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Nuala Calvi | My Grandmotherโ€™s Secret Wartime Marriage

As a child growing up in England, I knew my grandmother's husband Patrick as
'grandpa'. But in the family albums I saw pictures of my mother and her sisters
with mysterious American cousins, and over time I learnt that my real
grandfather was someone else โ€“ someone my grandmother clearly didnโ€™t want mentioned.

There were no pictures of him in the albums, and my grandmother was happy to let
people think that my mother and aunts were Patrickโ€™s children.

Yet once Patrick died, and my grandmother was approaching the end of her own
life, she became more willing to talk to me about my real American grandfather,
whose name she told me was Lawrence.

He was an American captain and she had met him while working as a typist at the
US Army headquarters in London during the war. Her eyes sparkled as she told me
about the excitement she, like so many other young women, had felt at
encountering Americans for the first time. After three long years of conflict,
with most young, eligible British men off fighting abroad, the Yanks brought
with them fun, romance, a ready supply of luxurious gifts such as nylon
stockings and chocolate, and, of course, the jitterbug.

Around 70,000 British women, including my grandmother, fell in love with and
married GIs, sailing to America to be with them at the end of the war. The
voyage itself was a trial, lasting up to two weeks. But once there, the brides
faced an even bigger journey as they learnt to fit in with a new family and
adapt to a different culture, thousands of miles away from home.

My grandmother found herself in rural Georgia, a place still in the grip of
segregation, struggling to keep her husband off the bottle. In the end, it was
more than she could cope with and she ran away back to England with her three
children.

As I heard about the hardships my grandmother had faced, I became fascinated by
this generation of women, who had been willing to give up everything and
everyone they knew for their husbands. Six months after my grandmother passed
away, I was on a plane to America.

There, I tracked down my long-lost American family, including Lawrenceโ€™s sister,
now 94. โ€œI am so sorry,โ€ she told me when we first met, still anxious to
apologise for the way her brother had behaved almost 70 years ago. In Georgia, I
found the house my grandmother and Lawrence had lived in, hearing from the same
mysterious cousins in those family photographs what kind of man my real
grandfather had been.

I also travelled around the country speaking to other, surviving war brides.
While many of their marriages had been happy ones, some had discovered, like my
grandmother, that their heroic soldier was a very different man out of uniform.
All of them had struggled with intense homesickness, and the difficulties
involved in building a new life for themselves, without the support of family
and friends. I returned to England with a new respect for my grandmother and
women like her.

On my grandmotherโ€™s deathbed, I promised her I would write her story. But my
book GI Brides became about much more than just her life. It is about all those
women who made the brave decision to cross the Atlantic for love.

Nualaโ€™s book GI BRIDES is available from William Morrow today (September 2) at $14.99. Find out more here.

Comments

2 comments posted.

Re: Nuala Calvi | My Grandmotherโ€™s Secret Wartime Marriage

Your Grandmother was one gutsy Lady, and I am so sorry to
hear about her passing!! You have my sympathy, for I too,
just lost my Father, who fought in WWII. That war did
something to everyone involved, and I'm sorry that she
experienced all that she did. On the up side, if you want
to call it that, it made her a much stronger person.
Because I read anything I can get my hands on from that era,
to try and get a better understanding of my own Father, for
starters, I can't wait to read your book!! That is such a
lovely tribute to your Grandmother, and also to keep that
part of History alive in the process!! Thank you so much
for taking the pains to write what I'm sure is going to be a
lovely, and at times, a tearful memoir!! I can't wait to
get a copy in my hands!!
(Peggy Roberson 9:15am September 3, 2014)

Nuala, what an incredible journey for you, and how wonderful that you're
honouring your grandmother in such a way (and, I'm sure, finding compassion
for your true grandfather as he tried to get through those terrible times). I
have a friend whose mother married an American and travelled to the States
with him -- and gave up her marriage because of extreme homesickness. To
my knowledge, that friend has never met her father. And another friend who
discovered from a family album that her own father's first marriage, which he
kept a secret from his second family, ended when he was on active service in
WWII and his young wife died in childbirth, and the baby too. Your story will
bring us closer to the reality of those broken lives -- and hopefully lead to
healing as well. Best wishes with your book!
(Cheryl Hingley 11:13pm September 3, 2014)

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