“All done.” Nancy held out the box containing the cake as Connor opened his
front door. It was six o’clock on Friday evening and pregnant Pam’s leaving
party at the Lazy B was due to start at eight.
“Bring it on inside. Here, let me give you a hand.” As he took the pink and
white striped box from her, Connor’s hands brushed against her own and the by
now familiar zapping sensation shot up Nancy’s arms. Was this something she’d
ever get used to?
“Yay! Let’s see it.” Mia, clearing a space on the kitchen table, said bossily,
“Come on, Dad, take the lid off.”
Connor paused, looked at Nancy. “What if I don’t like it?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll just go away and quietly commit suicide.”
“Fine, but where would we get another cake at such short notice?”
“Oh, get on with it,” Mia exclaimed, briskly removing the lid. “Bloody hell,
Nancy, it’s all broken.”
“What?” Nancy stopped gazing helplessly at Connor and spun around so
fast she got a crick in her neck.
“Ha, got you.” Mia beamed at them both.
“Hey,” said Connor, studying the cake. “That’s amazing. You’ve done an
incredible job.”
Praise from Connor was like warm honey trickling down her spine. Basking in the
sensation, Nancy watched him examine the more intricate details of the cake. She
wondered if putting on perfume to bring it over to his house had been a mistake.
Then she thought maybe not as Connor put an arm around her shoulders—yes,
yes!—and said, “You’re a clever old stick, aren’t you?”
The warm honey abruptly vanished. Stick? Clever old STICK? What kind of
an endearment was that when it was at home?
“Ignore him.” Sensing her alarm, Mia said consolingly, “It’s just one of those
stupid things Dad says. He called me that once. So I called him a fat old fart,”
she remembered with satisfaction. “That soon put a stop to it.”
“Please don’t try that.” Connor turned to Nancy. “I’m sorry. I just meant you
were clever. You don’t look a bit like a stick. Anyway, we’d better be getting
ready.” He nodded at Mia. “D’you have it?”
Mia patted her jeans jacket pockets, found what she was looking for.
Embarrassed, Nancy said hurriedly, “I told you, I don’t want any money.”
“It isn’t money,” said Connor.
“Oh.”
“Here.” Mia handed Nancy a laminated card. “Now you’re a member of the Lazy B.”
Overwhelmed, Nancy took the card. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Hey, wasn’t I saying just the other day that you should come along to the
club?” Mia, whose idea it had been, was looking delighted with herself. “Well,
now you’ll have to.”
Nancy turned the card over. Oh God. “You really didn’t have to do
this.” Horrified, she gazed at the photograph of herself, purportedly
there for identification purposes. This one, taken almost ten years ago, showed
her with overplucked eyebrows, a truly hideous perm, and the startled look of
someone perched in a photo booth, unsure when the flash might be about to go
off. Excerpt that she hadn’t been in a photo booth—she’d been at one of Spike
and Carmen’s parties.
“I asked Carmen yesterday for a picture of you,” Mia explained. “See? All planned.”
Nancy said wryly, “And to think she used to be my friend.” God, even her
passport photo wasn’t as awful as this.
“You can have another one taken at the club. We’ll do you a replacement card.”
Connor’s tone was consoling. “Hey, look on the bright side. At least you’ve
improved with age.”
“Thanks.” Nancy forced herself to smile; he probably didn’t mean to imply that
these days she looked passable, whereas back then she’d been a complete
dog.
“Anyway, I like curly perms; my aunties all used to have them.”
“Dad.” Mia gave him a pitying shake of the head. “You aren’t doing yourself any
favors, you know.”
“Aren’t I?” Connor turned to Nancy. “Aren’t I? Am I getting it horribly
wrong?”
“Now you happen to mention it,” said Nancy, “yes.”
“Bugger, I’ve lost my blarney.” He clutched his forehead, looked tortured. “I’m
sorry. I don’t know where it’s gotten to.”
“Try looking down the back of your sofa,” Nancy suggested. “When we lose
anything, that’s where it usually turns up.” Reading herself to leave she said,
“Anyway, thanks for the membership. Maybe I’ll give the club a try over the
weekend.”
“Come with us tonight,” Mia exclaimed. “We’ll be leaving here in half an hour. I
can give you the guided tour, introduce you to people. And you’ll see Pam
getting her cake. Fancy that?”
Nancy hesitated, glanced at Connor to see his reaction.
“Of course, you must come with us.” Connor clutched her arm. “That’s a great
idea. Why didn’t I think of it?”
“Probably because you’re losing your marbles along with you blarney.” Mia
flashed him a sunny smile. “I’ll be having to put you in a home soon.”
“How about it then, Nancy? Are you free?” said Connor.
Nancy was having trouble concentrating; the electrical currents were still
zip-zapping excitedly up and down her arm. Gathering herself, she said, “I’m free.”
“Great.” Connor looked pleased.
Mia winked at her and Nancy blushed, suspecting that she and Connor had both
just been expertly set up. Mia was clearly a girl with a plan.
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