Pamela Clare | How Should One Get To Happily Ever After?
March 1, 2010
If youâ€™re a single adult in the early 21st century, chances are youâ€™ve tried
some kind of online dating service. Hey, if I can admit to having tried it, you
You know the process--you sign up, answer a zillion really dumb questions about
your interests, inclinations and preferences. Then the computer plays cupid and
matches you up with potential dates whose answers most closely match your own.
Well, if finding your soul mate were that easy, thereâ€™d be significantly fewer
single people in the world and a lot more "happily ever afters," wouldnâ€™t there?
Besides, how exciting can it be going to dinner with someone who agrees with you
"You say potato; I say potato, too/You say tomato; I say tomato, too."
It doesnâ€™t even make a good song.
Maybe weâ€™ve got it backwards. Remember the old adage "Opposites attract"? Maybe
online dating services should get a clue from romantic fiction and bring people
together whose backgrounds, interests and preferences are very different.
Do opposites really attract?
For Kat James and Gabe Rossiter, the hero and heroine of Naked Edge, the next book
in my I-Team series, thatâ€™s certainly the case. Yes, heâ€™s male -- six-foot-four
of dark-haired, blue-eyed male, to be precise -- and sheâ€™s female. But itâ€™s more
Kat is Navajo. Gabe is white.
Kat is deeply spiritual. Gabe believes in nothing -- and no one.
Kat is saving her virginity for one man; she wants marriage and lots of
children. Gabe drifts from one emotionless sexual relationship to the next, with
no interest in being a husband or father.
Kat is thoughtful and a bit introverted. Gabeâ€™s idea of a good time is rock
climbing without ropes and skiing off cliffs.
Kat gives selflessly to her friends. Gabe has no close friends.
Deep down, Kat has an unshakable but quiet self-respect. She makes no apologies
for her choices in life. Gabe behaves as if heâ€™s the only center in his
universe, but in reality he canâ€™t stand himself.
These two never would have connected on Match.com or eHarmony.
But connect they do. When Kat is caught in a rockslide while hiking and is badly
injured, Gabe, a park ranger who just happens to be rock climbing nearby,
rushes to help her. This chance meeting, brought about by near tragedy, will
change their lives in ways neither of them can imagine. The result?
Tension? Yes. Misunderstandings? Some. But also heat. Passion. And a "happily
ever after" -- for both of them.
He saves her life; she saves the soul he didnâ€™t know he had.
One of the great pleasures of writing this story was watching two people--both
of whom had been deeply hurt--as they worked through differences to a deep and
abiding love. In fact, itâ€™s these differences that helped them to overcome the
past. Thatâ€™s something they never would have found with a partner who was their
I hope youâ€™ll enjoy reading Kat and Gabeâ€™s love story as much as I enjoyed
writing it. You can read more about it here on Fresh Fiction, including a look at the real
events in my own life that inspired the story, including a near-fatal mountain
In the meantime, what do you think? Do opposites truly attract? Should online
dating services start giving clients the option of being connected with people
who are their opposites?
Cat people dating dog people. Pepsi people dating Coke people. Single football
dads dating single soccer moms.
It might work.
18 comments posted.
Re: Pamela Clare | How Should One Get To Happily Ever After?
I was terribly shy but I married the most-popular, exrtroverted boy from our high school and it has worked out beautifully. He has got me out of some of my shyness and I am happy for that.
(Gladys Paradowski 4:17am March 1, 2010)
My husband and I have almost
nothing in common. We've been
married for 15 years. I don't
know if opposites attract but it
does make life more interesting.
(Tanja Haack 6:55am March 1, 2010)
I think you need some sameness, but it's true, opposites do attract. My Great-Grandparents always joked that when they went to vote, they cancelled each other out! ;)
(Kelli Jo Calvert 1:28pm March 1, 2010)
While opposites do attract I think the similarities need to outweigh this for a relationship to work well.
