Diane Kelly | Is All Truly Fair in Love and War?
October 16, 2012
Bad breakups. Ugh. Weâ€™ve all suffered through them. Whether youâ€™re the
breaker-upper or the breaker-uppee, the end of a relationship can be painful,
humiliating, and heartbreaking.
Bad breakups can take many forms. Maybe weâ€™ve lost interest in the person weâ€™ve
been seeing. We try to gently break it our boyfriend or girlfriend that we want
to move on and the person responds with anger, spreading vicious rumors about us
or disclosing embarrassing secrets once shared in confidence. Or maybe the
person weâ€™ve been seeing, the one who seemed so nice and sweet and committed,
has been unfaithful, ripping out our heart and stomping on it. Or perhaps the
breakup has been building for some time like the pressure in a volcano and ends
in a screaming and swearing match, each person doing their best to rip the other
to emotional shreds.
Dating isnâ€™t for wimps, huh?
Back in high school, a guy I was dating showed up at my house with a hickey on
his neck . . . a hickey some other girl had put there. Did he really think I
wouldnâ€™t notice a purple bruise the size of a silver dollar on his neck? Sheesh!
I vowed then and there to never again date a guy named Bubba.
Of course some breakups occur naturally and the demise of the relationship is no
surprise to either party. In such cases, two people can split amicably and move
on to find someone more appropriate. The worst breakups, however, are the ones a
person doesnâ€™t see coming. When a person is blindsided by an unexpected or
particularly cruel dumping, he or she may be tempted to seek revenge on the
dumper and even the score. After all, hell hath no fury like a woman (or man)
Revenge is one of the themes in my upcoming novella, DEATH, TAXES, AND A SEQUINED
CLUTCH. In the book, IRS criminal investigator Tara Holloway finds herself
with an unexpected opportunity to even the score with a former lover who did her
wrong. Should she forgive the jerk or teach him a long overdue lesson?
What do you think - is all truly fair in love and war?Â Got a bad breakup
story?Â A good revenge story?Â Share it!
33 comments posted.
Re: Diane Kelly | Is All Truly Fair in Love and War?
The Christian thing would be to forgive the jerk however I think she should even the score and teach him a lesson so long as it is legal.
(Lori Yost 10:08am October 16, 2012)
Act like you could not care less, never let him know how hurt you are.
(MaryEllen Hanneman 10:18am October 16, 2012)
I have found that the best way is to treat them with kindness when you see the louse. Say hello whenever you see them. It will just kill them and make them feel guilty if they don't already.
(Cathy Phillips 10:45am October 16, 2012)
I like to think if you put bad vibes out there after the fact it will come back to you. So I just try to move forward.
(Pam Howell 11:17am October 16, 2012)
"Law of One" the situation and see what unfolds..... ;^)
(Susan Jeffers 12:04pm October 16, 2012)
No, I think it's best to get poisonous people out of your life. Revenge may feel good, but that just keeps them in your life longer.
(Kathleen Conner 12:31pm October 16, 2012)
You can forgive them but you won't forget it...
(Bonnie Capuano 1:12pm October 16, 2012)
yay a good chance thanks
(Debbi Shaw 1:27pm October 16, 2012)
When you're with a person long enough, and they've hurt you, I think that they know without you even saying a word. You can choose to use revenge, or you can talk it out, which can work, depending on the circumstances. In most cases, it can make your marriage stronger. Depending on what they did, in some cases you can't let it go internally. That's the only bad part. I truly believe that most men go through a jerk phase of their lives, then they finally settle down, and realize the error of their ways. I'm very curious to read your book and see how you resolve the situation.
(Peggy Roberson 1:40pm October 16, 2012)
Looks like Lori is the only one with me so far! I guess the rest of you are more mature than we are. : )
(Diane Kelly 2:31pm October 16, 2012)
teach him a lesson so long as it is legal-I like that! After high school my boyfriend sent his friend to tell me he had found a new girlfriend and I should not be hurt and move on! at the time revenge sounded sweet!
(Vicki Wurgler 2:44pm October 16, 2012)
I personally say let the person go. I'm a strong believer in Karma. Karma ALWAYS bites you in your behind at some point.
(Kim Matlock 2:51pm October 16, 2012)
It's so very hard to do the right thing & forgive & forget...sometimes it seems that we really do need at least a tiny bit of revenge to put things behind us. ;)
(Kim Giardina 2:53pm October 16, 2012)
Break ups are harsh and all is fair in love and war. But after some time one can look back and not feel anything at all, by releasing the anger (hopefully on some fling as a rebound) you can get on with your life.
