Interview with Judy Merrill Larsen - August 2006

It seems that lately the best books I have read are the ones that just happen to fall in my lap. I was sent All The Numbers by Judy Merrill Larsen from Random House. They have the knack of sending me books that pull at my heart strings. Emotional and full of drama, these books make excellent choices for a book club discussion. This particular novel has a sweet cover depicting a child and perhaps his mother. Immediately, it grabbed my attention. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the intense emotions that would surface when I read it. All too often we hear that life is a precious gift. Don't waste it! There is no dress rehearsal! You only get one chance! Carpe Diem! You've heard all these phrases, but have you stepped back and examined your life to see if you are following this sage advice? In All The Numbers, Judy quite eloquently takes the reader on a journey that punctuates the reality of these well worn phrases.

Like the main character in the story, I, too, am a mom of two boys. As I voraciously turned each page, it felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Judy touched upon every emotion in my body as I sobbed and sniffled through the pages. I can honestly say that I have NEVER cried so much while reading a book and I actually wanted to finish it! This one hooked me. It is well written, emotionally raw and surprisingly uplifting, which is a difficult task for an author, especially a debut author none-the-less, to accomplish so elegantly. If this is what we can expect from Judy in every subsequent novel, I definitely want to read everything she ever writes. Mark my words! This author is one to watch!

My favorite part of the entire interview process is getting to know the writer through Email. Judy is so pleasant and down-to-earth. I truly enjoyed working with her. As part of this interview, Judy has generously donated five books to Fresh Fiction! As always, check at the end of the column for a chance to win a copy for yourself! Good Luck!

Go grab a glass of iced tea and get to know Judy Merrill Larsen!

Jen: Please tell us a little bit about your educational and professional background.

Judy: I graduated from The University of Wisconsin (Madison) with a degree in English and Education in 1982. I taught high school English until 1987 in Madison. I then was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my sons when they were little, and then I returned to the classroom in 1993 after we had moved to St. Louis. I taught in Florissant for 7 years (during that time I received a Master's Degree from Washington University) and for the past 5 years I have been at Kirkwood High School. I am leaving the classroom at the end of this school year to write full-time, which is a little scary but also very exciting.

Jen: Have you always dreamed of becoming an author?

Judy: Yes. I first wrote away to a writing school (I think from the back of a matchbook or the TV Guide) when I was 10. My first rejection letter was from Tiger Beat in about 1971. I had entered the "Dream Wedding" contest. I think my dream groom was Bobby Sherman. In high school I filled notebooks with bad teenage poetry and took several creative writing classes in college.

Jen: What made you take the leap and actually write the book?

Judy: I had set a goal for myself that I would get to Europe and write a novel before I turned 40. So, in the summer of 1999, I took my sons to Europe for 17 days and then came home and wrote the first draft of this book. I turned 40 the following April.

Jen: Take us inside your mind. Exactly how do you write? Plot first? Characters? Outline? Summary?

Judy: It's a combination of characters and plot. For All the Numbers, I had a moment sitting on my best friend's dock at her lake house where I imagined the jet-ski accident and then saw the final scene. So, the plot and the characters were completely intertwined. I then started writing, letting Ellen, the main character show me how she got to that final scene.

Jen: From start to finish, how long did it take for you to complete the novel?

Judy: I wrote the first draft in six weeks. But that first draft was only one-third of what it eventually became. I spent the next four summers filling in the spaces as the characters let me know them more and more. The very first scene, the prologue, was actually the last thing I wrote. When I tell people that it was a five or six-year process they seem amazed, but it was all truly a labor of love. It became, in a way, something that I couldn't NOT do--when I'm writing, I find myself thinking about my characters all the time, so when I actually sit down with my legal pads to write or revise, it all just flows out of my pen.

Jen: Whose opinion do you value most when it comes to critiquing your work?

Judy: Well, the person who has turned out to be my best critic is my husband. He was first pretty nervous about saying this needed to be changed or that needs to be expanded, but I trust him completely because his comments are so right on target. He was the one, very early on, who suggested ways to make the trial scenes more powerful in All the Numbers. And that made such a difference. When I am in the middle of a book, I love to sit and talk with him about it--he listens incredibly well and often the ideas just start to flow. But then, of course, I have to get up from whatever we are doing and jot down what we just talked about.

Jen: Tell us about the process you went through to get your book actually published.

Judy: I truly had no idea what was involved when I first started out. I was introduced to my agent after attending a summer workshop at The University of Iowa in 2004. That was absolutely my lucky break. Once I signed on with her, I did another revision, and then she submitted it to editors. In her first round of submissions, I received the offer from Ballantine, which has been wonderful. I worked on another round of revisions, and then it was done.

Jen: I read All The Numbers in two days because I just had to find out what happened at the end. How did you come up with the premise?

Judy: I was sitting on a dock at a lake and it came to me in a flash. My children were playing with family friends and a jet skier went past them. And I looked at them and at my friend and just began to wonder and imagine the worst. At the time, I didn't know it would become a novel, but everyday that school year, as I drove to and from school (at that time it was a 40 minute commute each way) my mind would wander to Ellen and her sons and what they were going through and who they were becoming. So, in June, when I sat down to write, the story was fully in mind. Friends have asked if it's hard for me to go back to the lake house, and it isn't. I love the lake house just as Ellen and her sons do. I almost feel like the book, in a sense, is a love letter to the lake and the friendships that have flourished there.

Jen: The lake plays a major role in the development of the plot. Did you grow up on a lake or vacation on one?

