Sheila Roberts | Resolutions I'm Not Going To Keep

Every year it’s the same old, same old. I resolve to eat less and exercise more,
manage my time better, get organized, be a better wife, mother, friend, and
person. Be noble, and never get grumpy or lose my temper. In short, be perfect.
This year I got in touch with my inner Doctor Phil and asked myself, "How’s that
workin’ for ya?"

Well, in spite of my resolutions, my caboose has gotten big enough that every
kid in the neighborhood could ride on it - at the same time. I’ve lost many an
hour of productivity to Facebook and Twitter. (So why I still can’t figure out
how to post pictures on my Facebook fan page or decipher half of the shorthand I
read on Twitter is a mystery to me.) My daughter complains that she has to
check my FB page to see what I’m doing and as for the better wife goal, let’s
just say that it’s a good thing my poor husband Gerhardt is longsuffering.

So, in light of all that, what are my resolutions for the New Year?

1. Buy bigger clothes. That way I can eat and not feel guilty. And I’ll remind
my husband that these days a lot of men like women with junk in the trunk.
Gerhardt needs to keep up on trends.

2. Redefine what it means to "get things done." Social networking counts as
doing something. Right? Well, okay then. Remind me to tweet about that in the
New Year!

3. Enjoy my empty nest guilt free. My kids can always follow me on Twitter,
right? (Maybe they can also explain to me how to put pictures up on my Facebook
fan page.)

4. Let chaos reign. After all, isn’t that a sign of a creative mind? Getting
organized would only deprive me of bonding time spent with Gerhardt searching my
office for lost receipts, articles and other important bits of information.

5. Express myself. Okay, so I get a little grumpy or sometimes lose my temper.
This can actually be good for my marriage. It will give my husband an
opportunity to practice patience.

6. Place reasonable limits on nobility. Share the last piece of chocolate cake?
I mean, come on. I have to maintain my caboose somehow. Okay, one bite. I can
probably manage to be that noble. All right, two, but that’s as high as I’m going.

7. Be myself. (And hope none of my family or friends murders me.) Why work on
being perfect when my nearest and dearest love me just the way I am?

8. No resolutions. This one I’m serious about! This time around I’m simply going
into the New Year grateful to God for the wonderful year I just had and
anticipating new adventures, new friends, and new opportunities to learn and
grow. Now, that’s not a bad way to begin a new year. I’ll drink to that. Where’s
the eggnog?