Jayne Fresina | How To Ruin A Dinner Party (And Scare Off The Wrong Man)
In ONCE UPON A KISS,
Justina (Jussy) Penny knows that the last sort of man she would ever fall in
love with is anyone remotely like the character of Mr. Darcy from Pride and
Prejudice. When Darius Wainwright comes to her village with his arrogant
nose in the air and an apparent stick up his posterior, she's certain he is
absolutely the Wrong Man for her.
So when the obnoxiously proud fellow condescends to join her humble family for
dinner one evening, she knows just what to do to keep him at arm's length. Or so
she thinks.
1. Wear something... unusual.โThere you are, Jussy,โ her father exclaimed and then immediately looked
confused. Her mother, who had been in the process of offering a tray with a
sherry glass to the rector, was frowning, frozen in place.The Wainwright person, seated on the couch beside her sister, winced in her
direction and kept his lips very tight.โGood evening, everyone,โ she said politely. โOh, good! Sherry. Iโm fair
parched.โAs she advanced with arm outstretched, her mother swiftly moved the tray out
of her reach and set it on the pianoforte, forgetting the rector, who was left
clutching at the air. โWhat on earth have you got on your head, Justina?โ she
hissed under her breath.โWhy, they are butterflies, Mama, canโt you see?โโI can see, young lady, that they are from your fatherโs collection. What
are those wretched insects doing in your hair?โJustina blinked. โYou told me to do something with it.โ Then with a wide
smile, she moved away from her furious mother. โMr. Kenton, how lovely it is to
have your company this evening.โThe rector stared at the precariously tilting arrangement of curls and
colorful dead butterflies careening around her head. โYes, quite.โAcross the room Wainwright jerked upright, belatedly remembering his
manners. โMiss Justina Penny. Good evening.โโMr. Wainwright.โ She kept her smile pasted to her face and returned her
attention to the rector.2. Be sure to insult the guest's relatives.When her father asked what it was he sought among his great-uncleโs things,
Darius managed to reply in a voice that was almost calm, โA document of value,
Dr. Penny.โโItโs a map to a buried treasure chest,โ the girl across the table
exclaimed, eyes shining. โFull of gold doubloons. From old Hawkeโs misspent
youth as a pirate and a smuggler.โShort silence followed this, everyone looking expectantly in his direction.
She reached for her wine and smiled smugly, leaving him to continue the story
and probably expecting him to drop the ball sheโd tossed.โNot pirate gold,โ Darius replied. โThat would be mundane in comparison to
the truth.โShe shrugged, her sparkling gaze turned away from him.Darius did not care to be dismissed by this girl with an insolent face and
dead insects in her hair. โAs a matter of fact you were closer to the truth with
one of your earlier guesses, Miss Justina.โAha. That got her attention!She set her glass down. โI was?โโI seek a parcel of letters written to a lady.โ He dabbed his lips on a
napkin. Still with the weight of every eye upon him, he continued in a low
voice.โPhineas Hawke apparently had a secret love, and he left her a provision in
his will.โโGoodness gracious!โ Mrs. Penny almost dropped her spoon in her soup.โWho was she?โ her eldest daughter enquired in similar amazement. โA local
lady?โDarius thought for a moment and then replied, โI know not. Unfortunately, my
great-uncle referred to her in his will only by aโฆpet name he had for her.โโA pet name? Fancy! And all this time we all thought he was such a miserable
old fellow.โ Mrs. Penny laid a hand to her cheek. โOh, I did not mean he was so
very bad, Mr. Wainwright.โโHe was a mean old devil,โ her youngest daughter exclaimed with great
energy. โI will not pretend he was anything else, even if Mr. Wainwright is his
great-nephew.โDarius watched her splashing her spoon around in her soup, but he knew heโd
caught her interest when she added, โWell, go on then. Tell us the rest of it.
