Breaking Up with a Book: When It Really Is Me

Last time, I did a post on how to have the perfect first date with a book. This time, I thought it would be good to address what happens when, after that date or several, things just aren’t working out. No book will please every reader because not every reader is meant for a certain book. Here are some thoughts on how to get through that break up.

1. Ask yourself if you have given the book a fair chance. I am a terrible mood reader, so if I pick up a NA romance when I really want a YA fantasy, there’s a good possibility I’ll end up putting it down. This might not be because the NA is a bad fit for me, but rather because my stubborn mind wants what it wants and will reject absolutely everything else.

2. Try to focus on the specific reason the book isn’t working for you. This isn’t because you have to defend your choice (a reader’s choice is his or her own), but because knowing what doesn’t work might help you learn more about your reading likes and dislikes. I once read a book with a very passive protagonist, and I ended up putting it aside. I found that the best books for me have active protagonists, even if they are more thoughtful or less action oriented. I still need to see the main character making a serious effort for something.

3. Decide if this is a book you might want to come back to another time. I do this often if I put aside a book because I’m in the mood for something else. Sometimes this also might happen if the book is moving a little slower, and you find your mind wandering too much. You might still want to be friends with the book, but not desire to pursue any further bonding until later down the road when a slow book might just be what you need.

4. If the break up is a bad one (you believe the writing is terrible; you find something personally offensive, etc.), calm down before you hit social media or a book review site. Your personal feelings need no justification beyond your own, but acting rashly will likely do no good. The best step is to take a few deep breaths, go for a walk, etc. and then write a thoughtful, non-bashing review (if you want) that expresses your feelings while being fair.

5. Don’t immediately write off the book’s “friends” if you didn’t like it. There are times when I know the story is what I didn’t like, not the writing. In this case, I will almost always give another book by the same author a chance, especially if it’s in a different genre. If the writing or some other part of the book is what didn’t work with you, don’t assume that all other books in the age group or genre are the same. If one romance author’s works aren’t a good match for you, don’t assume that all romance books are like that. You might discover that romance stories aren’t what you enjoy most, but that doesn’t mean you will hate every single book with romance.

6. Take some time to decide what you want next. Do you want to focus on something other than reading for a while? Maybe start a new show on Netflix or try a complicated cooking recipe you couldn’t master before. Are you still sure of what you want and are ready to dive back in again? Pick up something else! No matter what, remember that there are thousands of books out there waiting to be read, so don’t spend your time on something that isn’t good for you.