Jodie Andrefski | The Bad Boy Allure

There's something 'bout the bad boys that makes the good girls fall in love. ~ Zara Larsson It isn’t just Zara who sings about good girls falling for the wrong boys, we hear it all over the radio, we see it in books and movies, as well as every day in real life. In THE SOCIETY, Sam definitely found herself pulled toward a “bad boy.” He was hot, rode a motorcycle, and had that almost indefinable edge of danger about him from the first time they met. One sexy grin and she was hooked. So what exactly is the allure of bad boys that makes so many girls, especially teens, lose their heads and hearts chasing after them?

One surface answer might be that some girls love the bad boy image—that kind of
wild, devil-may-care attitude coupled with a sexy grin can leave a girl weak in
the knees. Most of us have been there at one time or another. I know I have,
especially as a teenager and in my early twenties. On one hand, you might have a
perfectly nice guy who your mother would adore, and on the other? The rebel
without a cause. How many of us didn’t choose door number two at least once in
our life? He’s so mysterious and enticing when our own life seems so pale and
boring by comparison.

Another reason for the pull to bad boys is the idea that we can “fix” them. It’s
like we see their flaws, we recognize them…but yet we somehow convince ourselves
that the love of a good woman will melt all of his jerk habits away. We try and
try and do all of the relationship work for both of us, then several good
fights, teary sessions, and a pint or two of Ben & Jerry’s later, it’s time
to face the truth…that it’s not our job to change anyone. And beyond that, we
can’t will a person to change anyway, no matter how much we want them to.

Some people fall for the bad boy because they don’t believe they deserve any better. And newsflash…this is a load of crap. Don’t listen to the voices in your head that ever try to convince you otherwise. We all deserve someone who rocks our world and thinks we are the coolest thing since Klondike Bars. Sometimes girls fall for the proverbial bad boy because they think it will make them popular to be seen with Mister McHottie. Sure, maybe this will work for a little bit, depending on what circles McHottie runs in…but is it worth the price? And are the people who accept or don’t accept you based on who you date really your friends in the first place?

The bottom line is, most of us have been there once or twice in our life. I get
it. He’s standing there, hair just a little too long, grin just the tiniest hint
too cocky, abs to die for. He probably plays guitar or rides a motorcycle, or if
you’re really in for the trifecta, he does both and recently got out of juvie.
He draws you in with those liquid eyes and your stomach drops and you’re
convinced you might seriously be the first person in the history of mankind to
literally melt into a puddle of goo just from a glance. But if sexy,
puddle-of-goo inducing smiles sent your way are where his contributions end,
throw up the red flags. Big, giant, circus-sized flags. And be honest with
yourself about what you’re really getting from him and the relationship.

The hottie bad boy can be fun…no argument there, just as long as he’s not also a
bad guy. Because when it’s time to get your heart involved? Keep in mind there
is a definite difference between a touch of bad boy image and a jerk who treats
women poorly. I say go for the geek with the heart of gold...especially if he
has just the right dash of bad thrown in to keep life interesting. But bad boys
on the pages of a fabulous romance novel? Definitely still fun to fall for.
After all, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little fantasy life. You
deserve it.