(Mary Preston 3:42pm March 1, 2010)
My husband and I have been together for 19 years but known each other since grade school thought I would never end up with a boy like that, but I did
(Missy Crace 4:47pm March 1, 2010)
Of course, I have already admitted that I am shy, but I would be a coward at signing up for an online dating service. It seems to me it would be so easy for anyone to give false answers to questions. But since you admitted doing so, did you meet anyone interesting?
(Gladys Paradowski 5:36pm March 1, 2010)
Funnily, my husband and I are terribly different. All of his family and friends were expecting him to marry a very different kind of woman. And yet for all of our differences, we simply prefer to be together.
(G. Bisbjerg 6:30pm March 1, 2010)
Yeah, me and my hubby are
fairly opposites. He's a
sports jock, which I couldn't
care less about. I carry a
book everywhere I go and he
hasn't cracked one in 35
(Lisa Richards 6:41pm March 1, 2010)
My husband and I have quite a few things in common but also have quite a few differences:he doesn't like reading books at all and I can't stop reading for example; but somehow we've made it together 31 years and still going strong.
(Diane Sadler 7:20pm March 1, 2010)
My DH and I are both similiar and opposites, -- both kinda shy and quiet, I am the one that likes football and most sports, him not so much, we both do read----me just at a much faster pace, he like horror in stories and movies which is sooooo NOT me, unless you are talking about vampires-- those I do like the scary kind of as well as the romanticized kind
(Kelly Holt 7:25pm March 1, 2010)
My husband and I started out as opposites but after 40+ years of marriage we are now clones of each other. Strange but true.
(Rosemary Krejsa 8:21pm March 1, 2010)
My husband and I have been through a lot of challenges in our marriage together, but they have only made us stronger. We are really compliment each other and get along really well. He was laid off one time for two years, we didn't fight, we were able to get through the time together stronger instead of letting it tear us apart!
(Brenda Rupp 9:24pm March 1, 2010)
Gladys, I'm so glad you found the right man for you. How fun that you turned out to be opposites in so many ways.
Reading through all of these posts I was amazed at the number of you who pointed out significant differences. :-)
(Pamela Clare 12:28pm March 2, 2010)
As you say, Tanja â€” it does make life more interesting. :-)
Kelli Jo, that's so funny! We have a fair amount of that vote canceling going on in my family. Pretty much my entire family, counting brothers, sister and my kids, cancels each other out. LOL!
(Pamela Clare 12:29pm March 2, 2010)
Mary, I agree that most couples need to agree on some of the most basic stuff -- how to raise kids, where to live, that kind of thing.
Hi, Missy Grace â€” Amazing that you've known your husband for that long! And funny that you thought you would never end up with a man like him. We never know where life will take us, do we?
Gladys, I didn't meet anyone even remotely interesting. It was a complete waste of time, in fact.
(Pamela Clare 12:32pm March 2, 2010)
G. Bisbjerg â€” What's most important is that you and your husband understand why you're together. Everyone else can go ahead and be confused. :-)
Lisa, that's so funny! I got a birthday card from a reader that had a cartoon of a husband and wife on the front. The wife asks the husband why he doesn't turn off the TV and read a book. And he answers, "Because I don't have to go to the bathroom now." LOL!!!
Diane, congratulations on those 31 years! That's a long time. Good for you! It sounds like you two balance each other out.
(Pamela Clare 12:35pm March 2, 2010)
Hi, Kelly â€”Â How fun that you're the one who likes football and sports. LOL! That's not something you hear about every day.
Rosemary, congratulations on 40+ years! That's extraordinary! I would imagine that being together over that length of time would change you both. Good for you!
Brenda, it sounds like you and your husband have a very strong marriage. So often we tear apart those closest to us when we're under stress rather than being there for each other. I'm glad you've been able to weather the tough times together. :-)
Thanks for your comments, everyone! Good luck in the contest. I can't wait to share NAKED EDGE with all of you!
(Pamela Clare 12:39pm March 2, 2010)
I think that couples have to share some core values. Other than that the minor likes and dislikes don't really matter. But then, I'm not married; I can only tell by the rest of my family. grin
(Sigrun Schulz 11:10pm March 6, 2010)
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