Cynthia Sax | Letting Go

When do you let go of love? When your loved one has sex with another person?
Moves in with her/him? Marries your rival? Has a baby with her/him? At what
point do you say ‘I have to let him/her go, move on, allow this love to fade?’

SINFUL REWARDS is a love triangle. Bee, an exhibitionist heroine, is torn between a billionaire with a dark secret and a bad boy biker. In SINFUL REWARDS 7, Bee has sex with one of these hunky men. Does this mean she won’t find happiness with the other hero? If you asked me this at the end of that story, I would have said ‘Yes, she’s chosen her man. There’s no going back. She’s fully committed.’ While writing SINFUL REWARDS 8, I began to have doubts.

The man Bee didn’t have sex with won’t let her go. He pursues her, tells her
that what she did last night is history, forgotten. They can start again, save
their relationship. He hasn’t reached the point where he’ll walk away from her.

Bee is aware of this. She knows that door hasn’t been closed, permanently
locked. Yes, she believes she has made her choice but, in the back of her mind,
she realizes both of the men continue to be options. She can change her decision.

I’ve only been in love with one man, my dear wonderful hubby. If he hadn’t loved
me back, had begun dating another person (ouch), I might have let him go but I
doubt I would have ever gotten over him. I would have always had hope that he’d
come back to me. (This is all a guess. I don’t know how I truly would have
reacted. Maybe I would have turned stalker on him. Who knows?)

When I was in ‘like’ with the previous guys I dated, I walked away from them
when they started dating someone new. That was my line in the sand. I didn’t
want to interfere with their relationships with these other women, to be the
reason it didn’t work out between them. I waited for a few men, knowing the
women were all wrong for them and their relationships wouldn’t last, but I
didn’t try to speed the process or otherwise mess with their relationships.

Have you ever let go of love? At what point did you walk away, deciding it
wasn’t meant to be?

Excerpt from SINFUL REWARDS 8

“Don’t leave the club until I get there,” Hawke answers on the
second ring,
sounding as unhappy as I feel.

“Will that be soon?” I sink into one of Nicolas’s guest chairs, the seat
deliciously soft and welcoming, tempting me to stay in this office forever.
“Because I don’t like it here,” I whisper, covering my lips with my hand.

“Did you see something that made you uncomfortable?” Hawke’s voice roughens.

“I can’t see anything at all,” I confess. “It must be supermodels-drink-free
night. Everyone is abnormally tall.”

This doesn’t draw the expected chuckle. My military man is unnervingly serious.
“Is that all?”

“No.” I prop my aching foot on the other guest chair. My beautiful Louboutins
are scuffed. I rub the dirt off the black leather. “Someone stomped on my foot,
the one with the damaged toenail. I’ll lose it for certain now, and then I won’t
be able to wear sandals for the rest of the summer.”

There’s a pause and I realize what I’ve done. I’m whiny about losing toenails
and he’s dealing with one of his life-threatening FUBAR situations.

“Are you safe?” I press the cool phone case against my heated skin. “Do you need
help? I can borrow a laptop or tablet from Nicolas and look at surveillance
footage for you.” I wouldn’t ever have to leave the office.

“Nicolas has done enough for one night.” Hawke is angry and I don’t know why.
“You were the center of attention. Everyone was watching you.”

What the hell did Mack tell him?

“It wasn’t a sexy type of attention,” I explain. “They were judging Cyndi and me
harshly. Angel made a scene. I tried to run, but Nicolas wouldn’t allow me to
escape.” I take a deep breath, dreading my military man’s reaction to the rest
of the story. “He offered me a billion dollars to have sex with him.”

“And you refused because you’re not that type of girl,” Hawke replies. He hasn’t
called me love or sweetheart, not once during our conversation. I’m the person
he’s furious with, and I don’t know how to fix us.

“That’s not why I refused.” I’m a pervert. If Hawke had offered me a billion
dollars, I would have taken it, been his prostitute for the evening.

But we won’t ever play those kinky games. He doesn’t have any money to spare.

Hawke sighs. “I’ll get there as soon as I can, Belinda.” He ends the call
without uttering another word.

I stare at the screen. Hawke didn’t tell me to call if I needed him.

Because he no longer cares.

Book Buzz

"Ms. Sax's writing is positively incandescent, luminous and so eloquent in SINFUL REWARDS 8, that I found myself even more engrossed in the characters' lives than ever before." ~Fresh Fiction reviewer Monique Daoust Read our full review here.

About SINFUL REWARDS 8

Bee Carter is no longer torn between her handsome billionaire and her tattooed
bad-boy biker. After enjoying mind-melting, world-tilting sex and experiencing
the pleasure of waking in her man's arms, she has finally made her choice.

Or has she?

A violent early morning confrontation pits biker against billionaire and results
in a shocking proposal: the discarded man is willing to overlook Bee's wild
night with his rival in order to win her love. He will sacrifice his pride, his
heart, and everything he holds dear to have her.

Bee is unmoved by the offer … until the man she's chosen encourages her to accept.

Now Bee is yet again faced with an impossible decision: Does she pursue the man
she craves, who has rejected her love, or does she settle for the man who will
do anything for her?

About Cynthia Sax

Cynthia Sax lives in a world filled with magic and romance. Although her heroes may not always say “I love you,” they will do anything for the women they adore. They live passionately. They play hard. They love the same women forever. Cynthia has loved the same wonderful man forever. Her supportive hubby offers himself up to the joys and pains of research, while they travel the world together, meeting fascinating people and finding inspiration in exotic places such as Istanbul, Bali, and Chicago. Please visit her online at her website.