Book Title: A DEMON’S GUIDE TO WOOING A WITCH
Character Name: Astaroth of the Nine
How would you describe your family or your childhood?
I’m missing two centuries of memories due to a recent case of amnesia, but I thankfully do remember my earliest years. I was born in the early 15th century to the demoness Lilith, courtesy of a traveling minstrel. Lilith provided me with a well-rounded education in philosophy, swordplay, manipulation, deceit, and judicious violence. It was a delightful childhood.
What do you do for a living?
I am—or was—a member of the demonic high council, the nine demons who oversee demon society. I was also the species’ premier soul bargainer, responsible for harvesting the mortal souls that keep our realm alive. I can’t remember what happened to depose me, but I fully plan on reclaiming my position of power.
What is your greatest talent?
I have so many. How can I choose? Swordfighting, sex, speech-making, sex, looking good no matter the circumstances, sex…
Significant other?
Right now the most significant “other” in my life is the very hostile human witch I’m on a road trip with. Calladia Cunnington. She’s obstinate, beautiful, very powerful, and absolutely hates my guts after I hurt her friends. Twice now she’s threatened to explode my testicles, which is one more time than I’d prefer. Lucifer, she’s sexy.
Biggest challenge in relationships?
Normally the only challenge in my relationships is how tedious it gets to have people constantly falling in love with me. Right now, the biggest challenge is trying to figure out how to get this witch to kiss me when she keeps talking about kicking my arse.
Where do you live?
I spend half my time in London and half in the demon plane, a separate dimension accessible via mystical portal. At least, I used to. Due to a calamitous event, I can’t remember (amnesia is truly a pain), I am currently in hiding in the northwestern United States while one of the other members of the demonic high council tries to kill me. Calladia and I are trying to find a witch who can recover my memory. She says it’s because she wouldn’t feel right punching an amnesiac—the faster I heal, the faster the beating can commence—but I suspect she’s just a good person who tries to help people even if they don’t deserve it. Oh, and her house was blown up because of me so she has nowhere else to go. Oops.
Do you have any enemies?
Speaking of the house blowing up… Moloch is the demonic high council member currently trying to hunt me down so he can murder me. We’ve always disliked each other intensely, but normally he wouldn’t be allowed to try to kill another council member. What did I do to him? Is he responsible for my amnesia? And how did I get banished to Earth?
How do you feel about the place where you are now? Is there something you are particularly attached to, or particularly repelled by, in this place?
I’ve always found much to appreciate about the human world: the food, the vibrancy, the English breakfast tea. Humans are a passionate species, unlike demons, and that passion is intoxicating. I also feel attached to Calladia even though she hates me, but I am rather repelled by her insistence that we do such demeaning things as “camp in the woods.”
Do you have children, pets, both, or neither?
Neither, and long may it be so.
Greatest disappointment?
I don’t know where my cane sword is.
Greatest source of joy?
Calladia touched my arm at lunch today.
What do you do to entertain yourself or have fun?
Teasing the witch is a new favorite pastime. She’s so… alive. Bursting with emotions and opinions and the absolute meanest insults. If she ever decides she’d like to do something with my testicles besides explode them, I think we could find even better ways to entertain each other.
What is your greatest personal failing, in your view?
I have no character flaws. Except lately I’m not acting as ruthlessly and unemotionally as a proper demon should, and it’s troubling me.
What keeps you awake at night?
Last night it was the indignity of sleeping on the ground. I suppose the tent counted as “shelter,” but it left much to be desired. Also, Calladia talks in her sleep, which is hilarious.
What is the most pressing problem you have at the moment?
Besides the demon trying to murder me and two centuries of missing memories? Calladia frowns too much, and I’d like to be the one to make her smile.
Is there something that you need or want that you don’t have? For yourself or for someone important to you?
I need six things:
- My cane sword
- My memories.
- A good shag.
- Vengeance against Moloch.
- Ultimate power in the demon plane.
- To make Calladia happy.
Why don’t you have it? What is in the way?
1. I don’t remember where my cane sword is.
2. I don’t know the recovery time for amnesia, but hopefully the memories will come back soon...
3. Calladia despises me and I don’t want anyone but her.
4. I need to recover my memories and find some weaponry to take out Moloch.
5. See number four.
6. I’m doing my best, but she’s really holding a grudge about that time I tried to steal her best friend’s soul! But she’s been ogling me in my leather pants when she thinks I’m not looking, so perhaps there’s hope after all…
Calladia Cunnington curses the day she met Astaroth the demon, but when he shows up memoryless, why does she find him so helpless . . . and sort of hot?
Calladia Cunnington knows she’s rough around the edges, despite being the heir to one of small-town Glimmer Falls’ founding witch families. While her gym obsession is a great outlet for her anxieties and anger, her hot temper still gets the best of her and manifests in bar brawls. When Calladia saves someone from a demon attack one night, though, she’s happy to put her magic and rage to good use . . . until she realizes the man she saved is none other than Astaroth, the ruthless demon who orchestrated a soul bargain on her best friend.
Astaroth is a legendary soul bargainer and one of the nine members of the demon high council—except he can’t remember any of this. Suffering from amnesia after being banished to the mortal plane, Astaroth doesn’t know why a demon named Moloch is after him, nor why the muscular, angry, hot-in-a-terrifying-way witch who saved him hates him so much.
Unable to leave anyone in such a vulnerable state—even the most despicable demon—Calladia grudgingly decides to help him. (Besides, punching an amnesiac would be in poor taste.) The two set out on an uneasy road trip to find the witch who might be able to restore Astaroth’s memory so they can learn how to defeat Moloch. Calladia vows that once Astaroth is cured, she’ll kick his ass, but the more time she spends with the snarky yet utterly charming demon, the more she realizes she likes this new, improved Astaroth . . . and maybe she doesn’t want him to recover his memories, after all.
Romance Comedy | Romance Paranormal [Berkley, On Sale: November 28, 2023, Trade Paperback / e-Book, ISBN: 9780593547946 / eISBN: 9780593547953]
Sarah Hawley is an author of romance and fantasy novels. She was a winner of #RevPit 2018, and her short stories and articles have been published by Hooked, Slackjaw, the Belladonna Comedy, and Points in Case. She cohosts the Wicked Wallflowers Club podcast about romance fiction, which was featured on Entertainment Weekly. Sarah has both a BA and an MA in archaeology.
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