Vicki Hinze | WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
November 13, 2009
Many authors become authors because they’re interested in a lot of different
things, and naturally those interests can create challenges when it comes time
to decide what you want to be when you grow up. After seeing John Glenn go to space, I wanted to be an astronaut. But women
we’re allowed in the program back then. Later, I wanted to be an attorney, to
fight the wrongs in the judicial system. Then a diplomat, to help resolve
issues between our nation and others. Still later, a doctor to help ill people
get well, and then an advocate for seniors, who know too little respect in our
country. Then I met and married a hurricane hunter who later got into Special
Operations. My imagination was on fire and my interests exploded in hundreds of
directions. How can a person, I wondered, just choose one thing to do when there are so many
fascinating choices? Eventually, I wound up in the corporate world as a director of operations. With
my husband’s job, we moved a lot, which meant I started over a lot. Women, in
particular, know how frustrating this can be, even as we understand the
necessity of it. After all, if our nation isn’t defended, well, job
opportunities kind of become a moot point, don’t they? It was in the middle of one such move that I began writing in earnest. Before
then, when kids played school, I played library. I wrote political essays,
poetry, and non-fiction articles on buying and selling real estate (based on the
experience that comes with frequent moves and relocations) but now I turned my
attention to writing a book. And I discovered that I could banish restrictions. I could be all the things I
wanted to be, explore careers and my deep interest in people. Finally, a career
choice limited only by my imagination! I was in heaven! I was also untrained and that meant going back to school to learn the craft of
writing and honing my vision of the art of writing. I fell head over heels in
love with it. I found my passion. Some two decades later, I still feel that passion about writing. I’ve explored
a lot of different types of novels, written what I call my Sunday Books, which
are ones I’ve written just because I loved them and have never sold them for
publication. And in doing so, I discovered a simple truth that has to me been
profound: Love what you’re doing. It isn’t just a career you’re building it is
a life. Your life. Just over ten years ago, I discovered I am a writer and I know who I want to be
when I grow up. That doesn’t speak to the "what you do" but to the "who you
are" questions we all face in life. On making this discovery, I hung a sign on my office wall that remains there
today. It reads: "When I grow up, I want to be a Fairy Godmother." Now before you give in to a hard belly-laugh or a fit of giggles, pause a second
and think about it. Can you imagine a more fulfilling job or life than one dedicated to helping
people work through their challenges constructively and assisting them in making
their dreams come true? I do what I can in my ways. Most are secret and will remain so. A few are open
and those who are of a mind know what they are. The rest don't really care, so
it's insignificant. But what is significant is that we don't have to wait to
pursue these types of wishes, hopes or desires. A few weeks ago, I had a chat with my son about happiness. There are always
times in life when it seems elusive, and times when we feel we're on a perpetual
hunt that will never end. But the truth is that happiness isn't something we
chase. We all have it, just as we have that divine spark some call a soul and
others refer to by different names. Happiness is our right and we own it. But like everything else in life, it's
subject to our own free will. We choose to be happy--or not to be happy. And so my advice to my son was to
make a conscious decision every morning on awakening, before putting his feet on
the floor. For that day, choose to be happy. For that day, claim your divine
right. Claiming happiness doesn't mean that you won't be confronted with challenges. It
does mean that when you're confronted with them you'll be in a better state to
deal with them in a manner that doesn't drag you through hell. It doesn't mean
you'll fake a perpetual sense of joy that you don't really feel. It means, you’ll have an attitude. A good one. Because you’re accepting that
wherever you are on your path, you believe you’re exactly where you’re supposed
to be. It’s knowing that no matter what happens, you can get through it without
going into self-destruct mode. Claiming happiness-or contentment--is believing
in you. And once you believe in you, then you take better care of you. You give yourself
the same respect and care and nurturing that you give others. It's amazing how
few of us do that. We break our necks to do for others, but hesitate or feel
guilty about doing for ourselves. That mindset embraces a lack of self-respect,
and we deserve better. We can have better. We need only claim
better-happiness, contentment. We choose. Once we do that, claim care for ourselves, we look at things more gently, and
that enables us to then really care about others. It's at that point that we can
do most for us and for them. Then it hit me. The key is in answering the 5 W questions. Who: Who do you want to be? What: What do you want to be? Why: Why do you want to be what and who you are? Where: Easiest of the bunch. Wherever you are. Right now. When: This is the tough one. Too many feel they must wait for optimum
conditions. When things settle down. When calm is restored. When we’re not in
crisis-mode. Lesson learned: There is no perfect time. Start now. Conditions will morph
to fit what you’re doing. Don’t wait. Too many wait and wait and then it’s too
late. Then they regret. We take a lot of leaps in faith in life. But too few on ourselves. And that’s
at the heart of my Fairy Godmother wish. If I can help, I do. A wise woman
once said to do small things with much love. People often read that and think
it means to just do things for others. But we’re people too, and when we
nurture ourselves--our dreams and wishes and hopes-we are in a better position
to help others. Can you answer the W questions on your life? There are no wrong answers, only
your answers. But they are important questions, and answering them matters most
to you and directly impacts how you feel about your life. When I grow up, I want to be a writer and fairy godmother. I’m living that. And I pray that whatever you want to be when you grow up, you are living that,
too. Blessings, Vicki Vicki Hinze’s latest
release is KILL ZONE.
