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Elizabeth Seckman | Teaching Lessons
May 17, 2013
My grandmother taught me many things. Almost every interaction was a life
lesson. Even my wedding card came with a note of guidance. It was who she was,
the matriarch and teacher, the gentle scolder, the do right prodder. I can
honestly say, most all of my conversations will include at some point the words,
"my grandma told me". Even when she wasn't intentionally spewing wisdom, she made me a wee bit wiser. My grandfather passed away in April 1993. He and my grandma were more than
husband and wife; they were the best of buddies. They were Bud and Rose. Even
their names were intertwined. Everyone worried about my grandmother adjusting
and surviving to life on her own. Then in April 1994, almost to the day of my
grandfather's death, my first son was born. My grandma arrived at the hospital near tears. She told me Caleb was God's way
of reminding her good things still happen in life, even among the April showers.
She stood over the little plastic hospital bassinet and smiled. I told her she
should hold him. She grinned at me and scooped him up. As she patted and cooed
she said something that taught me one of the biggest lessons of my life. She
said, "I AM going to hold this baby. Normally I don't. Babies are so
beautiful and perfect and my old hands just look like twisted, bony crone's
claws against their new skin." Seriously? She thought those hands were ugly? In a stunned instant, I thought of
the countless times those hands tended boo boos, gave hugs, or amazingly peeled
the skin from a potato without an ounce of flesh lost. They were my grandma's
hands. They were beautiful and perfect, even in their imperfection. I gave HER a
scolding. She argued her point a bit...her hands were calloused. Bull. Those
were just a testimony to her strength. She threw hay bales and hoed a garden as
well as any man. She maintained her nails were always broken and she never had
them manicured. They weren't very lady like. Not lady like? My grandma's hands
could knit lace finer than any belle from the deepest south. She lost the argument. She had to admit that she didn't have to be perfect to be
beautiful. I smugly felt like the student had become the teacher. At least until I hit the post-partum wall of blah. I found that even though the
scales said I was back to pre-baby weight, it was all shifted and so NOT the
pre-baby same. I was depressed. I made the mistake of whining to my grandmother.
She reminded me that we are most beautiful in our imperfections, are we not? Touché savvy lady, touché. I will certainly miss her ALWAYS besting me. About the Author: Elizabeth Seckman is a
simple chick who dares to dream...to one day have a clean house, a tight bum,
and a shelf full of books with her name on them. She has two books to her
credit, PAST DUE and HEALING SUMMER. You can
reach her on the web at www.elizabethseckman.com What are some lessons you've learned in life or taught? One commenter will
win a copy of one of Elizabeth's books, winner's choice.
Comments
31 comments posted.
Re: Elizabeth Seckman | Teaching Lessons
Live life now - not with what ifs. Don't let your past define you. Time is too precious to waste - be it on people, situations, doubt - spend it doing what feeds your heart and soul. Nothing works like a good laugh.
(Carla Carlson 12:37pm May 17, 2013)
I learned that I was a stronger person than I thought I was - stronger in spirit, and stronger to deal with what life throws at me. I also learned that I was smarter than I was given credit for from my Parents, and a lot more respected. I've had a lot of major things thrown at me over the past decade which have changed my life, and was amazed how many people not only leaned on me, but how I had to take charge in a few situations, when I would have preferred to sit on the sidelines. Nevertheless, it gave me a rejuvenation to go on with my life in ways I never expected!! I wanted to tell you that I am in love with the cover of your book!! It took my breath away!! I'm also a lover of lighthouses, so that brought a smile to my face. Give your little Caleb a kiss from me, and I'm going to be looking forward to reading both of your books!!
(Peggy Roberson 2:00pm May 17, 2013)
What a lovely story, it made me cry. I learned that life is very short and it goes by very fast. Do what you want to do and tell those you care about how much you love them.
(Rita Wray 2:16pm May 17, 2013)
Both of my grandmothers died before I was old enough to remember them.
