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Jeanette Murray | Long Distance Romance
July 18, 2013
In THE OFFICER AND THE
SECRET, Dwayne and Veronica first meet when Dwayne arrives home from a
rougher than expected deployment. But it's not the first time they've laid eyes
on each other. They struck up a Skype-friendship while he was still in
Afghanistan. She was, without even knowing it, his port in the storm while he
was thousands of miles away. Though it was just a friendship at that point, I can easily relate to their long
distance nature. Keeping the spark alive from thousands of miles away is
intense, at times. Even for more laid back marriages like mine. But here are a
few things that really kept us going... 1. Talking about the little things. To me, it didn't seem to matter that the car
got a flat. I managed to get it fixed, so who cared? But Hubs wanted to know. It
was important to him. So, I would tell him, even if I thought it was
insignificant. 2. Do what you can to get visual contact. Skype, FaceTime, or even just taking
photos and texting them to each other can make the distance momentarily
evaporate. 3. Care packages are a must for the deployed military member. But for Hubs? The
goofier and more random, the better. He was always half-wary, half-excited to
get my packages. When he's side-eyeing my gifts, I know I'm keeping him on his
toes. ;) Do you guys have any good suggestions on keeping the long distance interest
flowing?
Comments
27 comments posted.
Re: Jeanette Murray | Long Distance Romance
I think there needs to be some mystery. If you can surprise
him/her occasionally, it let's them know that thought and love
went into it.
(Sandie White 12:06pm July 19, 2013)
A friend of mine once told me that to keep the relationship fresh, there has to be mystery. If you're an open book, the relationship will frizzle. A relationship is a balance of being mysterious and being truthful.
(Kai Wong 12:38pm July 19, 2013)
being truthful to each other is the key and honesty is the
best way. also doing things together suprising each others
also
(Denise Smith 12:41pm July 19, 2013)
Journaling important of interesting things the kids do, putting a few pics in an envelope, when you have time together just making the most of it.
(Darci Paice 12:58pm July 19, 2013)
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Also,
stay positive. Thanks for the giveaway!!!
(Linda Brennan 1:01am July 19, 2013)
I am reading the comments because my long distant relationship didn't make it. But, then I wouldn't have my wonderful hubby.
(Kathleen Yohanna 4:43am July 19, 2013)
Skype really is the best for long distances. But sometimes an old fashioned note or card in the mail really brings a smile to the other person's day.
(Pam Howell 8:49am July 19, 2013)
If you know of someone who knits, they can always use hoods to wear under their helmets when the weather gets cold, as well as other items. It's a good idea to ask them if there's anything they can use, and send it along. It shows that you care about them. Just sending cookies and things like that is fine, but personal items are nicer.
(Peggy Roberson 8:51am July 19, 2013)
The wonders of modern technology are amazing for keeping in
touch. However, there's nothing like getting a handwritten
letter or gift in the mail.
(Deidre Durance 9:50am July 19, 2013)
I note sent in the mail just to let them know you are thinking of them. The noter gives them something to hold.
(Patricia Wagner 10:32am July 19, 2013)
I'm lucky because I've never had to deal long distance. I would think the occasional surprise gift in the mail - or a "real" letter, handwritten, sharing your thoughts. Your book sounds great. Thanks for the chance to win. Best of luck with it.
(Nancy Reynolds 11:57am July 19, 2013)
I have not had any experience with long distance relationships... love the cover for your book! ;)
(Colleen Conklin 1:16pm July 19, 2013)
Yes, mystery and gifts are great for long distance
relationships but always remember each day to say: I Love
You to your spouse and family and friends too. Keep them on
their toes with Poetry and cards and gifts a bunch. You can
send them books too. Congrats on your new book: THE OFFICER
AND THE SECRET. It sounds like a winner and a great mystery
too and I would love to win it and read it this summer.
Thank You, Cecilia CECE
(Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 1:44pm July 19, 2013)
If a long distant romance dosn't work, it wasn't worth the try.
(Sheila True 1:59pm July 19, 2013)
Silly and random is a great idea. To show where you've been that day take extreme close ups and see if they can guess where they are taken. See if they recognize the ceiling, floor, someone's arm, furniture, or the food that you are eating.
(Laura Gullickson 2:07pm July 19, 2013)
Sounds really good.