Now if one has been truly hurt and not seen this coming (as in most break ups you see the signs beforehand) well, as my grandmother told me - revenge is a dish best served cold. Yes, I have served up some cold dishes (I don't take any betrayal lightly - emotional, physical - you are dead to me and when I am done you would wish you were) I have bided my time and delivered. Over time you can forgive, the person but not necessarily the action.
(Carla Carlson 2:57pm October 16, 2012)
Breakups are never fun, but they are inevitable. You spent most of your early
years trying to figure out what does and doesn't work in a relationship.
(Shannon Scott 3:43pm October 16, 2012)
Sadly when you break up it may be because you have just found out the other person has been using you. You don't want to keep them around, forgive them or anything: you just want them gone.
If they have done somethgin exceptional and hurtful however it may be worth finding out what was going on.
A scorned wife in Britain got revenge on her well-off husband by cutting up his suits and driving around the village handing out his pricey bottles of wine to all the villagers.
(Clare O'Beara 4:10pm October 16, 2012)
IF YOU WANT REVENGE BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN GAME AND SEE IT
(Shelly Caggiano 4:16pm October 16, 2012)
i would like to really read this book, love the cover and title...
(Kimberly Hoefs 4:48pm October 16, 2012)
I think Tara should teach her former lover a long overdue lesson. However, in my own personal experiences, I have found that what goes around comes around (without any revenge needed by the cheated on or dumped person). Some guys thing the grass is greener on the other side and end up with much worse than what they had and discover this much sooner than later. Then when you've found a new person, they're totally jealous. This sounds like a book I would really like a lot, and I definitely plan to read it!
(Linda Luinstra 5:19pm October 16, 2012)
Love the revenge aspect. But it is important to be smart about
(Sharon Berger 5:22pm October 16, 2012)
The title is a winner by itself
(Shelly Itkin 5:40pm October 16, 2012)
Get revenge! I'll bring the shovel! And wine.
(Angela Hicks 7:27pm October 16, 2012)
Revenge is best on the T.V. show. You don't want to do anything you'll regret (or that's illegal).
(Michelle Fidler 8:18pm October 16, 2012)
Revenge would be very sweet.
(Anna Speed 8:51pm October 16, 2012)
I can't recall a good break up or revenge story. That was all too long ago. Enjoyed your blog.
(Sheila True 9:03pm October 16, 2012)
All is never fair in love and war. Read Death, Taxes and a French Manicure. Could not put it down. Your new book sounds just as addictive.
(L Green 10:26pm October 16, 2012)
It seems like the best revenge after a bad breakup is to act like you're doing wonderful when you see them again in the future. It really makes them mad!!
(Michele Hayes 10:51pm October 16, 2012)
My sister and her boyfriend have broken up at least three times. I finally got tired of her asking me if that was him calling the first two times they broke up. The third time, she told me that they broke up because he was seeing another woman and plus I received information that my sister was a stand-in until he found somebody better than my sister.
The fourth time, they broke up, I had enough. I basically confronted him and told him that he was never serious about my sister and never to call the house again or show his face here. I also had some friends who are former gangbangers and who still live in my neighborhood.
Let say without going into details, I had them intimidated him when he stopped by to plea with my sister (I knew he was going to do that by week 5). I also made sure that my sister was not home when this happened.
I have to admit, I'm quite devious when I really put my mind to it, plus the fact that he was unfaithful to my sister. Each time they broke up, he was always with a different woman.
(Kai Wong 11:09pm October 16, 2012)
Book sounds great. Would love to win it.
(Amy Milne 11:12pm October 16, 2012)
It is better to just move on and learn from the experience.
(Rita Wray 1:10pm October 17, 2012)
Learn from your experience, forget it, and continue on with your life---don't waste valuable time getting even.
(Sue Farrell 3:56pm October 17, 2012)
It's not all fair. People get hurt.
(Mary Preston 4:42am October 18, 2012)
I'd like to think it's all fair, but know it's not. Revenge tends to trip you up and doesn't make you feel very satisfied. Even though you ask, maybe telling someone how you really feel can hurt feelings and break off friendships. As time goes on, you find how much to reveal and how far you can encourage or "push" the friend out of a comfort zone.
(Alyson Widen 3:29pm October 19, 2012)
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