You were so lucky to have such good memories.
(Susan Falkler 2:31pm May 17, 2013)
My Dad always taught us to stand up for ourselves and to work
hard!!! My Mom taught us a Mother's love has no boundaries!!!
(Vicki Hancock 3:06pm May 17, 2013)
I've learned so many things it would be an endless list. But one thing that stands out to
me is learning that holding on to the past will affect the future. The best thing to do is
letting go of things that you can't fix. Things that are long gone. Time does not wait for
anything and if you can't move forward, you'll be stuck in a whirlpool of denial.
(Lazydrag0n Puff 4:57pm May 17, 2013)
Do the things you want now, like traveling. You may not get to do them later.
(Wilma Frana 4:59pm May 17, 2013)
I think I learned more from my Grandma than i did my Mother-she taught me
to cook, sew, clean things fast and correctly, and how to dance. I lived with
her on the ranch in the summers while growing up. One thing I will always
remember is her saying "Don't talk about others" and to this day I have never
been a gossip or even surrounded myself with gossipy people. It has been a
good tenet in my life.
(Joy Isley 5:04pm May 17, 2013)
It sounds like you had a very wonderful and hardworking grandmother, and learned good life lessons from her. Both my grandmothers passed away when I was 11 and 12 yrs. old. My grandmother that was a school teacher taught me to play the piano and make jewelry. I remember she was a perfectionist about so many things (everything in a neat order). I think this rubbed off on me to some extent. I love your book cover, and I enjoyed reading your story about your grandma's hands (so sweet)!
(Linda Luinstra 5:16pm May 17, 2013)
I've learned that the older you get, the faster time moves forward. So enjoy what you have while you can.
(Carol Woodruff 6:58pm May 17, 2013)
Treat everyone the way you want to be treated AND a SMILE goes along way!
(JoAnn White 7:09pm May 17, 2013)
i was told you will either work or go to school but you won't sit at home while i work. and to always pay your on bills.
(Jennifer Beck 7:11pm May 17, 2013)
Great story! For me, it's that my parents didn't do a perfect job of raising my sister and me but they love us totally and did the best that they could. And that's the most important part of all!
(May Pau 8:21pm May 17, 2013)
Carol C. Time IS precious! The older I get, the better I
understand that.
Peggy R. Sorry to hear you had so many troubles. They say
steel is best forged by fire, and I guess you are proof of
that. The cover was the creation of my publisher, Karen
Fuller- quite a creative lady! And I'll give Caleb a kiss,
but he's no longer a baby...he just finished his first year
of college! How did that happen?
Rita W. Sorry I made you cry. :( But they say it's good for
the soul and cleanses the ducts...so maybe not a bad thing?
Saying "I love you" is very important!
Susan F. I am ever so lucky. I had two of the best grandmas
and they both taught me many things. They've both passed on,
but they stay with me in my heart.
Vicki H. Working hard is excellent advice. I always figured
you do the best work you can, no matter what the job.
Xoun J. Excellent advice. Takes some people years of therapy
to become that wise!
Wilma F. I'm really bad about doing what I want. I'm by
nature a worker, but since I have kids, I try to be mindful
to turn my back on the to-do list every now and then and
relax.
Joy I. Grandmas sometimes have the time and patience busy
moms don't have. Those summer memories are something special
to have.
Linda L. Sorry to hear you lost your grandmas so young. Many
of my grandmas' traits rubbed off on me too...which is nice,
it keeps me connected to them.
L. Lam. Working hard is important!
Carol W. You are so right! My "babies" went from diapers to
teens in a blink!
JoAnn W. I tell my own kids that! It's perfect advice. (And
smiling is important...I've even been known to fake a few
until a real one comes along!)
Jennifer B. Good advice. My dad always told me to go to
school and be able to pay my own bills, because he never
wanted me to ever have to rely on a guy.
