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Julie Crabtree | Who Do You Think You Are?
July 13, 2011
I went on a mini-book tour last month, visiting middle school classrooms to talk
about my new book, being an author, and writing as a hobby and career. Sure, I
am there to promote my books, but more importantly, at least to me as an author
of middle grade fiction, I get to hear their stories. I find that
strange, wonderful, awkward, exciting time of life I call tweenagehood endlessly
fascinating and inevitably complicated. Middle graders hover uncertainly
between childhood and becoming a young adult, and it ain't easy! I think back to my own years as a tweenager, I have such clear memories of sixth
and seventh grades, and I believe I became me during those years. I
decided I was good at English and bad at math. That I wasn't pretty, but I
could be smart. I decided I would be funny, and that I would develop a
signature that was totally illegible and therefore exotic and mysterious.
Adult. I decided I was not a patient person. All those choices, that
self-defining that went on in middle school, charted my course in high school,
college, and beyond. I avoided taking challenging math and science classes,
felt sure I would fail. In social situations I told jokes, tried to make people
laugh so they might not notice my plainness. My signature to this day is a
wreck of scrawled humps...not exotic, just illegible. I have been saying,
"Sorry, I am just not patient" to everyone for too many years. I can be patient
if I choose it, but it easier to excuse my behavior by making my impatience an
undeniable fact, like my blue eyes. I have been thinking like that since middle
school, so it's hard to let it go. On my book tour, I heard kids doing the same thing, making rules about what they
could do and what they would certainly fail at if they tried. It struck me as
sad and familiar. I challenged them to examine the self-defining they are
doing, to consider self-judgment and where it leads. We had intense
conversations, and I was stunned with the level on introspection and emotion in
these kids. They are becoming their future selves. In my writing, I try to capture that experience. My own thirteen year old self
whispers in my ear, and I strive to channel her emotions. All the kids I met on
my book tour, especially the brave ones who opened up and told their own
stories, have helped me understand what it is to be a tween in today's world.
It is certainly different than it was for me back in the 80's, yet the essential
experience, the emotion and tumult and self judgment, is unchanged. This summer I am challenging myself to be who I don't think I am, if that makes
any sense. It's not really fair to run around asking classrooms of kids to try
it when I rarely break my own molds. I never felt like a "real" author, and
honestly I still don't, but I act as thought I am, and it seems to work, so...if
I pretend to be a supermodel, will the Ford Agency magically call? Probably
not, I know this little "experiment" has its limits, but I am curious about
trying to do what I asked the kids to do: redrawing some part of that picture
of myself I consider to be etched in unchangeable Sharpie. The one I colored in
middle school. I am going to pretend I am patient. I will act like a real
patient person, and try to think of that as a trait I possess. I am not going
to sigh dramatically and tap my foot when my daughter takes two extra minutes to
get ready, or get that bad, pitchy whine I get when I have asked MORE THAN ONCE
for everyone to get their dirty clothes into the laundry room. My kids are
allowed to "check" me on this, so it might be a really long summer! Fresh Fiction is going to sponsor a blog contest about this topic, and the
winner will get a copy of my new book, THE CREPE MAKERS' BOND and
the first book in the series, DISCOVERING PIG MAGIC. The question is, what have you decided you are? Smart? Average? Dumb? Quirky?
Deep? Beautiful? Plain? Outgoing? Shy? You get the idea. Is the
characteristic self-created or real? When did you assign yourself this feature?
Ask your friends and family if they agree that you have this
characteristic--their answers might surprise you. If it's a negative
personality or behavior trait, do you think you can "pretend" your way into
changing it just as I am going to try to pretend away my impatience? I don't
know the answer, but wish me luck! I wish all of you luck too, and a happy
summer! Julie Crabtree
www.julie.crabtree.com
Comments
28 comments posted.
Re: Julie Crabtree | Who Do You Think You Are?
I am currently struggling with jealousy and I am going to pretend i'm not! I will let you know how it goes. Great post, I am looking forward to reading this.
