS HAVE AN EFFECT ON THE READER.
(Barbara Hanson 8:48am September 28, 2011)

Diane--Fortunately, my hero learns better by the end of the story.
(Mia Marlowe 9:05am September 28, 2011)

Karen--From all the research I've done, sadly, you are correct. Women were not generally valued as individuals. They were often viewed as George Sands (a female author who used a male pen name) said, "sexual receptacles." I love historical romance, but I'm sooooo glad to live now.
(Mia Marlowe 9:09am September 28, 2011)

I found the Chapter One comment to be the most irritating:

"A woman, like a blooded hound or fine steed, has a finite period of usefulness. When that time has run its course, a prudent man divests himself of the asset without regret."

Any man that can "divest himself" of a woman without regret is a selfish --- in my opinion.
Most of the rest made me chuckle a bit- especially this one: "If a prospective mistress presents troubling aspects, end the association at once. If a gentleman wishes a life filled with complications, he should seek a wife."

I cannot really recall any books that have caused me to stop and change the way I viewed love... most books are just a fun escape- some nice quiet time for me! :)

Thanks for the chance to win!
(Debbie Burdeen 9:09am September 28, 2011)

Barbara--Good! You can see the inherent absurdity of the whole arrangement. In many ways, the idea that a woman could be "kept" devalued men as well. Imagine having to pay for intimate attention.
(Mia Marlowe 9:10am September 28, 2011)

Debbie--I'll confess I purposely made the first quote as offensive as possible. I wanted to illustrate the extreme view. Of course, what you don't see in this blog post is that Sebastian has good reason to mistrust women. His elaborate contract and scheme of keeping a mistress for only the turn of a season is a way to protect himself.
(Mia Marlowe 9:13am September 28, 2011)

being compared to a dog or horse (and by one w/ little apparent affection for such creatures) is rather annoying; & having only a finate period of usefullness -- huh. If such a book were truly written & ment to be a real guide, the author would have deserved to be severly punished by being trapped in house full of "harpies" with no possible excape or relief (or alcohol) :)
(d Kenney 9:22am September 28, 2011)

d Kenny--LOL! A fitting punishment for this literary crime, indeed.
(Mia Marlowe 9:46am September 28, 2011)

I have your A DUKE FOR ALL SEASONS. I find all of the quotes irritating because it belittles all women. But I know that you were not trying to do that. You were showing that this was the way some "gentlemen" especially the upper crust behaved/treated women. In some periods in history when a husband died, the son became the head of the household and his mother became his property to treat as he pleased. I am grateful that we don't live during those times.
(Beverly Beltz 9:47am September 28, 2011)

Beverly--Me too. I'm very grateful to live now, but women in the past were not so lucky. In fact, the way property was entailed, if the heir wasn't the son, he could conveniently forget about his predecessor's family's needs completely. That happened in my TOUCH OF A THIEF. When my heroine's father died without a male heir, the title went to his nephew, who did nothing to support his widowed aunt and female cousins. So of course, my heroine had to take matters into her own hands and turn into the Mayfair Jewel Thief to feed her family.
(Mia Marlowe 9:53am September 28, 2011)

I love getting the guy to realize how stupid he is! Thanks.
(Beth Elder 10:46am September 28, 2011)

Beth--That's a favorite pastime of mine, actually. ;-)
(Mia Marlowe 11:52am September 28, 2011)

Mia, I guess if I would have to choose one of the quotes, I would have to pick the first one, comparing a woman to a blooded hound or fine steed, and having a finite period of usefulness. Although it doesn't really upset me, so to speak, it would be the most outrageous, because we know how useful we are, as well as the duration. The book that changed my life was reading Helen Keller's autobiography. It had nothing to do with love, but how to look at any obstacle that might come my way later in life. Little did I know that I would be facing serious health problems, and know how to deal with them head on, with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. Good luck with your book. I'm looking forward to reading it.
(Peggy Roberson 12:49pm September 28, 2011)

I like the wise man makes his expectations clear, because usually it's said sideways like he has much choice.
(Alyson Widen 12:54pm September 28, 2011)

