#WhatsNewTuesday because we love humor in our romance...and
maybe some revenge?
Mother Teresaβs Advice for Jilted Lovers is a hilarious,
irreverent take on the darker side of spirituality.
Every time Tara Holland thinks sheβs getting close to
finally having her white wedding, the man who should be
on his knee, giving her roses, winds up on his back,
pushing up daisies. Needless to say, Taraβs beginning to
think sheβs cursed when it comes to men.
Her best friend, Betsy, whoβs always there to put the
pieces back together, convinces Tara sheβs the cause of
each of her boyfriendβs untimely exits to the other side.
Could it be that Tara has that kind of psychic power? And
is Betsy right that women all over the world would pay a
pretty penny for it?
What follows is a wild and humorous trek down the path of
Taraβs spiritual growth and ultimate awakening. But the
road to enlightenment is no cakewalk. Itβs fraught with
stacks of ill-gotten cash, death threats, and orange
jumpsuits.
Excerpt CHAPTER ONE
Killing James wasnβt my top-of-mind thought after we made
love that morning.
In fact, after four months of sharing sheets, I was
feeling good about my relationship with James.
Relationship. Okay, so we hadnβt actually said that we
were a couple. But I knew it was coming.
James got out of bed to make coffee and connect with his
head office. I stayed put to hold on to my post-sex buzz
just a bit longer. I imagined the conversation Iβd have
later that day with Betsy.
βI think weβre getting serious,β Iβd tell her.
Sheβd be skeptical and snarky, βBetter you than me,β
sheβd say.
βHe bought me a toothbrush when he replaced his own.
Feels like a sign.β
βYeah, a big, orange caution flag.β
I heard the coffeemaker sputter and James clinking mugs.
I got up. His laptop sat on the table open to an exchange
with his boss, Sandra. As I dropped to the couch, two
words jumped out at me as though theyβd been typed in
large, bold, red lettersββblow job.β
He must mean something about not blowing a job he has
to do for Sandra.
I picked up the laptop and started to read. Nope. The
only job that Sandra was worried about blowing was his.
From only six one-liners, back-and-forth between them, it
was obvious that James and Sandra were lovers. And by
βloversβ I mean it was obvious that Jamesβs penis played
an integral role in his weekly job duties.
James called from the kitchen as I put his laptop down,
βHey, Tara, you want your coffee in bed or are you
getting up?β
I couldnβt speak through the bile in my throat. James
walked around the corner and saw me sitting on the couch.
He smiledβHe bloody smiled at me!βand put one cup of
coffee down on each side of his laptop.
βWhatβs wrong? You look pale. Are you feeling sick?β he
asked, touching my forehead like a concerned dad.
I pointed at his laptop, stood, walked to his bedroom,
and closed the door. Hard. I wanted to leave but didnβt
have the energy to get dressed. I sat on the edge of his
bed. I didnβt scream. I couldnβt cry. My only thought was
whether I should puke in the toilet or on his bedroom
floor. I decided to stay where I was.
Unfortunately, all I did was dry heave. If only Iβd had
the coffee first, then Iβd have something to bring up.
James sat down beside me and put his hand on my back. I
jerked away.
βI get that youβre upset. And Iβm sorry you saw the
emails. But letβs not make this into something that itβs
not,β he said.
I glared at him and saw something in his eyes that made
me want to believe him. I started to soften and then
thought, No! Youβve been cheating on me. Thatβs not
okay. I turned away from him.
βTara, look at me. Let me try to explain.β He crouched on
the floor directly in my sight line. I looked in the
other direction.
βFine. Do you want to be juvenile about this or do you
want to talk about it?β
Apparently that was the right question to break through
my stunned speechlessness. Oh, I gave it to him. I donβt
even remember what I said but I had a sore throat and
ringing ears at the end my tirade. And the whole time, he
stood there with a stupid little smile on his stupid
little face.
βAre you done? Do you feel better?β James asked when it
was clear that I was done and that I didnβt feel better.
βI really like you. I do. Iβve been thinking that we have
something specialββ
See Betsy, I was right. He was ready to go to the next
level.
ββbut this job isβ¦well, itβs my life, Tara. You and I,
weβve only been together, what, a few months? This thing
with Sandra, itβs just a thing, itβs not love, but itβs
been three years. I canβt simply stop, itβs complicated.
I want to be with this company for the rest of my career,
and she kind of has me over a barrel, if you know what I
mean.β
He stopped talking and I wished my eyes could do to him
what my heart was feeling. He seemed to understand that
this approach was not doing the trickβ¦ha! Doing the
trick.
βTara? Itβs not like you and I ever said we were
exclusive, right? I mean, I really loveβ¦the time we spend
together. I do. Iβm happy that it looks like we might be
moving into a moreβ¦you knowβ¦serious kind of relationship.
But, thatβs not where we are now. If anyone should be
mad, itβs Sandra,β he said with a frigging smile, βsince
Iβve kind of been cheating on her with you. Look, Iβm
sorry. Arenβt you going to say anything?β he asked.
I looked around Jamesβs bedroom. Iβm going to miss
waking up to your view of Kits beach β¦ And I love the
colour of your walls. I wish Iβd asked what it wasβ¦Too
bad youβre an asshole βcause I was getting comfortable
here.
βIβm taking my new toothbrush.β I packed up my things,
dressed in silence and left without saying good-bye.
Start Reading MOTHER TERESA'S ADVICE FOR JILTED LOVERS Now
 Advice for Jilted Lovers MOTHER TERESA'S ADVICE FOR JILTED LOVERS
#1.0
β’ January 2016
Our Past Week of Fresh Picks
|
© 2003-2026