Interview with Barbara Delinsky

This past January, I reached what is considered a much dreaded milestone in life for many women...I turned forty. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I had expected. Sure, I have a noticed some fine lines and I guess I'm now supposed to be reading More magazine instead of Glamour, but all things considered, my life is pretty much the same.

In passing, a dear friend asked me if I had to choose, what would be my greatest accomplishment thus far. Without skipping a beat, I replied, "My sons." Isn't that the truth? Can you think of anything more life altering than giving birth to another human being? I live and breathe for my boys, as does my husband. There is nothing we wouldn't do for them and rightfully so. They are our world.

With that being said, this month's Jen's Jewels, Barbara Delinsky, epitomizes the true meaning of love not only through her writing, but also with the way in which she leads her life. And, her latest release, The Secret Between Us, touches upon our theme for the month...love. It's the emotional story of a mother and daughter who are unexpectedly put into a situation that tests the power of their love and ultimately changes their relationship forever. As you know from her previous novels, Barbara's talent for weaving an emotional drama is second to none. I truly think this novel is one of her best.

As part of this interview, Random House Books has graciously donated five copies to give-away to my readers. So, don't forget to look for the trivia question at the end.

Go ahead and grab some chocolate (Valentine's Day is coming, so why not treat yourself to something sweet?) and get to know my friend, Barbara Delinsky.

Jen: After I completed my background research, I had to take a moment to reflect on the trials and tribulations that you have overcome. From losing your mom at such an early age to being a breast cancer survivor, you have faced much adversity and have come out such a vibrant human being ready to tackle life's next challenge. So that my readers have a better understanding of your journey, please give us a brief overview of your personal and professional background.

Barbara: I was born and raised in suburban Boston -- and, funny, I don't see myself as having overcome trials and tribulations. Yes, my mother died when I was eight, but my dad was still around, so my childhood was pretty ordinary. I took piano lessons, flute lessons, and ballroom dancing lessons. I spent summers at camp, then, when I was sixteen, learning how to type and to drive. Soon thereafter, I was kicked out of Honors English because I couldn't keep up! Still, I earned a B.A. in Psychology at Tufts University and an M.A. in Sociology at Boston College.

Today, my novels are character-driven studies of marriage, parenthood, sibling rivalry, and friendship. I've also put together a book on breast cancer, which I have survived as my mother did not. This book, Uplift: Secrets From the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors, is a handbook of practical tips and upbeat anecdotes that I compiled with the help of 350 breast cancer survivors, their families and friends. The entirety of my proceeds from this book has gone into my charitable foundation, which funds an ongoing research fellowship at Massachusetts General Hospital. I gotta tell you. It doesn't get any better than that.

Jen: As you have said, writing was really not on your agenda as a profession of choice until you read an article about three female writers and then decided to take a stab at it. Please take us through your writing process. Plot first? Characters? What is the most essential piece to constructing the story? And most importantly, typically how much research goes into each novel?

Barbara: The process of my writing has evolved over the years. Most often now, the premise comes first -- in the case of The Secret Between Us, "Mom lies for daughter, and it backfires." Then I start sketching out characters -- giving them backgrounds and personalities. At the same time, I do my basic research, and that varies by the book. I worked with geneticists for Family Tree and with accident lawyers, family doctors, and optometrists for The Secret Between Us. Once that's done, I jump right in and actually eke out the first three chapters. These early pages are so crucial (and difficult) that I spend more time on them than on the rest of the chapters combined. By the time they're done, though, I finally know my characters enough to proceed. That's when I do in-depth plotting and outlining. I have to ensure that the story sticks to the central theme(s) I've chosen, that the emotional progression is correct, and that each and every scene furthers the plot. By the way, when the book is done, I go back and cut as much as ¼ of what I've written. That's for tightness and pacing, and, as painful as it is, it is crucial.

Jen: If you had to describe your niche in this business, what would it be? What makes your writing so different and appealing that it keeps readers coming back for more? (I am one of those readers, by the way.

Barbara: I write about the emotional crises that we face in our lives. Readers tell me that they identify with my characters. They know them. They are them. I'm an everyday woman writing about everyday people facing not- so-everyday challenges. And believe me, I love readers like you to bits. I've built my career one reader at a time. I owe a dept of gratitude to you all!

Jen: Has there been a defining moment in your career when you have taken a step back and have thought to yourself that yes, your work has made a difference in this world? If so, what has proved to be the most meaningful and why?

Barbara: The defining moment would be when I realized that my name was recognizable enough for me to be able to help women with breast cancer. The result was my non-fiction book, Uplift: Secrets From the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer. My success as a novelist made this book possible, and the fellowship funded by the proceeds of this book is training now doctors in research that will hopefully lead to a cure.

Jen: The first book of yours that I read was Looking for Peyton Place which I selected for my thirty-something book club. We all loved it and wound up checking out all the other titles we had in the library! In your latest release, The Secret Between Us, you once again shed a different light on an event that could happen to any of us. How did you arrive at the premise?