(Patti Paonessa 10:01pm July 12, 2011)
Different situations trigger different traits from me. I have my strengths in reading, writing and memorizing. My weakness stems from public speaking and being put under scutiny and judged by my peers. I do question myself a lot and tend to be shy around strangers. When it comes to my group of friends I am very funny and outgoing. My outside layers may seem cold or standoofish, but once you get to know me and the layers peel off there's a warm, quirky friend inside :) The weaknesses I am aware of Ikeep in mind and try to improve in incremental steps.
(Na S 1:52am July 13, 2011)
self assured - I am not! In fact I feel I have low self esteem and it shows so I was stunned when a co worker said you're always so confident and outgoing. Huh? Me? Wow, do I have you fooled! Unconsciously of course. Your book sounds terrific!
(Karen Gervasi 8:34am July 13, 2011)
Honestly depends on the day...some days I am totally confident and then other days I just feel weak...
(Dawn Staniszeski 9:00am July 13, 2011)
Wow..what a topic! I don't consider myself physically a
beauty...beauty is only skin deep, but it helps ones self-
esteem, I think. I am friendly, reliable, caring...I think
my family and friends would agree to that. I'm a little
apprehensive in unknown situations and not always very
outgoing in those circumstances...Some days are just better
than others. Think it's that way for most people.
(Leanna Morris 12:10pm July 13, 2011)
I am an only child who basked in parental attention and care and was taught that life's ultimate grace/obligation is to share any advantage one might have toward the better good.....that one's personal value is one's utility, without which one is adrift. I traveled the world from birth, enjoyed an excellent education, then set to work in my profession. I've never particularly given attention to the perception of me as reflected by others except in being a catalyst to the positive development of others.....and in noting that my personality at age five, as described by my mother in my baby book, remains largely in force.
I am happy in my skin and was while growing up, continue to keep abreast of the world's events and changes, always have determined my own path amid surrounding, extraneous influences, and strive to contribute fully to all my endeavors.
I always have considered myself fortunate by self design.
(Carla Schuller 3:20pm July 13, 2011)
What a fascinating post, Julie! It took me back to my seventh grade days
which were the absolute worst for me. My hormones were kicking in, so the
zits on my face exploded and I was teased for having a big butt. I laugh
about the butt today because I was thin and petite with a J-Lo butt! It was the
first year that I had ever had a male teacher. It was also my first introduction
to a homosexual relationship. My teacher and the art teacher were "best
friends" and they got together and cooked all the time. The teacher told us
what they made. At the time, I didn't fully understand it, but I knew
something was different. Thus, I was being introduced to something new in
life. The next year, I picked up more confidence and, as you noted, decided
to become an extrovert and was determined to be popular. I was happier and
began to like boys and took more interest in academic subjects that most
interested me. Today, I am a grandmother of eight and have watched my
children and grandchildren pass through this treacherous phase. As painful
as it may be when going through it, we all must do it and hope that there is
someone out there to let us know that we are normal and all will be well.
Connie Fischer
(Connie Fischer 4:23pm July 13, 2011)
I am rather serious but think that puns are a necessity!
Blessings,
Marjorie
(Marjorie Carmony 4:27pm July 13, 2011)
As a kid, I was into everything and had to know all that was happening. As an adult, I smiled a lot and listen to what people had to say. I've become smarter than most by only imparting my wisdom when deemed necessary. I like my self confidence and I'm quick to stand by my friends. I've been told that I'm a strong person. Hummmmm.
(Rosemary Simm 4:33pm July 13, 2011)
Right now I'm struggling with my quick temper--it only hurts me more than anyone else---I should pretend to be more carefree and calm.
(Sue Farrell 5:07pm July 13, 2011)
I'm always the funny one, can find humor in almost any situation.
(MaryEllen Hanneman 5:17pm July 13, 2011)
I am a little on the shy side but not as bad as I used to be. I do have a temper but take a lot before it comes out and I sometimes put foot in the mouth when I shouldn't when I get mad, trying to change that.
(Gail Hurt 5:31pm July 13, 2011)
The question is, what have you decided you are? WISE
Is the characteristic self-created or real? REAL
When did you assign yourself this feature? Once my children
were grown I realized this and that I have always been wise
to some degree.
