I have a love/hate relationship with social media, which I think is pretty aptly
reflected in
IN TWENTY
YEARS. On one hand, I absolutely adore Facebook, Twitter and Instagram: I
love how Facebook and Instagram connect me with old friends and allow me to keep
track of their lives in ways that Iβd never otherwise be able to. Watching their
kids grow up, cheering on their personal accomplishments, finding common ground
when the world at large has disappointed us or inspired us. I truly could spend
all day βlikingβ their posts because I am so proud that these people are part of
my life. Similarly, I enjoy Twitter a lot, as it keeps me company during my
solitary writing days and keeps me informed about news and the world at large.
That saidβ¦
As reflected in the book, I think there are a lot of downsides to social media
too, and I guess I balance my love for all of the things I said above with my
equally measured view of the perils. Iβm not a fan of the sugar-coated,
overly-filtered presentation of, well, life, and how people use that
presentation to, I donβt know, make others envious or jealous or what-have-you.
I see these pictures or updates and just thinkβ¦βthatβs not real life,β and I
hate how these so-called-perfect feeds have become normalized. Does that make
sense? I guess what I mean is that overly-curated feeds feel very disingenuous
to me, and I much prefer honest updates of imperfect lives. Because all of our
lives are imperfect! And no one should feel like he or she has anything to prove
to anyone else. Thatβs what binds us together: that we are ALL in this together!
And trying to one-up people in social media is the very opposite of
togetherness. So, I really do think there is a bad precedent set there, and it
turns me off from social media, or at least from those feeds. I also think there
is a danger to losing oneself to, say, Instagram. When youβre so concerned with
capturing a moment that you forget to enjoy it. It makes me nervous for my kidsβ
generation: that every single thing has to be documented, and you get so busy
documenting that you donβt experience whatever it is youβre capturing. I
sometimes feel this way myself when say, Iβm at a concert and am video-ing a
song rather than allowing myself to get lost in it. Know what I mean? To me,
thereβs a real difference between snapping/posting a shot (which I love to do
and which I love to see among my friends and their feeds!) and constant/endless
chronicling. And it does feel like social media has taken away, a bit, of that
present-time enjoyment.
Butβ¦while I may look skeptically at some feeds or some images, I really do, do,
do love how it has allowed me to foster and strengthen ties with friends Iβd
otherwise have lost touch with. I remember when I graduated from college, long
before Facebook was around, and hugging some folks and saying, βwell, I guess
weβll probably never see each other again.β Ha! Now, I see these people
regularly on my feed, and seriously, Iβm so glad that I do! If you can find the
balance between living your life for social media and just living your life, I
think itβs a wonderful thing. Not a day passes that I donβt find joy from one of
my friendβs posted accomplishments on Facebook (and Instagram), and as long as
these sites continue to spark joy for me, I will continue to log on.
Twenty years ago, six Penn students shared a house, naively certain that
their friendships would endureβuntil the death of their ringleader and dear
friend Bea splintered the group for good. Now, mostly estranged from one
another, the remaining five reluctantly gather at that same house on the eve of
what would have been Beaβs fortieth birthday.
But along with the return of the friends come old grudges, unrequited
feelings, and buried secrets. Catherine, the CEO of a domestic empire, and Owen,
a stay-at-home dad, were picture-perfect college sweetheartsβbut now teeter on
the brink of disaster. Lindy, a well-known musician, is pushing middle age in an
industry thatβs all about youth and slowly self-destructing as she grapples with
her own identity. Behind his smile, handsome plastic surgeon Colin harbors the
heartbreaking truth about his own history with Bea. And Annie carefully curates
her life on Instagram and Facebook, keeping up appearances so she doesnβt have
to face the truth about her own empty reality.
Reunited in the place where so many dreams began, and bolstered by the hope
of healing, each of them is forced to confront the past.
After losing a close friend to breast cancer, Allison Winn Scotch
cathartically set out to write a story with a happier ending. While Winn Scotch
is the first to point out that Natalie and her thirty-one-year-old friend shared
very few similarities, her friend's resilient spirit and courage in the face of
an illness that took her life are felt throughout the novel. Winn Scotch has
contributed to Family Circle, Glamour, InStyle Weddings, Men's Health,
Parents, Prevention, Redbook, Self, Shape, Woman's Day, Women's Health, and
others. She lives in New York with her husband, her son and daughter, and their
dog.
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