Vicki Hinze | WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Many authors become authors because they’re interested in a lot of different things, and naturally those interests can create challenges when it comes time to decide what you want to be when you grow up.

After seeing John Glenn go to space, I wanted to be an astronaut. But women we’re allowed in the program back then. Later, I wanted to be an attorney, to fight the wrongs in the judicial system. Then a diplomat, to help resolve issues between our nation and others. Still later, a doctor to help ill people get well, and then an advocate for seniors, who know too little respect in our country. Then I met and married a hurricane hunter who later got into Special Operations. My imagination was on fire and my interests exploded in hundreds of directions.

How can a person, I wondered, just choose one thing to do when there are so many fascinating choices?

Eventually, I wound up in the corporate world as a director of operations. With my husband’s job, we moved a lot, which meant I started over a lot. Women, in particular, know how frustrating this can be, even as we understand the necessity of it. After all, if our nation isn’t defended, well, job opportunities kind of become a moot point, don’t they?

It was in the middle of one such move that I began writing in earnest. Before then, when kids played school, I played library. I wrote political essays, poetry, and non-fiction articles on buying and selling real estate (based on the experience that comes with frequent moves and relocations) but now I turned my attention to writing a book.

And I discovered that I could banish restrictions. I could be all the things I wanted to be, explore careers and my deep interest in people. Finally, a career choice limited only by my imagination! I was in heaven!

I was also untrained and that meant going back to school to learn the craft of writing and honing my vision of the art of writing. I fell head over heels in love with it. I found my passion.

Some two decades later, I still feel that passion about writing. I’ve explored a lot of different types of novels, written what I call my Sunday Books, which are ones I’ve written just because I loved them and have never sold them for publication. And in doing so, I discovered a simple truth that has to me been profound: Love what you’re doing. It isn’t just a career you’re building it is a life. Your life.

Just over ten years ago, I discovered I am a writer and I know who I want to be when I grow up. That doesn’t speak to the "what you do" but to the "who you are" questions we all face in life.

On making this discovery, I hung a sign on my office wall that remains there today. It reads: "When I grow up, I want to be a Fairy Godmother."

Now before you give in to a hard belly-laugh or a fit of giggles, pause a second and think about it.

Can you imagine a more fulfilling job or life than one dedicated to helping people work through their challenges constructively and assisting them in making their dreams come true?

I do what I can in my ways. Most are secret and will remain so. A few are open and those who are of a mind know what they are. The rest don't really care, so it's insignificant. But what is significant is that we don't have to wait to pursue these types of wishes, hopes or desires.

A few weeks ago, I had a chat with my son about happiness. There are always times in life when it seems elusive, and times when we feel we're on a perpetual hunt that will never end. But the truth is that happiness isn't something we chase. We all have it, just as we have that divine spark some call a soul and others refer to by different names.

Happiness is our right and we own it. But like everything else in life, it's subject to our own free will.

We choose to be happy--or not to be happy. And so my advice to my son was to make a conscious decision every morning on awakening, before putting his feet on the floor. For that day, choose to be happy. For that day, claim your divine right.

Claiming happiness doesn't mean that you won't be confronted with challenges. It does mean that when you're confronted with them you'll be in a better state to deal with them in a manner that doesn't drag you through hell. It doesn't mean you'll fake a perpetual sense of joy that you don't really feel.

It means, you’ll have an attitude. A good one. Because you’re accepting that wherever you are on your path, you believe you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. It’s knowing that no matter what happens, you can get through it without going into self-destruct mode. Claiming happiness-or contentment--is believing in you.

And once you believe in you, then you take better care of you. You give yourself the same respect and care and nurturing that you give others. It's amazing how few of us do that. We break our necks to do for others, but hesitate or feel guilty about doing for ourselves. That mindset embraces a lack of self-respect, and we deserve better. We can have better. We need only claim better-happiness, contentment. We choose.

Once we do that, claim care for ourselves, we look at things more gently, and that enables us to then really care about others. It's at that point that we can do most for us and for them.

Then it hit me. The key is in answering the 5 W questions.

Who: Who do you want to be?

What: What do you want to be?

Why: Why do you want to be what and who you are?

Where: Easiest of the bunch. Wherever you are. Right now.

When: This is the tough one. Too many feel they must wait for optimum conditions. When things settle down. When calm is restored. When we’re not in crisis-mode.

Lesson learned: There is no perfect time. Start now. Conditions will morph to fit what you’re doing. Don’t wait. Too many wait and wait and then it’s too late. Then they regret.

We take a lot of leaps in faith in life. But too few on ourselves. And that’s at the heart of my Fairy Godmother wish. If I can help, I do. A wise woman once said to do small things with much love. People often read that and think it means to just do things for others. But we’re people too, and when we nurture ourselves--our dreams and wishes and hopes-we are in a better position to help others.

Can you answer the W questions on your life? There are no wrong answers, only your answers. But they are important questions, and answering them matters most to you and directly impacts how you feel about your life.

When I grow up, I want to be a writer and fairy godmother. I’m living that.

And I pray that whatever you want to be when you grow up, you are living that, too.

Blessings,

Vicki

Vicki Hinze’s latest release is KILL ZONE. In March, her FORGET ME NOT will be released. Enter her November contest at Fresh Fiction to win a $25 gift certificate.