Did he throttle her because she did not return his love? Did he stab her through
the heart with a hat pin? Now he means to make amends and absolve himself of the
crime by leaving money to her heirs, no doubt.โHe quickly hid the hapless tremors of a smile in his napkin.โJustina!โ her mother protested. โThe stories she tells, Mr. Wainwright,
would curl your toes. Please forgive my youngest, sir. She is dreadfully
outspoken and nothing we can do seems to curb her. I shall never forget the
timeโโโMama, there is no need to talk about me as if Iโm not present.โ She
twitched irritably and a butterfly dropped on the end of a springy curl to hover
by her cheek. One more bounce and it would be in her soup.โRest assured, Miss Justina,โ Darius muttered, โyour presence could never go
unnoticed.โ
And finally...
3. Let one's mother lead the conversation.โDo you know the admiral, Mr. Wainwright?โ their mother interrupted. โHe is
a very fine, very particular gentleman, despite being a naval man. Dr. Penny is
often called up to Lark Hollow to tend his health. Admiral Vyne has great
respect for my husbandโs skill and wonโt have any other man of medicine in his
house.โJustina and Catherine exchanged glances, both cringing at their motherโs
unsubtle attempts to portray the family as one of consequence in the
neighborhood. Any moment now, thought Justina, she will mention her grandmamaโs
tenuous connection to the Blundesons of Stoke.โNo, I am not acquainted with the admiral,โ Wainwright replied as soon as he
could get a word in.Their mother considered alternatives for a moment and Justina cringed in
expectation of the worst.โPork!โ was the word that shot forth. โYou must talk to us of pork, Mr.
Wainwright.โThere was silence while the gentleman froze with his spoon halfway to his
lips.She turned to Mr. Kenton and explained, โMr. Wainwright is an expert on the
subject.โโIs that so?โ The rector smiled and looked expectantly at Wainwright, whose
expression was a priceless combination of horror and confusion.Justina feared she might explode with laughter and have wine come out of her
nose. But fortunately, having paused a sufficient time and found her guest
unprepared to discuss pork, Mrs. Penny, who never liked silence at her dinner
parties, forged in a new direction.โPerhaps you know of the Blundesons of Stoke, Mr. Wainwright?โ
So there you have itโ Miss Justina Penny's guide to handling the Wrong Man at a
dinner party. Although the result might not turn out to be quite what she expected!
What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you at a dinner party?
What a wonderful book! Thanks for sharing the humorous excerpts. The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me at a dinner party is spilling a glass of wine. (Bonnie H 9:52pm June 17, 2014)
It was on my birthday and I had 3 Dinner dates.. My mother thought it would be fun to "teach me a lesson" and had all 3 show up when I was to go on the first dinner date. Which was only suppose to be for half an hour. Here I was with 3 guys ready to go for a night on the town.. Needless to say I never told my mother about multiple date nights again. (Tina Ullrich 1:05am June 25, 2014)
Love the book and I enjoy series books so I will be getting this series. Thank you (Tina Ullrich 1:06am June 25, 2014)
Most embarrassing thing? My partial plate fell out. Oh yes. (Lisa Hutson 1:08am June 25, 2014)
thank you for chance (Katarzyna Keen 10:26am June 25, 2014)
My Brother-in-Law made his kids sit at the table, until they finished everything on their plate. I felt bad for the kids, because the food wasn't anything special, and as I recall, there were capers on part of the food, which I don't really care for myself. I really enjoyed the excerpt to your book, and am looking forward to reading the rest of it!! (Peggy Roberson 10:57am June 25, 2014)
Love the comedy of your character. Haven't had any truly embarrassing dinner party moments. Thankfully. (Pam Howell 11:13am June 25, 2014)
Thanks for the preview. My most embarrassing moment was when at a party is when I leaned over the table to pick something up and my hair caught on fire from the candles that were lit as a table centerpiece. :( (Quina B 1:00pm June 25, 2014)
Sounds like a great story - and lots of fun. As for an embarrassing moment at a dinner party - I'm very lucky (so far) to not have any such tales to tell. (Nancy Reynolds 1:49pm June 25, 2014)