(Susie Kerner 3:03pm July 19, 2013)
My ex was a submarine sailor. And yes he is now my ex but
while he served and we were married we would communicate via
Skype when we could. Hot letters and goodies from home were
sent often. It takes a special kind of love to make it long
distance. Ours didn't make it but I've seen it done.
(Donna Antonio 3:32pm July 19, 2013)
Hubby was in the marines and letters kept us connected as
when he was in they didn't have internet access (if they did
it was limited) and there was no such thing as skype lol. I
got to do a video conference though his squadron when he was
deployed it was super nice and our son loved it. He spent
almost two years on Mt Fuji and he did have internet and we
webcam chatted at least 3 times a week. but I would send him
emails (call him every other) even if there wasn't anything
new he liked knowing. I sent boxes full of random things he
really likes snoopy and garfield so i would get the little
stuffed snoopy's and garfield from hallmark every holiday
and send him them with goodies from home, pictures, letters
(we still wrote letters and cards) even though email was
there because sometimes it is easier to express yourself
with writing in your own hand vs the computer font :). I
also sent him dvd's of home video's from everything from our
son jumping on the bed,cook outs with friends, birthdays,
christmas, random i love yous (the little things he missed i
had recorded so he could see them too)... He got out in 2008
after serving 8 years... Can't tell you how much easier it
is to keep in contact thoughout deployments. When he first
got it i remember checking the mail for a letter, because he
had told me in his last one he would be sending more in a
few days ;) I have every letter and card he ever sent me
though our 14 years together and 10 years of marriage. You
celebrate the big things but make sure to make the small
things matter also :)
(Jeannie Platt 4:02pm July 19, 2013)
Haven't read your books, but this one sounds so good, too good to miss!
(C Culp 4:06pm July 19, 2013)
For the first year my hubby and I were together we lived in different states and he travels for work. We are still together after 20 years. I have to say there are bumps.. but surprises are always good. After hearing the same old thing every time you talk it does get old but every once in a while some random comment would come from left field. a,b,c,d, I'm sliding my hand up my thigh and wishing it was you, e,f,g lol He would do the same to me but it would always get us going huh!?!?! If you do send pkgs slip in something little enough to carry in a pocket a ribbon you had worn and took a picture wearing. I always wonder if he knows how many times a day I thought about him especially when we were first together.
(Patti Paonessa 7:29pm July 19, 2013)
face time helps but here is far easier
(Debbi Shaw 9:41pm July 19, 2013)
I did meet a guy just before he went overseas to fight and he asked me to write him, so I did. There wasn't any cellphones or Skype back then. I also sent pictures and bake goods packed in popcorn. He said it was great and he and the guys also ate the popcorn. I still have the letters and pictures he sent me, though we never had a date.
Your The Officer And The Secret book sounds like a great read that I would love to win. Thank you for this chance to win it.
(Esther Somorai 9:42pm July 19, 2013)
Lots of letters & parcels for sure.
(Mary Preston 12:38pm July 20, 2013)
TRY TO KEEP UP WITH EACH OTHER WHEN YOU ARE APART.THANKS FOR THE GIVEAWAY!
(Shelley Summers 2:44am July 20, 2013)
Just making time for the little things you can share together. Send something silly that reminds you of him, regular calls and emails and face time when available.
(Marcy Shuler 12:52pm July 20, 2013)
I met my husband when he was in the Navy during Vietnam and he was serving on an aircraft carrier. Of course back in the 1960's they didn't have anything like Skyp so you could keep in touch so we knew when he left that corresponding wasn't going to be possible.
What helped to get us through that time was confidence in our love for each other and that nothing was more important than our trust and love in each other.
After he finished his duty during Vietnam he joined the Navy Reserves and was a "Week-end Warrior" until he retired. I had friends that would ask me how I got through his deployments especially when he was going into some area of unrest as well as putting himself in harms way. They asked when he was in foreign ports if I worried about him be faithful my I told them there was no doubt in my mind that our sons and myself were what was helping him get through all the danger he faced every time he left.
The most important thing is your commitment to each other and even if you couldn't keep in touch back then I knew that he worried about his family back home as much as I worried for him. Dedication to you're loved one will always make the time pass quicker and knowing that fortify your loved one and give him the best reason in the world to come home safely.
To all those serving today I wish them fair winds and following seas!
(Jeanne Miro 11:42pm July 20, 2013)
Good idea for a book, I read one about a milblogger and a journalist who were keeping in touch although they didn't know each other.
(Clare O'Beara 9:41am July 23, 2013)
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