So youโve spent enough nights fantasizing about finding your own square jawed
and sexy cowboy to tame the bronco bucking inside your blue jeans. Youโve
finally made up your mind to get out there and snag one for yourself.
Itโs a no brainer at Starbucks on Saturday morning when you notice that the
low-fat latteโ drinker filling out his gym clothes puts his phone down when you
walk in the door. Easy enough. This is your domain. But sadly, there ainโt a
cowboy in sight.
Thatโs where Iโm going to help you girls fulfill your cowboy fantasies. By
following these 5 simple steps, youโll have your very own boot-strutting cowboy
with his tight butt wrapped up in denim calling you his lady before the night is
over.
1.
Youโre Going Honky-Tonkinโ
There are plenty of places to find a cowboy in his natural habitat. The feed
store. Dairy Queen. The gas station. Tractor Supply Company. But here youโll
find your cowboy in his work mode, and that isnโt very sexy. A cowboy at work is
a dirty, stinky mess because heโs been working with cows all day. Thatโs why
youโve got to go to the honky-tonk to find your cowboy. There youโll find a
stockpile of heart-stopping cowboys all looking like George Straight on his
album covers back when he was young.
2.
Wear Your Boots (or get some if you donโt have a pair!)
If you throw on a pair of boots, youโll get those cowboys worked up like theyโre
watching Phoebe Cates stepping out of that swimming pool in Fast Times at
Ridgmont High. Now, I know some of you girls are probably thinking that youโd
prefer to wear your favorite pair of open-toed high heels. Granted, I love the
way high heels make my ass perk up like my husband when I ask if he wants to
watch a โspecialโ movie, but high heels have no business in a honky-tonk.
Dancing at a honky-tonk, unlike a club or bar, means scootinโ across an uneven
hard wood floor, which in high heels is a disaster waiting to happen. Also,
consider who might win in a stand-off between one of your painted and pedicured
toes dangling out the front of your favorite stilletos and the heel of a
beer-buzzed cowboyโs size 12 boot.
3.
Quick. Quick. Slow. Slow.
Soon enough a cowboy is going to take a liking to you, and heโs going to come
over to find out how else you can make his spurs spin. So if you donโt know how
to two-step, I suggest you learn because heโs going to ask you to dance. At a
honky-tonk the two-step is about all they do, other than line dancing. Your
cowboy isnโt going to be interested in doing any kind of dance move youโve
mastered from watching Dancing with the Stars if he canโt do it with a long neck
in the back pocket of his jeans. So that pretty much narrows things down to the
two-step, and to cowboys the two-step is sort of like cooking and sex- if youโre
good at it, you can bet your ass heโll be coming back for more.
4.
Order Beer
After that first two-step together, your cowboy is going to offer you a drink.
If you want to send your cowboy riding off into the sunset with another woman,
order something like a Mexican martini. To a cowboy a complicated drink means a
complicated woman. Order a beer. You can make him buy those fancy drinks later
on if heโs a keeper.
5.
Request Anything by Willie
After a few rounds of beer and some flirty small talk, your cowboy is likely to
put some music on the juke box. Be prepared because heโs going to ask you what
youโd like to hear. You could easily pull a Megan Fox and screw everything up by
saying the wrong thing, such as, โLuke Bryantโ or โJason Aldean.โ Play it smart
and say, โAnything by Willie Nelsonโ. This will reaffirm what heโs already
thinking-that youโre something special, that youโre the reason why cowboys
starch their jeans and shave their scruff when the weekend comes around.
So get out there and fulfill your cowboy fantasy. Trust me, by the end of the
night youโll have that sex bomb in a Stetson right in the palm of your hand,
saying (if I may quote Shania Twain) โYeah. I like it that way.โ
About PRETTY SHAMELESS
The only rules she follows are her own...
Wherever deputy Laney Briggs goes, trouble always follows behind--except when
Laney is the trouble. Right now, Laney is on the hunt for her not-so-bright
cousin, who is wanted for gun smuggling. But there's a sexy, hot-assed Texas
Ranger on the same case, and Laney would bet her britches (and everything else
she's wearing) that Gunner Wilson knows something she doesn't. It just requires
a bit of sexy espionage...
Gunner knows all too well just how damned distracting Laney and her little red
cowboy boots can be. The pure, unadulterated want between them has never been
stronger-- and Gunner can't resist making her crazy. But even as she gives into
every carnal craving for Gunner, Laney is determined to get her answers, one
mind-meltingly hot night at a time. The only question is whether she'll be ready
for the truth...
"A hilarious, fast, fun read filled with twists and turns, and a touch a
mystery."--Fresh Fiction's
Christine
Mize. Read the full review
here.
"Fantastic storytelling, superb characters, splendid dialogue, and plenty of
Texas sexiness!"--Fresh Fiction's
Monique
Daoust. Read the full review
here.
About Jodi Linton
Jodi Linton lives and works in Texas, with her husband and two kids. Today she
can be found cozied up to the computer escaping into a quirky world of tall
tales, sexy, tight jean wearing cowboys, and a protagonist with a sharp-tongue
quick enough to hang any man out to dry.
What would you do to catch a cowboy? Readers, leave a comment below!
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