Book Title: WHEN HAPPILY EVER AFTER FAILS
Character Name: Abigail Gardner
How would you describe your family or your childhood?
Umm, it was quiet. As an only child with a lit professor for a dad, I spent a lot of time reading – and a lot of time in his dusty office at Brynn Mawr. Our house got a little “noisier” after my dad got sick. Once he was diagnosed with ALS, he kind of threw caution to the wind and really embraced life, you know? That’s when the fun actually started. Course, it didn’t last super long with that illness. Only a couple years until he lost many abilities and, eventually, his battle with that awful disease.
What was your greatest talent?
I’d love to say my ability to inspire a child through art, but others seem to think it revolves around literature. Of course. It’s a subject I can’t escape no matter how hard I try. I cringe every time I hear this – or a version of this – but the general consensus seems to be I’m not bad at analyzing complex characters in a way that’s easy to understand. That makes me sound like a therapist, doesn’t it? Ugh, I hate therapists.
Significant other?
I’m going to play coy on that one. A girl never kisses and tells.
Biggest challenge in relationships?
For me? Probably making myself known. It’s easier for me to keep everything in. I know, I know, doing that keeps the rest of the world out, but that isn’t always a bad thing. Yes, I think most people I dated would say it’s hard for them to get through to me. I’ve also had, like, a strong ambivalence toward a lot of guys I’ve dated. It’s not their fault. I’m just a tough cookie to crack, I guess, but there’ve been a few who have gotten through.
Where do you live?
Downtown Philadelphia. Go Eagles! That’s our team, right? I think it is…
Do you have any enemies?
Do bosses count? Don’t print that! She’d kill me. She already hates me. Other than that, not really. I don’t like conflict…oh, there was this one girl one time, though, who thought I was into her date. She was almost, like, hissing at me and throwing daggers with her eyes? I think maybe I’m an enemy of hers? I’m not sure. Super agro, though.
Do you have children, pets, both, or neither?
I have a bully baby named Brutus. He is my WORLD! I adopted him from a local rescue group, and he’s been by my side ever since. I’m not one to stand on a soapbox, but I’m a big, big animal lover, which means I’m a big, big rescue advocate.
I call him Old Man Bru because that bull terrier is surly, sulky and snores like an old man. Sleeping is his favorite past time. That, and barking at the stragglers leaving the bars across the street after last call. I can’t remember the last time he went on a walk or enjoyed fresh air. It’s simply not his scene but, my gosh, I love that sack of sedation.
Greatest disappointment?
There’s been a couple. The obvious one(s) is not having my parents around at this stage in my life. Not only am I missing out on their life advice, but I’m not getting to experience any of this with them.
There’s also the now-viral situation with the high schoolers and Spanx. That wasn’t a fun one. Major disappointment there.
If I’m being honest, finding out this new teaching job was for literature and not art – like, art-art – was defeating, too. But I’m really starting to enjoy it or, at least, the kids. And Excelsior Primm has made me co-chair of the drama club, so that’s been positive. I guess those are the silver linings. It certainly hasn’t been all bad.
Greatest source of joy?
Oh, I find joy anywhere I can. You have to, right? There’s just too much sadness out there waiting to take you down with it. An Audrey Hepburn movie, pretty flowers, making my students smile, talking to my friends, cuddling with Old Man Bru – there’s tons of things that make me happy.
What is your greatest personal failing, in your view?
I really hate this subject, but the way I handled the Spanx incident. Ripped skirts and kids seeing what appears to be your bare butt are unfortunate incidents, but I still can’t believe the way I froze and then just bolted. If I hadn’t run straight to the principal’s office to resign from that school, I’m sure she would’ve fired me anyway. Oh, and not enforcing the no-phones policy in the classroom. That’s a major regret. Teenagers are harder to handle than I thought, and I assumed I could buy some goodwill if I maybe turned a blind eye when they occasionally pulled out their devices. Timing has never been my thing, so, of course, someone would have their phone whipped out the second my skirt splits. Ugh, I’ll never live that video down.
What keeps you awake at night?
The same thing that keeps everyone awake at night: the problems of the world. The macro and micro tragedies that make their way into our everyday lives like a cancer. Cancer. Thinking about how many people have a brush with that disease – either personally or through a loved one – also keeps me up at night. But that’s why we have to keep looking for the joy, right? Because doom and gloom can be waiting around any corner, so get out and have the time of your life while you still can. Within reason. Don’t do anything that might cause cancer.
What is the most pressing problem you have at the moment?
This very second? If I’m being honest, these false lashes. I figured I’d wear them to this interview since I was going to sport them later anyway. I’m going out with my friends, and I have a little tradition of showing up in “character.” Like, as a person other than myself, who doesn’t actually exist? Tonight we’re hitting a piano bar, so I thought the perfect persona would be Nikki, who plays Stevie Nicks in a Fleetwood Mac cover band. But the inside corner of my right lash is killing my eye. I can never put these stupid things on correctly. Where’s my BFF, Mathilda, when you need her?
Is there something that you need or want that you don’t have? For yourself or for someone important to you?
Maybe enough money in the world to rescue all the dogs and adopt all the children and cure cancer and ALS and treat those with untreated anxiety disorder and…wait. Did you mean that literally? I was thinking more figuratively. Sorry, teaching literature to kids will do that to you.
Twentysomething Abigail Gardner’s life is circling the drain. Her parents are dead, her “like a brother” is in love with her, and her nascent career as an art teacher was fully squashed by an unfortunate viral incident involving sophomores and Spanx.
But just as that whirlpool feels poised to suck her down completely, she’s granted a second chance: she lands a teaching job at Excelsior Primm, one of Philadelphia’s oldest and most prestigious preparatory academies. Only problem is, instead of teaching art she’ll be stuck teaching her least favorite subject—literature—and her least favorite theme: tragedy.
Tired of being stuck in her own tragic tale, Abigail starts rewriting every sad ending she can get her hands on, in and out of the classroom. To her surprise, her life soon starts to resemble the fairy tales she adores—great job, hot guy, a career gaining recognition. But when an unexpected plot twist threatens to derail her happy ending, Abigail begins to realize why these conclusions are so hard to come by.
Women's Fiction [Spark Press, On Sale: April 9, 2024, Paperback / e-Book, ISBN: 9781684632404 / ]
Courtney Deane has been a writer and pursuer of happily-ever-afters since she can remember. As a full-time freelance writer, her days are spent working for print, digital, and broadcast entities, as well as a variety of PR and marketing clients. She continues her craft by dedicating some space each day to work on her fiction books. After both of her parents died, she worked to turn those tragedies into something beautiful—an effort that inspired her debut novel, When Happily Ever After Fails. She holds bachelor’s degrees in English and sociology from UC Irvine and a master’s in journalism from USC. Deane splits her time between Las Vegas and San Diego, where she resides with her husband, daughter, and rescue dog—her very own happily-ever-after.
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