Wow... those are some interesting quotes for a gentleman... Chapter 1 & 5 really made me stop and reread them... I had to be sure I read them right...
(Colleen Conklin 1:40pm September 28, 2011)

I have to say one and three really get under my
skin. Have been an ornament in an abusive
relationship it is horrible feeling, and the
usefulness, well, that goes both ways but
compare women to animals..uggh. I do
somewhat agree with four, if the first encounter
is horrible, its not going to be amazing the
second time, and I believe in communicating
needs and wants, what is ok and no go straight
away, no misunderstands later. Plus the
seduction of the first encounter should continue,
and should be great and pleasurable.
I think I always go back to how GWTW affected
me, I fear overlooking a great love for that of an
illusion.
(Carla Carlson 1:44pm September 28, 2011)

Well I'd have to say the -A woman, like a blooded hound or fine steed, has a finite period of usefulness. Ummm there were times I have felt this way about men too! Anyways. When ever I finish reading a romance it reminds me why I am in a relationship in the first place. When ever I am thinking that our relationship is bumpy or I have those fleeting moments of thinking I want out I remember that those moments pass and love is what endures and that it is so hard to find someone who can love me and that I love that I should be grateful and not take it for granted. It helps me keep the pesky real world in perspective.
(Patti Paonessa 1:57pm September 28, 2011)

"A woman, like a blooded hound or fine steed, has a finite period of usefulness. When that time has run its course, a prudent man divests himself of the asset without regret."

AAARRRGGGH!!! I love my historical romance but sometimes... it's hard to read the submission/objectifying of women and not cringe.

Thanks for the post and giveaway!
(Erin Fender 2:39pm September 28, 2011)

How can I pick just one--they are all just terrible (which of course is the purpose). Anyway, #4 is probably one of the worst--if the first encounter involves physical brutality, this author is basically saying that it is alright as long as it is made clear from the beginning.
(Carol Gowett 3:10pm September 28, 2011)

To my mind being compared to a horse or dog is much better than being
compared to the numbskulls who really read and believed all that stuff.
Marriage was for heirs and often arranged during that period and made for poor
relationships. Some wives only hoped their spouses found a mistress. How can
you make love if there is no love there--that's what mistresses were for, for sex.
(Sandra Spilecki 3:12pm September 28, 2011)

Peggy--I remember reading Helen Keller's biography when I was in 6th grade. It was profound experience for me and impacted me as strongly as reading Anne Frank's diary. Both are triumphs of spirit.
(Mia Marlowe 3:31pm September 28, 2011)

Alyson--That's sort of the point of A DUKE FOR ALL SEASONS. Sebastian learns he can't make those sort of choices and be truly happy.
(Mia Marlowe 3:34pm September 28, 2011)

Colleen--You got me. I purposely made them a bit shocking because I wanted to illustrate how poorly women were valued then.
(Mia Marlowe 3:36pm September 28, 2011)

Carla--In Sebastian's case, he mistrusts women because his mother ran away with her lover when he was five and left him with stoic distant father. If she ever regretted leaving her son, he never knew it. He was a powerless child then. He tries to control every aspect of his relationships with women now. Don't worry. He finds that doesn't work either.
(Mia Marlowe 3:39pm September 28, 2011)

Patti--I think that's what we all long for--someone who looks at us and says, "I know you, and I won't turn away." Love that rides out the rocky places is priceless.
(Mia Marlowe 3:41pm September 28, 2011)

Erin--Let me assure you Arabella St. George will let no man objectify her. She's more than Sebastian's match!
(Mia Marlowe 3:42pm September 28, 2011)

Carol--Yikes! I never intended there to be any hint of physical brutality in #4. Never in a million years.
(Mia Marlowe 3:44pm September 28, 2011)

Sandra--Sadly, you're right. Most women expected their husbands to have mistresses. The most they could hope for was discretion.
(Mia Marlowe 3:46pm September 28, 2011)

Great interview, I'd love to read the book.
(Wilma Frana 4:50pm September 28, 2011)

Chapter Four: "The first physical encounter with a prospective mistress sets the tone for all future interludes. A wise man makes his expectations clear."