May P. No parent is perfect, but if they made you feel
loved, that really is one of the most important
accomplishments p
(Elizabeth Seckman 9:01pm May 17, 2013)
It is always difficult to please anyone other than yourself especially when it comes to family.
(Kai Wong 10:30pm May 17, 2013)
my grandparents on both sides died before i was born so i
never know them.i will be 40 next moth with a teen daughter
and a 10 year old daughter i tell them to live their lives
and dont look back i wouldnt want them to say to themselves
"if I" i still remember them being born like it was
yesterday time gos by so fast
(Denise Smith 12:37pm May 18, 2013)
When I was married I devoted my entire life to my husband
and our son. When we divorced, I was so lost because I had
lost contact with most of my friends. I will never be in a
relationship again where we don't both have enough trust to
have our friend time. I think it would make the together
time even stronger.
(Sandie White 1:18am May 18, 2013)
My grandmother taught me that it is not always necessary to speak to be heard, that the actions are the loudest words. She taught me to be caring and what unconditional love is. Nanny's love overlooked all mistakes and imperfections and that made her PERFECT!
(Tracie Travis 2:50am May 18, 2013)
I have learned that life just rushes by before you know it, so
enjoy!!
(Mary Preston 5:44am May 18, 2013)
The greatest lessons I have learned from my grandmothers really relate to finding my own identity and not mold myself around a man. That was the generation they grew up in, so I think they missed out a lot of the growing up and exploring time women have today.
(Pam Howell 8:31am May 18, 2013)
Enjoy life and do unto others what you would want done to you.
(Bonnie Capuano 9:24am May 18, 2013)
Appreciate your life and work hard, since you are responsible
for the outcome.
(Sharon Berger 9:29am May 18, 2013)
My dad taught me many things but the best was as he was dying
of cancer. He never wanted to tell anyone that he was ill,
just that he'd been thinking of them and wanted to stop in and
see them. He lived the best 6 months of his life as he was
dying. Then God took him home to be with the angels.
(Mary Hay 11:18am May 18, 2013)
One of the biggest things I have learned in life is to love. Love brings so much to ones life.
(Lisa Fitzgibbons 11:29am May 18, 2013)
I learned there will always be terrible things in your life but you must never
give up things might not get better but you still have to try to make life what
you need to survive
(Ava Curtis 2:54pm May 18, 2013)
One of life's lessons taught to me by my mother was to be a good friend and a great mom to my children. I have a lot of friends and some that I have had for 65 years, so I guess I did what I was told. My children live within minutes of us, and I am very close with our daughter, especially and our grandchildren spend some part of each day with us too, so my mother would be very very proud of this if she were here to see how I managed to accomplish what she felt was something very important in life-family and friends equal love and happiness. And they really do!!!!
(Cynthia Blain 4:56pm May 18, 2013)
Love yourself and those around you unconditionally. We are all imperfect and some days we just need a little leeway
(Janis Milford 9:28pm May 18, 2013)
Yes, my Grandma and Grandpa were married a long time and
very wise and always teaching me too. Grandpa used to say:
if you see something that needs to be done; you just do it
and don't ask. Always, work hard and treat others like you
want to be treated nice in life. Help others always. I miss
them and love them so much. Thanks for the fantastic
memories and great contest. Thanks, Cecilia CECE
(Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 10:53pm May 18, 2013)
set goals and mark off each accomplishment as you complete it one step at a time and you will realize your dreams.
(Darci Paice 11:52pm May 18, 2013)
I learned many things but mainly I would say that if I put my mind to something and work hard at it, I will get to be very good at it and succeed in what I want. However other people's input cannot be taken for granted, and may in fact cause inertia or lack of opportunity. At that point, I need to change my methods to succeed.
I saw this encapsulated recently in a slogan - If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got.
(Clare O'Beara 7:02am May 19, 2013)
Time rushes away from you. Try to do things you really want/are important
to you ASAP. L
(Penny Mettert 7:18pm May 20, 2013)
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