In March, her FORGET ME
NOT will be released. Enter her November contest at Fresh Fiction to win a $25 gift
certificate.
Comments
14 comments posted.
Re: Vicki Hinze | WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
That is a great philosophy. Just deciding to be happy each morning goes a long way in how we spend the rest of the day. Thanks. (Karin Tillotson 2:07pm November 13, 2009)
Great blog! I like how you think! (Lisa Glidewell 2:43pm November 13, 2009)
I love it! As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." Actually, I love all of her quotes with getting on with life! Thanks for sharing! (Sharla Long 4:55pm November 13, 2009)
Great post. Believing in yourself is hard to achieve at times. (Jane Cheung 5:17pm November 13, 2009)
I believe in happiness. It's not enough to just live. As a mother all I have ever wanted for my children is to be happy. Achieving their true goals & potential. (Mary Preston 5:43pm November 13, 2009)
Going to work and coming home, making a meal and watching tv, just being with your family at the end of the day and discussing what we all did, I'm happy with that (Diane Sadler 5:43pm November 13, 2009)
I love pugs, I wish I could rescue all the homeless ones and give them the forever home they need. But reality sets in and I know thats impossible. So for now I'm content with my pugs and the love of my family. Someday maybe I can be a fairy Godmother. (Theresa Buckholtz 6:27pm November 13, 2009)
What a positive outlook you have. It is to easy to take the 'safe' choice. Your post gave me much to think about. You are fortunate to be brave enough to do what you love. Congratulations! (Rosemary Krejsa 6:34pm November 13, 2009)
What a lovely post. You are so right about putting things off and waiting for the time to be right. I spent the time as a military wife putting things off. We retired because my husband had cancer and I was working full time for the first time. For one reason or another, things were delayed. I'm at the point now where I'm at the edge of it's too late. I have enjoyed most of what I've done, but exploring a few possibilities, like writing, were left behind. I think I'll aim for the Fairy Godmother slot. That really would be a great career. (Patricia Barraclough 1:20am November 14, 2009)
Nod agreement for this post. Fairy Godmother's are so ethereal, you'd think they were just in the imagination. (Alyson Widen 12:44pm November 14, 2009)
You have such a great outlook!
dancealert at aol dot com (Brenda Rupp 10:48pm November 18, 2009)
You should always seize the day (Allison Gardner 11:39am November 25, 2009)
What I'd like right at this immediate moment is to gift myself (and my daughters) the gift of forgetfulness. Forgetfulness of the sorrows, disappointments, lost loves and parents and lost opportunities of all our (shared) lives. WE had rough rough times, and they've left scars that try to block our ability to love each other, and more importantly - to stop us from showing or acknowledging it. I'd locked mine away till this week, when they've bloomed anew so I can Bless them (after mourning), then give them to Spirit. But I dont know how to breach the gap with my daughters - I know it's up to them. Not trying to be gloomy, but this is real stuff, the stuff of which greater strength and love can be born. So, I honor it, as I let go, again. What I want to be when I grow up, is free; inside and out to belly laugh, to skydive and sit by the ocean and do nothing for hours IF that's what I choose. And to live with wild abandon. How's that for a new life? (Leah Martin 4:53pm December 22, 2009)
Leah, dahlink, I'm going to be frank. I just saw this post of yours, and first, I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. Second--and, yes, this is experience talking--I want to share with you that we should never forget our sorrows, disappointments, lost loves/parents or rough times.
Oh, it'd be pleasant to be unblemished, that's true. But those scars make us who we are. Because we've known sorrow, we are more compassionate. Because we've been disappointed, we try not to disappoint. Because we've endured lost love and lost parents, we know what precious treasures they are and that we can pass forth to our kids. That we can embrace when we courageously love again--and it is courageous because we're not ignorant of loss. We know the pain, and yet dare to love again anyway.
In remembering our parents, we remember what it is like to not be orphaned. All the good in them, or the things they taught us. Their quirks, loves, hates. We remember and so they're not lost, Leah. I hope when I'm gone someone remembers me.
I walked through a cemetery once many years ago and saw a tombstone. On it the family had written, "She was the sunshine of our home." Sunshine was my mother's nickname for me. It stuck in my mind and really did a lot to shape the kind of person I wanted to be. Even difficult people in our lives offer something worth remembering. What we don't want to do or be is as important as what we do, you know?
There is honor in the scars, Leah. That's what I'm trying to say. They make us stronger and wiser and more loving--if we let them. That's when we remember, take the good and put the rest into the past where it belongs. We let it rest.
It's kind of like a windshield and rear view mirror. The rearview is small because we need to see what's behind us, where we've been. But the windshield is huge because we need to focus on where we're going.
Choices. It's all (Vicki Hinze 4:44pm April 6, 2011)
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