A.L. Davroe | On Finding Love Through Technology

In my Tricksters series, my main characters fall in love through interactions within a virtual reality game. Their entire love-life takes place on a plane of existence that came from someone else’s imagination. Even their online characters -- “avatars” -- are a construct.

But, that doesn’t make their relationship any less meaningful to the people
playing the game in real life. The virtual reality in my series is advanced,
allowing for incredibly life-like experiences. Real or not, the endorphins and
hormones that make up the reality of being “in love” are still being released.
The trials, tribulations, and experiences my couple endure build the same bonds
that last them beyond the initial stages of love.

At first, my characters are foolish -- fearing what the other will think of
their real-life identity. But, it’s a happily ever after story where love
conquers all, so everything works out. When they meet in real life, their
physical bodies aren’t as important because they’re so bonded and enmeshed with
each other that the fact they don’t match their avatars doesn’t necessarily mean
anything to the other.

I’ve had parents ask me if it’s alright to give young readers the impression
that they can find love through technology. Real life is often not so forgiving.

Barring the danger of virtual predators, my answer is this:

With the advent of technology, humans are beginning to shift our social habits.
This is most obvious in how younger generations, myself included, have become
so connected to the world via the internet. Everything circulates around
technology – our friends, our family, or jobs, and our love lives. A swipe left
or right, and you could be banishing your soul mate forever. Or, perhaps, you’ll
find the one meant for you in a manner you never thought possible…

I’ll be candid about my own experiences with online dating: I live in a rural
area of my state. Slim pickings -- especially when you take into account that
I’m a progressive, cosmopolitan woman living in a conservative, blue collar
area. I work multiple jobs and there aren’t many places for people like me to
find like-minded people. That’s not to say that the men around me aren’t
candidates, but I’m not likely to find one easily.

So, I turn to online dating. I’m able to see, read about, and speak to
candidates. Some dating sites, like e-Harmony, will even make suggestions based
off of my personality. I’m able to find someone to talk to within an hour as
opposed to talking to guys at a bar.

Online, I’ve met people I love talking to. Then, I meet them…And there is no
spark what-so-ever. We try, doggedly insistent because on paper we’re so good
for each other, but it doesn’t happen. We’ve wasted days, weeks, months chasing
a hope and we’re both back to square one. We may go on being platonic friends or
discontinue talking altogether. We float in and out of each other’s and other
people’s lives for years -- weeding through a sea of empty chemistry and
Catphishers.

That’s not to say that this method doesn’t work. I have many friends that married someone they met online. For example: One of my best friends is getting married to someone who, like Ella in the Tricksters series, she met through an avatar-based virtual reality game called Second Life. She was a clockwork girl and he was a bunny Lolita girl. They were neighbors in the game who became shopping buddies. Eventually, on a shopping trip, he told her he was a guy in real life and her only response was, “I don’t care, are you going to buy that headdress or not?” They’ve been together for quite a few real and virtual adventures and hardships and I’ve never met a couple more suited for each other.

So, I tell parents that some people find happiness online. Surely it does work
for some people. Surely, who you are in a virtual world can make another love
you enough to find you in real life and marry you. There are people who move to
be with someone they fell in love with online. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it
doesn’t. Perhaps it’s only possible for some. But, aren’t they lucky that their
love transcends the borders of reality and shouldn’t everyone try for something
that special?