Interview with Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays

It’s hard to believe that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. I know this because my sons have been conspiring not-so-secretly as to the perfect gift. Jewelry? (Dad says she has too much.) A new CD? (Think she’ll like my favorite rapper?) Maybe dinner at her favorite restaurant? (Doesn’t she always say pancakes are just fine?)

Little do they know that my favorite gifts from years past are hidden in a secret drawer which I visit from time to time. Truly, it’s the macaroni necklace that brings tears of joy to my eyes. And don’t forget the love note with lots of misspellings which often makes my heart skip a beat. These are the gifts I will always treasure. Don’t we all know…life goes by way too fast.

It only seems fitting that Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays stop by and chat with us this month. Their latest release, SOME DAY YOU’LL THANK ME FOR THIS…The Official Southern Ladies’ Guide to Being a “Perfect” Mother is full of hilarious anecdotes every mother must read. Whether you live north or south of the Mason Dixon Line, it doesn’t matter. This book is for everyone.

As part of the column, Hyperion Books has generously donated five copies for you, my lucky readers, to win. So, don’t forget to look for the trivia question at the end. And as always, thanks for making Jen’s Jewels a part of your reading adventure.

Jen: I think it would be fair to say that you two talented ladies epitomize the true meaning of the term “Southern belles”. So that my readers may get a better understanding of the women behind these delightful books, please, as Southerners would say, “tell us where you’re from and who your people are.”

Gayden: I’m not sure I qualify for a belle at this tender age. But, I am alive and well as something here in the Mississippi Delta (with my people). At best, we’re elder belles—bellelders!

Charlotte: Gayden epitomizes the belle. I’d love to be one, but I’m just not. My wonderful mother was (as was Gayden’s very dear mother). I think Mama’s last words on her death bed may have been, “And my stag line stretched around the ballroom floor.” That is the belle.

Jen: As far as your educational and professional background, how did it prepare each of you for a career in publishing?

Gayden: My Mama and my life in the Delta prepared me as much as anything… besides alcohol.

Charlotte: I like to describe myself as a recovering gossip columnist. Gossip is a trade I learned at my mother’s knee. Also, Greenville has a literary history, and I think we all grew up with the notion that you could become a writer. Gayden and I were good friends of Kate Keating, a talented contemporary who died very young. Her father was Bern Keating, and we knew that Bern—or Mr. Keating, as we then said—earned his living by writing. I always loved to read and wanted to be a writer.

Jen: In terms of collaboration, how did the idea of teaming up to write these delightful books come to fruition? (I’ve read all three and love them!)

Gayden: I could never have done these books without Charlotte. I might remember a story or two that she doesn’t but as far as the writing is concerned… it’s all Charlotte.

Charlotte: It was totally Gayden’s idea. She called me with the idea for Being Dead. I knew it was a brilliant idea, but I felt I had a plate full. Fortunately, I mentioned Gayden’s idea to a friend of mine, Sandra McElwaine, who currently writes for The Daily Beast and other outlets, and she mentioned it to Susan Mercandeti, who was then at Miramax. To make a long story short, Gayden and I went to New York and pitched the idea at Miramax. They bought it. We couldn’t believe it. We worked with e-mail. We could never have done our books if there were no such thing as e-mail.

Jen: Your latest release, which is a lovely gift for Mother’s Day, is entitled SOME DAY YOU’LL THANK ME FOR THIS The official Southern Ladies’ Guide to Being a “Perfect” Mother. How did you arrive at the premise?

Gayden: My Mother constantly reminded me, “You’ll thank me for this.” Yes, when she was switching the backs of my legs. And another, “You’ll miss me when I’m gone.” She was right one more time!

Charlotte: Lordy, I also heard, “You’ll thank me for this” from my mother. Odd, I never expected to find out how right she was.

Jen: Since you do not live in the same part of the country, how does the actual writing process take place?

Gayden: Well, these books jerked us right into the twenty-first century. We learned a lot quickly about the computer world as opposed to Ma’Bell. We e- mail constantly.

Charlotte: Yes, the wonders of modern technology!

Jen: The book is divided into seven chapters. Although in my opinion, it feels more like seven hysterical vignettes woven together by one common thread… motherhood. A question I just have to ask. Are the women you depict in these tales actually real people? And if so, how did they feel about being mentioned in the book? (Most of these stories are absolutely laugh-out-loud funny! Others are very endearing.)

Gayden: Thank the Lord, we altered most of the names…just enough. But they know who they are! It’s the people we left out that really complain.

Charlotte: When the first book came out, Gayden sent an advance reading copy to Shelby Foote. He asked why we changed some names and not others. We explained that, if you’d given us a recipe, we didn’t change your name. But, if you’d done something socially awkward, such as hacking your mother to death with the garden shears, we did. Yes, these people are all real. We often have people tell us they know them—if not the very same people, the very same types.

Jen: At times, I found myself underlining some very useful etiquette tips. (My own mother will be so proud.) Let’s take one example from the book. Why should one never reply to a formal invitation in blue ink?

Gayden: Blue ink. Why in the world would you not use black?

Charlotte: Blue ink on a formal invitation! It just isn’t right. My mother talked about an otherwise perfect cousin who did this for years on end. You can use blue ink for many things, but not a formal reply. The rule is “reply in kind.” I suppose if—God forbid!—you received a formal invitation with blue ink, you should reply in blue ink. Please, I hope I don’t live long enough to see this!

Jen: I especially liked the comments by Gayden’s nephew, Hugh Dickson Gayden Miller, peppered throughout the book. I had to chuckle when he mentioned the one about having to clean up before the housekeeper’s arrival lest she would quit if it were known how messy things could be! How did Dickson become involved with this project?

Gayden: He offered and of course, I remember my Mother saying, “Ask a lazy person to do something and they will find an easy way. I was lucky that my nephew expressed an interest. He has the gift of gab. I think he is very talented…and funny!

Charlotte: Dickson became involved because he is brilliant—and we adore him. And, as Gayden says….

Jen: Besides the wonderful stories throughout the book, each chapter contains to-die-for Southern recipes. Have you tested each one? And if so, which is your personal favorite and why? Gayden: Being a Delta person, I must say the tomato aspic is absolutely to die for (don’t forget BEING DEAD IS NO EXCUSE)

Charlotte: Gayden’s husband, Harley, deserves a medal for all the pimiento cheese he ate when Gayden was testing recipes. She tested them, I don’t cook.

Jen: In fifteen words or less, what’s your definition of the perfect Southern mother?

Gayden: The perfect southern mother worships kindness and good manners and is determined to hand on her religion. (Also, if you ask her to say something in 15 words, she takes 17, if not a book!)

Charlotte: She loves you dearly and devotes her life to ensuring that you never sit on a strange commode seat.

Jen: What’s next on your agenda? Are you at work on your fourth guide? And if so, what can you share about it with my readers?

Gayden: A brief rest.

Charlotte: Ditto.

Jen: Well deserved! Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy touring schedule to stop by and chat with my readers. It has been such a pleasure getting to know both of you! Best of luck with your book!

Gayden and Charlotte: Thank you!

I hope you have enjoyed my interview with the ladies. Please stop by your favorite bookstore or library branch and pick up a copy of SOME DAY YOU’LL THANK ME FOR THIS The official Southern Ladies’ Guide to Being a “Perfect” Mother today.

Better yet, would you like to win one? Answer the following trivia question and you could be ONE of FIVE winners.

Who is Harley?

Next time, I will be bringing to you my interview with Nicole Seitz, South Carolinian low-country author and artist. You won’t want to miss it.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Jen