My friends and family mostly agree. Some just don't
understand the difference between wise (life) and smart
(books/educated).
(Michele Powell 5:31pm July 13, 2011)
I am intelligent but gullible, I WANT to believe and oftenoverlook the apparant signs that my intelligent mind is telling but...............
(Marcelle Cole 5:47pm July 13, 2011)
Dogmatic: not imagined at all. Realistic & determined.
(Mary Preston 5:47pm July 13, 2011)
All through school I stuttered,not servere. Just bad enough that I knew not to do anything that envolved speaking before any people or trying to speak under any type of pressure. As I got older I learned more control, but still avoid any situations that might cause me to stutter.
(Sheila True 6:02pm July 13, 2011)
I was popular in school but have always considered myself average.
(Lisa Garrett 6:09pm July 13, 2011)
I always considered myself average in looks until I gained an enormous amount of weight, now I am a D-.
(Kathleen Bianchi 6:12pm July 13, 2011)
Both looks and intelligence are relative. There is no absolute definition of either. What is beautiful or smart to one could be ugly and dumb to another. I am and always will be "just me".
Good luck and happy writing!
(Tracie Travis 6:36pm July 13, 2011)
Unfortunately I let others define me for years. I had let them choose the path I would take in my life, the goals I was to achieve and fail, and as time has passed I have come to realize I am none of the things that they defined/pushed upon me - everyday I am molding myself, healing myself, creating and achieving, everyday is a blessing and adventure. I have learned Not to box my children in with defining lines - they are free spirits with dreams and wings for flight, my job is to give them roots and a branch to land on (and a whole lot of love that comes naturally)
(Carla Carlson 6:47pm July 13, 2011)
I believe that I'm a smart person with average looks. I'm also a very patient person. I have to be, considering my health and life situation. lol I'm also a bit of a complex person, with a good sense of humor. Most people would agree with what I wrote, and probably add to it. I can't say whether these remarks would be favorable, depending on who you would ask. In school, I had a small circle of friends. We were all misfits, who hung around together, and kept to ourselves. We were never popular, and I usually had a job after work, as did the others, so we didn't have time to mingle with the popular kids.
(Peggy Roberson 7:02pm July 13, 2011)
Yes, I believe that I am Smart in that I put God First in my Life now and have learned from alot of my mistakes in my past. I have come a long ways. Yes, I am kind of deep too and shy at times too. Please enter me in your fantastic contest. I love to enter and win great books on freshfiction.com
Thank YOU very much, CECILIA
(Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 7:20pm July 13, 2011)
If you tell yourself often enough what you are, you come to believe it. If someone else tells you, it seems to hold an infinite amount of weight and you may carry this assessment good or bad for a long time. It's called the self fulfilling prophecy and is part of Psych 101. I try to tell myself the good stuff since that's what I want to hear the most.
(Alyson Widen 7:50pm July 13, 2011)
well me i am not dumb but i am quriky and i like to do all kind of thing i tryed college but it did not work out
(Desiree Reilly 7:56pm July 13, 2011)
I am rather shy and I've basically always been that way. I really have to psyche
myself up if I have to speak in front of many people.
(Linda Henderson 8:36pm July 13, 2011)
I definitely consider myself smart. It started with getting good grades and getting into the top classes. I want to say it started in middle school. Although I won a reading contest (read the most pages in a year) in 5th grade. My family has always agreed that I am smart. I think it has been more a self-fulfilling prophecy. Quite often I think my brother is the smartest as he has been very successful in business and life. Unfortunately, I have to agree that a large part of our life is based on how we view ourselves.
(Renee Brown 10:06pm July 13, 2011)
People have told me that I'm aggressive, but I don't really see myself that way. My mother in law and even my mother tend to be tough. They are the type who never wait their turn and go to the front of the line. To me that is being aggressive, I'm more the let's see what happens person. But something I'd like to do is try my hand at art or writing.
(MaryAnne Banks 12:36pm July 14, 2011)
Smart- normally... but I try to see myself in other ways too so I don't limit myself and box myself in a corner...
(May Pau 12:43pm July 14, 2011)
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