And of course, the woman has absolutely no say in the matter? GET REAL, GUYS!! If you can't please us physical, what' makes you think we'd be willing to consider pleasing you?!?!?

That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled reading.

Later,

Lynn
(Lynn Rettig 4:52pm September 28, 2011)

Great interview. Sounds like a great book, I'd love to read it.
(Wilma Frana 4:53pm September 28, 2011)

OK, let's see if my fingers can learn how to spell properly!

In the second paragraph of the comment directly above this one, it should read as follows: "If you can't please US physically, what makes you think we'd be willing to consider pleasing you?!?!?"

Sigh. There are days when it just doesn't pay to try to type. I'm thinking today is one of them!

Later,

Lynn
(Lynn Rettig 5:03pm September 28, 2011)

A book that has changed my thoughts and made me want me is the Eve Dallas books by JD Robb. Eve and Rourkes relationship is so give and take. They are observant, fight and push when needed and then love and hold when wanted. It makes me look to the future and hope that I day I can have that kind of relationship. Not to mention all the hot sex they have, would be a HUGE plus! ;-)
(Christine Arcidiacono 5:35pm September 28, 2011)

I laughed so much at this - love it: "If a prospective mistress presents troubling aspects, end the association at once. If a gentleman wishes a life filled with complications, he should seek a wife."

I can't think of a book that changed how I thought about love.
(Mary Preston 8:46pm September 28, 2011)

Tough questions! I remember The Promise by Danielle Steele was the first book I ever read straight through in one sitting, finishing it in the middle of the night (or early morning). But, I think the 1st book that had a profound impact on my was the Scarlett Letter, then A Handmaide's Tale. I didn't understand how the women could be so misused and the men just get away what they did.
(MaryAnne Banks 10:31pm September 28, 2011)

I am not sure I can think of one single book that changed my view of love. but collectively they have changed my view on a lot of things.

Chapter One

"A woman, like a blooded hound or fine steed, has a finite period of usefulness. When that time has run its course, a prudent man divests himself of the asset without regret."
(Heidi Durham 5:00am September 29, 2011)

Thanks for dropping by, Wilma!
(Mia Marlowe 9:38am September 29, 2011)

Lynn-- I have days like that. It's as if my fingers have their own agenda, LOL.
(Mia Marlowe 9:39am September 29, 2011)

Christine--One of the things I like about JD Robb's series is that she keeps the relationship between Eve and Rourkes fresh. So often I have the feeling that some of the most interesting things are ahead for the characters in a romance, but I'll never know how they grow and change in order to stay together.
(Mia Marlowe 9:41am September 29, 2011)

Thanks for dropping by, Mary.
(Mia Marlowe 9:42am September 29, 2011)

MaryAnne--Thanks for suggesting those two books. I'll look for them.
(Mia Marlowe 9:43am September 29, 2011)

Heidi--I think you may be right. The change what we read makes in us is probably a cummulative effect.
(Mia Marlowe 9:44am September 29, 2011)

I love this comment from the book, it cracks me up. I love historical romances, because some of the stuff is so funny. I would not have been a very submissive woman. I have a smart mouth and probly would have disagreed a lot. Here is the comment:"A perfect mistress has no interests beyond her protector. If she does, a gentleman would do well to consider carefully whether she is worth protecting."

I don't think there has been any specific book other than when I was a young girl, I thought that life and love was supposed to be like a romance novel. I soon learned that was not true. Some men might be like romance novels, but not all. They are many bad apples out there.
Thanks for the giveaway and the chance to win. Would love to win and read this book.
(Chris Bails 10:53am September 29, 2011)

I can not pick one that did not offend me!! But at the time in history women were considered property, like the dog or a horse. They were to depend on their male relative or husband for their exsistance, whitch was to bear a heir, male preferably, or it was her fault if anything happered to the baby...So for a strong woman it was self preservation against the male pervision.
(Betty Jones 9:45pm September 29, 2011)

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