Haven Isley | What do men think about?

I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but as a romance writer I often have
family and friends anxious to tell me of their latest romance dilemma. From the
perspective of most people, romance writers are thought of as the go-to person
for love advice because we know how the guy can get the girl. But romance
writers do not have all the answers when it comes to love, even though, we do
have the ability to create heroes who can fly through the air, rule over
kingdoms and woo women, in only a few hundreds pages.

So when a friend of mine told me that her husband had given her stainless steel
pots and pans for her birthday, and that she couldn’t believe how she could
marry someone who has no sense of romance, I just shrugged.

It was not exactly the reaction she was seeking.

Then I said to her, "What did you tell him you wanted? Did you tell him
you wanted pots and pans?"

After mulling it over for a few seconds, my friend replied, "Well, not
exactly."

And right there was the beginning of the dilemma.

So I shared with her what I know to be true...men are not mind readers. They
seldom think the way women do, and I remind myself about this truth, every time
I sit down to write a love story.

So what do most men think about? Sports. Women. Sex. And believe it or not,
romance. I know this because I’ve asked men the question, what do guys think
about? Then I quickly tell them my reason for asking, which is to better
understand their point of view. It helps me to write believable male characters
in my novels.

Also, I go where men go to get answers about love. I visit websites on the internet where they read articles written for them with titles like Setting the Mood for Romance or Romantic Ideas or Does your Wife or Girlfriend think you’re romantic?

I know this may seem an unusual way to understand why a majority of men do the
things they do. But if you participate in the discussions that are specifically
about romance, you’ll get a better understanding of where men are coming from.
Now sometimes the comments are outrageous. But other times, the comments are
truly heartfelt by men who really do love their significant other, and don’t
know what to do.

 
At the end of the conversation with my friend, I asked her if it would be okay
for me to share this story
with you. She said sure and then I gave her the names of a few websites to
visit. And guess what? It
turns out that her husband, in comparison to a lot of other guys, is pretty
romantic…because he loves
her in his own special way.
 

My thanks to Fresh Fiction for the opportunity to guest blog, and I encourage everyone to leave a comment. Please visit Ellora's Cave to buy my latest novel, Memphis Rising. For anyone curious about the websites mentioned above, I have posted links to them on my website and blog

Comment today to win from our Fresh Fiction stash of paranormal books.