I’m a music person. A karaoke junkie at heart. All genres, all eras, all artists. Every book I write has a playlist because music is how I catch a character’s vibe. It conveys their emotions, their secrets, the pulse beneath the story.
For FALSE START, the second book in my Notes from the Deep End series, I needed songs that carried the weight of recovery and the sting of complicated love. Natalie Collins, a former Olympic swimmer and survivor of sexual assault, is fighting her way back after rehab and scandal. Torn between Mitch, her first love and anchor to everything she lost, and Eero, the alluring distraction who tempts her to start over, Natalie is caught in a riptide of past and future.
These ten songs reflect not just her journey, but the dangerous, magnetic love triangle at its center.
“Hurt” – Nine Inch Nails / Johnny Cash
“I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”
I count this song twice because I love both versions for different reasons. On paper, it’s about addiction, loneliness, and the frustration of trying to get clean. NIN’s version burns with rage, while Johnny Cash sings it like a confession. Both capture Natalie’s isolation and her resentment toward the recovery process. Haunting, either way.
“Creep” – Radiohead
“I don’t belong here.”
So much of False Start is about alienation. Natalie is constantly surrounded by teammates, cameras, fans, even friends yet she often feels like the odd one out. This lyric mirrors the tension between visibility and disconnection.
“Shake It Out” – Florence + The Machine
“It’s hard to dance with the Devil on your back.”
Florence’s anthem of exorcising demons runs parallel to Natalie’s training, her therapy, and her endless fight to outswim her ghosts. It’s the light she keeps chasing, even when it feels just out of reach.
“Wish You Were Here” – Pink Floyd
“We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year.”
This one speaks to Natalie’s grief and longing: for her late best friend Annie, for Mitch, and for the version of herself she can’t get back. There’s always someone missing, always someone out of reach.
“The Archer” – Taylor Swift
“I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost.”
This lyric could be pulled straight from Natalie’s bedroom rituals when she can’t sleep. The lavender spray on her pillow, TV glowing on mute for light but never sound, the fan off so she can hear if something moves. Anxiety doesn’t need monsters when the ghosts of trauma do the haunting.
“Fame (Is a Gun)” – Addison Rae
“Fame is a gun and it’s loaded.”
The novel digs into how fame is weaponized. It’s not something you hold; it’s something that holds you. This song captures that paradox: fame as intoxicating, beautiful, and devastatingly dangerous.
“The Blackest Day” – Lana Del Rey
“It’s not one of those phases I’m going through, it’s just a blackest day.”
Natalie craves emotional connection from both Mitch and Eero but struggles to accept it. Her past trauma keeps her walled off, and there are moments when she hates herself for it. Lana’s cinematic melancholy captures those shapeless, exhausting days.
“Bury a Friend” – Billie Eilish
“What do you want from me? Why don’t you run from me?”
Billie gives sound to paranoia and sleepless nights. The whispers, the lurking presence, the unease that never fully leaves…it’s the soundtrack of Natalie’s insomnia and her constant fear that something is always right behind her.
“Celebrity Skin” – Hole
“Oh, make me over, I’m all I want to be.”
The media machine, swim rivals like Paris, even Natalie herself everyone wants to reshape her into something consumable. Courtney Love’s snarl is the defiance Natalie hasn’t found yet, but desperately needs.
“Delicate” – Taylor Swift
“Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? My reputation’s never been worse, you must like me for me.”
The love story at its most fragile. With Mitch, it’s all the words left unsaid. With Eero, it’s the risk of trusting someone new. At the heart of False Start, Natalie still wants to be seen gently and honestly even if she’s terrified of breaking again.
That’s the soundtrack. Ten songs, one story — resilience, fame, trauma, and love in all its dangerous forms.
Notes From The Deep End #2
Three years ago, Olympic hopeful Natalie Collins shattered under the weight of fame, trauma, and addiction. Now sober and rebuilding her life in Los Angeles, she splits her time between college swim meets, mentoring at her former rehab center, and organizing a high-profile charity auction in memory of her best friend. But when a Hollywood murder resurfaces—one connected to a mute former child star at the rehab center—Natalie is pulled into a scandal that threatens everything she’s fought to reclaim.
As reporters close in and buried memories claw their way to the surface, Natalie must navigate more than just the public spotlight. Her ex, now a military therapist, returns with secrets of his own—and so does her charming new boyfriend, whose carefree presence hides expectations she may never be ready to meet. Old wounds reopen. Loyalties shift. And Natalie finds herself on the edge of a truth that could destroy her—or set her free.
Raw, witty, and achingly real, False Start is a coming-of-age story about reinvention, recovery, and what it means to finally swim toward the life you deserve—even when you're not sure you can trust the water.
Romance Contemporary [Oliver-Heber Books, On Sale: September 30, 2025, e-Book, / ]
Daniella Blue has been a writer her whole life, penning her first story in purple crayon at the age of seven. When not at her computer, Daniella can be found on the golf course, tennis court, ski slope and occasionally the bowling alley. She is considering training for a triathlon. Other favorite activities include obsessing over classic 80’s TV and getting her nails done. She lives in western New York with her three boys and two Dachshunds. Purple is still her favorite color.
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