Sounds good. Never been to a dinner party. One embarrassing moment was when I went to a convenience store downtown near the library. The cappuccino machine wasn't working so I had to get regular coffee. I must not have been thinking because I didn't use the carafe but tried to fill my cup by pressing the button on the machine, which then overflowed my cup. Lack of sleep may be another excuse for that and I don't normally get regular coffee away from home. Haven't set foot inside that store again, but by now they may have forgotten me. (Michelle Fidler 5:10pm June 25, 2014)
Thanks everyone for stopping by to read and comment! I think probably my most embarrassing memories are of being shouted at for sipping my soup too loudly at a family wedding when I was about twelve. Oh, and also for spooning the soup from the wrong side of the bowl! (Jayne Fresina 6:17pm June 25, 2014)
Not remembering what utensils I was suppose to be using for which dishes. I felt so silly :P (Aimee Robison 6:31pm June 25, 2014)
I think probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened at a dinner party was coming out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my foot. I can't wait to read your book, it sounds like a keeper. (Val Pearson 8:36pm June 25, 2014)
The only thing I can remember right off hand is that I had a cherry tomato spritz me and someone else when I tried to cut it. (Janie McGaugh 8:55pm June 25, 2014)
Loving these excerpts!
Does a dinner with the boyfriend's boss and his wife count as a dinner party? Ex-bf was trying VERY hard to be sophisticated and impressive - ended up being a total jerk and insulting boss's wife. (Glenda Martillotti 10:03pm June 25, 2014)
Congratulations on your book I'm looking forward to reading it. The most embarrassing thing for me at a dinner party would be at a party for a rock band my husband use to work for every one was standing around talking before dinner and my husband gave me his glass of wine and went to the rest room and some reporter was going around talking to the guess and came up to me saying man you like to drink don't you? I just smiled at him but I was so embarrass. Penney (Penney Wilfort 9:19am June 26, 2014)
Everything but the main course turned out. The reason? I forgot to turn on the oven! (Deborah Nagy 9:20am June 26, 2014)
LOL! Loving all these stories. It's good that we can laugh about them later. As my Nan used to say, "What doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger!" (Jayne Fresina 10:56am June 26, 2014)
i really had never had a Ruin A Dinner Party but i am enjoying reading everyones stories on here (Denise Smith 11:33am June 26, 2014)
probably when something struck me so funny that I was laughing so hard I couldn't speak - and I'd only had one Margaritta. (Diane Sallans 11:51am June 26, 2014)
love to read your book.always embarrassed to laugh at a silly joke (Jean Benedict 11:54am June 26, 2014)
On my 21st birthday I bumped into the waiter and knocked over the platter full of soup. Everyone was ok but I will never forget it. (Denise Austin 6:27pm June 26, 2014)
I love the humor in this story!
Well, I fell off my chair once. LOL (Marcy Shuler 10:38pm June 26, 2014)
As a little kid I was allowed to cut my birthday cake for the first time. I gave the small pieces to the uncles and huge pieces to the aunts. (Laura Gullickson 10:57pm June 26, 2014)
During one family dinner (Mom, Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins) my Mother decided we needed some wine with the conversation so off to the basement I go for a bottle of Daddy's homemade blackberry wine. Impatient man that he was he tended to bottle the wine before he should and as I was climbing the stairs I failed to notice the cork slowly inching its way skyward. I handed the bottle to my husband to uncork. No need. The cork exited the bottle on its own followed by a beautiful ruby red geyser of blackberry wine bathing my back (and new shirt) on its way toward the ceiling as my Aunt was muttering under her breath, "Devil's brew, Devil's brew". Mama didn't offer wine anymore. (Debbie Kelly 6:28pm June 28, 2014)
You can learn a lot about the inner workings of a family by sitting at a table and seeing who is allowed to say what and which topics are out of bounds. (Alyson Widen 1:39pm June 29, 2014)
© 2003-2026