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Elisa Lorello | No We Don't Have ESP....What It's Like To Be A Twin
February 15, 2010
I was born just three minutes after my twin brother in January 1970. (Yes, I
just turned 40. That’s another post altogether.) I came as a surprise to just
about everyone except my mother, a buy-one-get-one-free deal, if you will. My
four older brothers were thrilled to have another boy. My only sister
was even more thrilled to finally have a girl. You’d be surprised how many people ask us if we’re identical, to which I reply,
“If we are, then one of us has a big problem…” He loves to introduce me to his
co-workers by slouching next to me to meet my height and saying, “See the
resemblance?” with a mock straight face and sincere tone. My twin brother and I are different in every way. He’s tall; I’m short. He’s got
straight hair; I’ve got curly hair (naturally curly, that is). He’s
right-handed; I’m left-handed. He’s got brown eyes; mine are blue. He can listen
learn to play a piece of music just by listening to it, while I can draw by
copying from photographs. He’s very shy; I’m rather outgoing. We’re both
writers, but he writes literary science fiction with a prosaic style that is
quite elegant. I write commercial fiction and romantic comedies. And yet, he’s
one of only a small handful of people I am truly trying to impress with my
writing. When he likes something I’ve written, it’s a good day and high praise.
When he laughs at my jokes, especially in writing, then I am over the moon. I’m a better writer thanks to my wombmate. He taught me how to be funny. He
taught me to always start a story as close to the middle as possible (Vonnegut’s advice, really,
but passed on to me), and always to put my characters
someplace they don’t want to be. When I showed him pages from Ordinary World in its very
early stages, it was he who said in feedback, “A major loss conjures up all
other losses.” I then put those words into the mouth of my character Melody
Greene, therapist, and that idea brought the story to new levels of
depth and complexity. He catches all my split infinitives, too. Annoying, but helpful. I have an indefinitely unfinished manuscript in which the protagonist has a twin
brother. I hope I can
somehow get those two characters into a published book someday because I really
love them. Not
because they’re us, but because I relate to them so well. Perhaps the most common question I get is whether we share ESP, or a “twin
connection”. Alas, we
don’t. We don’t communicate telepathically (although we do text each other quite
a bit), I don’t know
if he’s in pain or having a bad day, and he can’t understand what I see in
Gilmore Girls. The closest we
came was that for a period of time we were both having the same recurring dream
about our
childhood house shortly after it was sold. (Yeah, it sounds cool, but if we were
having it at the same
time, then I’d really be impressed)  We are connected though. We’re connected in that I
can’t possibly relate to any of my other siblings the way I relate to him (and
I’m close to all of them in different ways, especially my sister). We’re
connected in that I’ll never conceptualize what life as a non-twin is like. It’s
like trying to picture yourself born in another country, speaking another
language, or as a different
gender.
More importantly, I don’t want to know. Ever. Elisa Lorello Leave a comment below and be one of THREE winners.
Two people will win downloads of Elisa's books and one person will will a
Junior's Cheesecake sampler! Experience the joy!
Comments
36 comments posted.
Re: Elisa Lorello | No We Don't Have ESP....What It's Like To Be A Twin
How wonderful to have someone that you are so close to! My father was a twin, but like you and your brother, very different individuals, but very connected. Thank you for sharing!
(Joanne Reynolds 6:23am February 15, 2010)
I'm hoping to win the cheesecake Elisa raves so much about. I've read both her books and they're wonderful--Andi's journey is a rollercoaster
(Jodi Webb 8:17am February 15, 2010)
We have 11 year old twin girls and are always in awe of the relationship. They are totally different but alike in so many ways. thanks for sharing!
(Danelle Drake 9:51am February 15, 2010)
How sweet to he so close to your brother. I have one sister and we are also rather close. It doesn't feel right if I don't talk to her everyday on the phone or in-person.
(Sherry Russell 10:48am February 15, 2010)
Thanks for the comments so far and for your interest. I wish you could all win the cheesecake!
(I heard about The Last Will of Moira Leahy -- it's on my very long To Be Read list...)