Barbara: This is one of those plots that's been tossing and turning in my mind for years. I remember Grace Kelly. I remember how she died. I remember that her fifteen-year-old daughter was with her in the car that fateful day, and that the girl acted out for years afterward. The official story is that Grace suffered a stroke while she was driving. But the psychologist (and mom) in me always wondered whether the daughter was actually the one at the wheel. If so, her misbehavior would be understandable, given the guilt she would have felt. Not that I blame her father, Prince Ranier. With Grace dead and Stephanie having her whole life ahead, I'd have made the same choice...

And so The Secret Between Us was born. The scenario is slightly different, but the premise is the same: What happens when a lie, told with the best of intentions, goes wrong?

Jen: What I love best about your characters are the multi-layered facets of their personalities. Readers can easily relate to them and thus feel a connection to their story. What are your main character Deborah Monroe's strengths? Weaknesses?

Barbara: Deborah is an amazingly adept woman. She is a skilled doctor with a family practice, an active single mother, a caring sister and daughter, and a devoted friend. Those are her strengths -- things we all admire. Her weaknesses? She needs a life plan. She's always had one, and it did follow its preordained course until her marriage fell apart. She didn't plan on that, and may not have handled it well. Then comes the accident. She didn't plan on that, either, and clearly didn't handle it right. How to confess to having made a huge mistake? How to accept that we can't plan out our whole life?

Jen: Deborah Monroe's daughter, Grace, must comes to grips with the reality of what she has done versus disappointing the one person in her life who has never let her down, her mother. Who really is to blame? Grace or Deborah ...and why?

Barbara: I think, here, that you've actually hit on another of Deborah's weaknesses, and it's a case of history repeating itself. Much as her father had expectations for her, she has expectations for her own kids, especially for her daughter. Just as, in the aftermath of the accident, she has to make her father understand that she isn't him, she has to accept that what was right for her may not be right for her daughter.

Jen: Without giving away too much of the plot, which part of the story was the most enjoyable to write and why? Which part was the most challenging and why?

Barbara: The accident was enjoyable to write because it was high drama, and I love writing that. Same with the climactic emotional scene between in the alley between Deborah and Grace. Here is mother-daughter angst at its best. The most challenging was probably the ending, because I was squirming right along with Deborah, wondering if she was finally getting it right.

Jen: What message, if any, are you sending to your readers by writing this book?

Barbara: I hate to think I'm sending a message, but if there is something I want readers to take away from The Secret Between Us it has to do with imposing our own expectations on those we love. Aiming high is wonderful, as long as the person doing the aiming has chosen the goal that is right for him or her.

Jen: What has surprised you most about the publishing business and why?

Barbara: It's a business. Whoa, is it a business -- and with each year, it becomes more so. The days when a good book would succeed purely because it's good are gone. Now, for an author to be successful, she must be willing to get involved in things like websites, podcast production, and phone meetings with book groups. She also needs to be able to communicate with her readers. This is all time consuming and takes time from actually writing a book. I know some writers far more talented than I, who have stopped writing because they couldn't handle that.

Jen: As I mentioned earlier, you are a breast cancer survivor. For those readers not familiar with your Uplift: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors book and handbook, please tell us a little bit about them.

Barbara: Uplift is the book I wished I'd had when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes, I tell a little of my own experience, but mostly this book is comprised of snippets of wisdom and wit sent to me by 375+ breast cancer survivors, their families, friends, and co-workers. It tells those newly diagnosed things that their doctors don't know, somatic things, personal things. AND it is not frightening. There is no medical talk in this book. It is simply secrets shared between sisterly friends.

Jen: Please tell us about your website. Do you have email notification of upcoming releases? Do you participate in a blog? Are you available for author phone chats? And if so, how would my readers go about scheduling it?

Barbara: My website, barbaradelinsky.com, is filled with content -- but hey, I've written a lot of books! There is information on all my books, bio material, info on writing, info on Uplift. Yes, there is a blog. And yes, there is a contact page for sending me notes and signing up for my mailing list. I respect my readers' time and privacy, and therefore try not to inundate them with eblasts, but I do send notices when new books come out, when I'm sponsoring contests, or when the first chapter of an as-yet-unpublished book is posted. And yes, I do phone chats. To schedule one, readers simply need to send a note through my contact page. So... the website is at www.barbaradelinsky.com , and the contact page is at www.barbaradelinsky.com/delinsky-contact.htm. Let me say here, too, that I answer every note readers send!

Jen: Are you currently working on your next novel? If so, what can you tell us about it?

Barbara: The title is While My Sister Sleeps, and it's the story of a family tragedy that helps a young woman find her voice. Enough said for now ...

Jen: It has been an honor to be able to interview you, Barbara. I think I speak for many when I say that you truly are an inspiration to everyone you have touched whether it be through your words or your works of love. Best of luck in 2008!

Barbara: Thank you, Jen. Believe me, I have been touched in turn by my readers -- and blessed that they care enough to want to read more!

I hope you have enjoyed my interview. If you haven't picked up anything for your mom for Valentine's Day, why not buy her a copy of The Secret Between Us? I guarantee that she'll love it! Better yet, would you like to win a copy? Okay, answer the following question. Good luck!

Name the title of Barbara's book about breast cancer.

Next time, I am stepping out of my comfort zone of romance and women authors and bringing to you an interview with a phenomenal military suspense author named John Lescroart. You won't want to miss it!!

Happy Valentine's Day....Jen