Theresa Meyers | Five Ways How Writing is Like Parenting
Writing a book is kind of like parenting. There are things that no one tells you
about the process that you learn along the way. Now that my 18thbook,
Her Sworn Enemy, came out this week (thankfully I donβt have the same
number of children!), I feel confident enough in my process I can share some
things with readers (much like the mom who tells the first time moms what to
expect).
It never takes as long as you think.
What I mean by that is I can plan out a book, know all the details of my
characters, and still get stumped in the writing process in a three-month
spin-in-circles episode that would make a prima ballerina jealous. Iβve written
books in as little as a month and taken as long as four years. Seriously, just
when you think you know, you donβt. Every book, just like every child, is
different. So when people ask whatβs your process, Iβm getting so tempted to
reply, βI wish I knew.β
Your head space is not your own.
Just like when youβre tempted to try and steal five seconds alone in the
bathroom when you have toddlers, you are going to wish for times your characters
werenβt talking in your head. Sometimes theyβll start up a conversation in the
most inconvenient of timesβlike when youβre in a staff meeting and you are the
one taking the minutes. And, much like toddlers, when they stop making noise β
you worryβa lotβbecause that means something is not right. Hearing them loudly
debate in your head is better than not hearing them at all. You just have to
learn how to live with it.
Imagination is the biggest high ever.
When the story flows, and everything is just pouring outβthatβs better than
being able to fit into a size smaller jeans. Seriously. Because while squeezing
your butt into those jeans is a fabulous thing, it really doesnβt impact anyone
but you, while writing a story that moves you, means youβre writing a story that
moves other people. I know when I cry like a hot mess after reading the scene
the eighth or ninth time during edits, itβs a good solid scene. Similarly if I
still laugh after all the editing, itβs a funny moment. Thereβs just a rush when
it works. And when you have readers tell you they got the same rush out of
reading it, thatβs even better! Itβs kind of like watching kids discover stuff
for the first time. Their joy and discover spill on to you and you get to
experience that joy all over again. Itβs the best thing about being an author.
You gotta love what you do.
Like parenting, writers donβt get paid for all the work they put into a book.
Once I gave a talk at my daughterβs school. I asked the kids all kinds of
questions like βHow many of you would like to spend about 2 hours of your day on
social media for work?β Lots of hands went up. Every question I askedβmore hands
went up. Then I got to the big one. βHow many of you would be willing to work
full time for 20 years with no paycheck because you know itβs something youβre
meant to do?β Only one hand went up. I pointed at my daughterβs friend and said,
βYou might be a writer.β And while it did take me 20 years to get my first book
published, in just the past eight years Iβve gotten 18 books published, so Iβd
say Iβm making up for lost time!
Be grateful for every moment β because they donβt last.
In between the deadlines that spill over into the real life grind of school,
band concerts, sports practice and laundry, you have to take time to sip a cup
of hot tea or coffee and just sigh and relax. Sink into the moment and just let
yourself be happy when something good happens. Telling yourself youβll celebrate
it later isnβt going to cut it. You wonβt. You know it and I know it. Celebrate
in the now. Revel in the moment. Enjoy it, because just like that sleeping baby,
or smiling toddler who is happier with the box for Christmas than the toyβit
wonβt last. Enjoy now. I know Iβm going to!
Always a lover of books and stories, Theresa was a writer, first for
newspapers, then for national magazines. She started her first novel in high
school, eventually enrolling in a Writers Digest course and putting the book
under the bed until she joined Romance Writers of America in 1993. In 2005 she
was selected as one of eleven finalists in the nation for the American Title II
contest, which is the American Idol of books. She currently lives in Victorian
house on a mini farm in the Pacific Northwest with her two young children, three
cats, a black and white paint mare, a troublesome mini-aussie shepherd puppy,
several rabbits, a dozen chickens and is married to her high school prom date.
Money doesnβt matter when what you want is revenge.
Self-made millionaire and family black sheep Tucker McCormack has one
goalβpayback. Heβs planning a hostile takeover of the McCormack empire, but his
latest roadblock is too beautiful to resist and sheβs his brotherβs ex.
Headstrong antiquities expert Belladonna Dupre has put every asset she
has on the line to recover her familyβs fortunes from a shipwreck in the Gulf of
Mexico, but she needs a dive salvage operator to make it happen. Enter Tucker
McCormack. Heβs smart, good with his hands, and sexy as hell in a dive suit, but
he demands joint credit for the discovery as a condition to work with her.
Bella wonβt be bullied into giving up whatβs rightly hers. Tuck wonβt
take no for an answer. Itβs a battle on the high seas, where sparks fly,
attraction smolders, and
anything can happen.
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