(Elisa Lorello 10:57am February 15, 2010)
My grandmother is an identical twin and my husbands maternal grandmother's family had FIVE sets of twins, but alas, none of us grandkids on either side have had twins! I find twins a fun and interesting topic!
(Sharla Long 11:10am February 15, 2010)
Thanks for sharing your expriences. I've always wondered what it would've felt like to have a twin. :)
(Erica Paczesny 11:17am February 15, 2010)
That is a great story about you and your brother! I have a younger brother, by four years. He and I have an amazing connection when apart, I am almost afraid to say it! But we know immediately if one or the other of us are in need of something, hurt or not well. I am kind of freaked out about it a little, but it has always been this way. The other day I fell on the ice outside in my driveway. I had my phone in my pocket, As I was trying to re group it rang it was him! "Hey sis you ok?" I was like NO! My husband thinks it's uncanny! I think its wonderful!
(Jane Lange 11:27am February 15, 2010)
Twins have always fascinated me. Growing up, I had best friends that were twin girls. They definitely had a special connection.
(Mitzi Hinkey 11:49am February 15, 2010)
Some of our friends had twin girls at the same time we had our son. They were so identical it was hard to tell them apart by looking at them - but they had vastly different personalities.
(Vikki Parman 12:23pm February 15, 2010)
There were twins, 20 months old, at our church yesterday for their first visit, Fae and Mae, named after their great grandmother and great aunt who were twins. How wonderful!
Blessings,
Marjorie
(Marjorie Carmony 12:38pm February 15, 2010)
I have always wanted a twin. We could cover for each other and get into twice as much trouble. I know it won't ever happen but then again there might be someone who looks like me if not by related by blood.
(Kai Wong 12:51pm February 15, 2010)
I can imagine all the trouble we would have gotten into if I had a twin.
(Jane Cheung 12:56pm February 15, 2010)
I always wished I had been a twin... there was a set somewhere on my grandmother's side...
(Colleen Conklin 1:04pm February 15, 2010)
Do you think that you'll collaborate with your brother on a project? It would be great to see what you two would come up with if you combined your different styles.
(Leni Kaye 1:18pm February 15, 2010)
It's interesting to read because I follow this hockey team which has identical twins on it and it seems like they get asked every other day if they feel what the other one feels when they're away from each other and they always say that they don't but they keep getting pressed on it; as if it were true. You can see that they have a lot of similarities but they also have their differences; including one of them being more outgoing while one of them is shyer. I find it really interesting.
(Kasey Armstrong 2:07pm February 15, 2010)
Happy Birthday! What an interesting post. Thanks for visiting.
(G S Moch 2:20pm February 15, 2010)
It was fun to read about your experience as a twin. I guess people do assume that twins are identical and have some unusual connection of the mind.
(G. Bisbjerg 3:05pm February 15, 2010)
My late-husband had a twin brother and sister. For all the years I knew them, they seemed to hate each other. I have three sisters(no twins) and we are each others' best friends. I suppose that means, twins are like any other siblings. But, they are interesting!
(Patsy Hagen 3:46pm February 15, 2010)
These comments are great!!!
@Sharla: Twins run in my family -- as far as I know, my brother and I were the first, but I also have two sets of identical cousins (boys and girls, respectively). We're all about 10 years apart.
@Leni: That's an excellent question, one I've never been asked before. A long time ago we had brainstormed an idea in which he and I write separate pieces on common themes and then present it as one body of work. However, our styles are so completely different that I have no idea how we could market it. I think it would really confuse readers.
@G.S.: Thank you!
@Patsy: I've heard of twins not getting along, but it's strange to me. Not that my brother and I have never fought (I've had some nasty ones w/ him, and again, different from fights w/ my other sibs), but even though we live in different states and don't talk every day, the thought of dislike is just... ((shudders))
(Elisa Lorello 4:03pm February 15, 2010)
Once when a few readers were blogging about weird things written in books, I wrote about one from a twin's point of view, "Since she and her brother were identical twins, it was not surprising that they were able to communicate so well." Some of the bloggers just seemed occupied with the grammar of the sentence until one of them wrote, "How can a brother and sister be identical?" BTW the quote is paraphrased to protect the guilty.