Judy: As I mentioned before, I am lucky enough to have a best friend with a lake house, and for the past 25 years I've been able to go there every summer. It's one of my favorite places in the world. It was easy to write about the lake and Madison because I feel so at home there; I know it so well.

Jen: Ellen, the main character, has experienced a failed marriage. Why did you chose that fate for her rather than giving her a happy marriage torn apart by a tragedy?

Judy: You know, I never even considered it any other way. That's the way Ellen presented herself to me and so I just wrote her story. Being a single mom is who she was. That was never in my power to change. There's probably a lot of me in Ellen (I was a single mom with two boys, I'm an English teacher, I'm not the greatest housekeeper, I love to cook) but I didn't necessarily decide to have a main character like me. I think that since the idea of the story came to me when I was with my best friend and our children, the characters have some similarities. But, whenever a friend would refer to Ellen as me (or one of the sons as one of my own sons), I would clarify that these were invented characters. I had to have that distance so I could write honestly. That's also why I didn't write it in first person narration. I needed that distance between the character's voice and the author.

Jen: The emotions throughout the book are so gripping and at times frankly raw that it felt as if you, too, had experienced a tragedy in your life. Have you experienced a similar loss?

Judy: Fortunately, I have not experienced the loss of a child. But, as a mother, I have had terrifying moments when I thought I might. And when I hear of parents whose children have died, I am in awe that they can continue to function. So, as I got to know Ellen, I put myself, as much as could in her shoes. I tried to think, IF I had to deal with such a loss, what would my reaction be. I don't think I'd be noble or reflective at first--I know I'd be angry. So I just imagined the very worst. At times it was really hard to do so--and as Ellen grieved, so did I.

Jen: At times, it was frustrating to see the pain Daniel was going through as his mom stood by oblivious to his suffering. Did you do a lot of research to accurately portray the emotions that a child and mother would experience when faced with a tragedy?

Judy: Again, I think my research was more soul-searching. I have two sons, and I know there have been times when I've been too caught up in my own worries or stress or sadness and they've slipped from my focus. I hated when that happened, but I know that it did. As a high school teacher I've also had the opportunity to observe lots of other kids, so I'm sure I drew on that at times as well. I think I also wrote as a way to deal with my fears. Whenever I start worrying that I have some new illness or that something has happened to one of my children, one of the ways I deal with that is to play it all out in my mind--whom would I call, then what would I do, then what and etc. So, since as a mother, my greatest fear is losing a child, I tried to face this fear through Ellen

Jen: Ellen's best friend played a crucial role in the novel as a supportive friend and confidant. I think the scene where they confront each other with their thoughts of silently hoping it was the other's child and not their own who got hit by the Jet Ski was quite moving. It's something we all would think but never would say. Why was this confession so crucial to the plot and to their friendship?

Judy: I think it's just totally honest. And for Ellen and Anna, given what has happened in their lives, there is no room for anything but honesty. I think grief and trauma do that--it strips away the façade and leaves just truth. Again, I don't formally outline what the characters are going to say. Sometimes I feel like an eavesdropper on their conversations. I often don't know what they are going to say until my pen records it for me.

Jen: Of course, organ donation is an essential part of this book. Why did you add this element to the already heartbreaking death scene of James?

Judy: Over the years, I've seen people on the news who have donated a loved one's organs after an accident, and I'm always struck by how calm they seem. How they sometimes even say that this helped them in their grief. And I've always thought, wow, they must be totally in shock or I'm a much less giving person. While I believe in organ donation and have told everyone that I want to be a donor when I die, I just think that for me, in the moment, especially if it was my child, while I'd definitely donate the organs, it wouldn't make me feel better anytime soon. That's just what I believe my honest reaction would be.

Jen: Who is your favorite character in this book and why?

Judy: Oh, it changes. I most relate to Ellen because we're quite a bit alike. My heart goes out to Daniel though--he's suffering and in many ways is the real catalyst for Ellen's change. I was also surprised to find out how much empathy I began to feel for Ben Buchanan (the driver of the jet-ski) as the book progressed. And of course I still tear up at times over James.

Jen: Ellen experiences a self-discovery of sorts. What did she take away from the tragic accident?

Judy: I think she learns forgiveness. And that revenge isn't usually the cure. I hope she learns that love survives no matter what, even in death. And that life goes on even when we don't think it possibly can. And there can be happiness again.

Jen: What did you learn from writing this book?

Judy: I learned to never ever give up. I learned that you might have to fail a few times before you taste success. And I learned that I will never get on a jet ski.

Jen: If the book were made into a movie, who would you like to see play Ellen?

Judy: Oh, this is one of my favorite games for my friends and me to play. I've often suggested Helen Hunt because I think she's wonderful. Or Tea Leoni or Reese Witherspoon. Maybe Maura Tierney who plays Abby on ER. I've also joked that I want Dennis Quaid to play Bob Hansen, but then I'd want to be the kiss-double for whoever plays Ellen.

Jen: Are you writing a new book? If so, what can you tell us about it?

Judy: I am working on a second book. It's about a woman who teaches cooking classes and is fed up with bad dates, which she hates almost as much as she hates shaving her legs. So, she decides that if she never shaves again she'll never have to go out on a date. Of course, as soon as she makes that decision she meets a great guy. It's funny and sweet and full of recipes.

Jen: Any appearances planned for the Baltimore Area and do you have a web site?

Judy: None yet! I do--JudyMerrillLarsen.com--it is just getting put together and will feature my upcoming schedule as well as contests for readers and other links.

Thank you so much, Judy, for an awesome interview. I look forward to reading your next book!

Until next month...Jen

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