On the other hand, my sister-in-law is the eldest of four children. The youngest ones were twins. The two older ones were girls. When the twins were born, the first were another girl. This was back in 1962 so there were few or no ultrasounds. The father badly wanted a son-- would this be one or another disappointment?--and out came a boy. His family exactly duplicated the father's own: two older single sisters first, then a set of twins with first a girl, then a boy.
His twin sister had 8 children, I believe, with 2 sets of twins. The pattern has not been replicated in this generation.
(Sigrun Schulz 4:47pm February 15, 2010)
A good book and cheesecake it couldn't get better.
(MaryEllen Hanneman 5:16pm February 15, 2010)
My oldest daughter was a twin; her brother died when I was seven months pregnant with them. She seems to have a special connection with him. She says she can feel his presence, especially on specially occasions. It's strange. But I do think the twin phenomenon works like that. My mom has a twin brother, and when he was having a heart attack, she had chest pains.
Either way, cheesecake or books sound good!
(LuAnn Schindler 6:36pm February 15, 2010)
I love cheese cake.Deb Pelletier
(Deb Pelletier 7:01pm February 15, 2010)
Considering that there are three basic varieties of twins (identical, mirror, and fraternal), my first question wouldn't be about ESP or special connections, but as a fan of elegant science fiction writing, what are some of your brother's titles?
You and your brother seem to be a kind of combination of mirror and fraternal twinage. Personally, I've always felt that those who were twinned were luckier than me, but friends who were twins have said that it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Others swear that they simply couldn't imagine life without their twin. In other words, they are all just like the rest of the non-twinned world!
All in all, a very interesting post. Thanks!
Later,
Lynn
(Lynn Rettig 7:58pm February 15, 2010)
I always wished I had a twin sibling .
It is so nice that you both are able to help each other out in the writing business.
(Gigi Hicks 8:39pm February 15, 2010)
Congrats to you and your brother for having such a unique life and please enter me in your fantastic contest too!
God bless you always, Cecilia
[email protected]
(Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 8:40pm February 15, 2010)
I'm glad you and your brother are so happy! My younger sisters are fraternal twins, and they aren't getting along right now. They are as different as night and day!
I hope they patch up their problems soon.
(Brenda Rupp 8:51pm February 15, 2010)
"as a fan of elegant science fiction writing, what are some of your brother's titles?"
@Lynn: My twin brother had one story published in an online magazine ("O Holy Night" was the title of his story). Other than that, he's going through the grind of submitting to literary magazines. I give him a lot of credit. He's going the traditional route, and with a genre like that one, it's so hard to break through. I took the non-traditional approach. It worked for me, but it's not something he's interested in. Likewise, I don't think I could do what he does.
@LuAnn: I'm so sorry for your loss, and your daughter's. There's a part of me that would love to have that extrasensory connection. I did have an experience where he was performing (he used to be in a band), and before he came on stage, you'd think I was the one going out there, I was so nervous! But the moment he came out, I was fine. Later he told me he was really nervous -- until he got on stage!
@Cecilia: Thank you so much! I wish I could respond to each one of you, and I wish you could all win! Junior's cheesecake is out of this world!
@Brenda: We're night and day too! We have some things in common, though.
Thanks everyone for all your comments and your interest -- this was terrific! Best of luck to all of you!
(Elisa Lorello 9:19pm February 15, 2010)
The only twins I've known were fraternal
brothers. One had both the looks and the
brains while the other had less of both.
They weren't very close.
(Jung Ja Ahn 11:20pm February 15, 2010)
Your reply to people when they ask if you're identical twins had me chuckling.
(Alyn Yang 11:59pm February 15, 2010)
I can't wait to read your books!
(Paul Berg 9:11am February 16, 2010)
I can't wait to read your books!
(Rebecca DeCourley 9:14am February 16, 2010)
love cheese cake
(Deb Pelletier 7:00pm February 16, 2010)
Thank you Paul and Rebecca! I hope you like them.
(Elisa Lorello 10:23am February 17, 2010)
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(Atiq Rumi 2:41am May 10, 2012)
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