Your daughter sounds like me - the book starts out when I was young. When I was first being violated I, too, believed he was my friend. He told me many many times that no one else would love me. Or love me like he did. That's how they control. If your daughter does read the book, she'll get that message loud and clear. I will keep both of you in my heart and pray for the best for her.
Karen,
The question is deep inside of me, too. I think it was put there to keep up my strength! To continue the push.
Kaelee,
We found that if we just sit down and talk to you all, rather than trying to find something to write about, there's always something more to say!
Peggy,
Thank you for your words! I hope you find the book.
Tammy,
Your hope is ours. And I, too, cry for the children. I can hear their cries. That cry will never stop for me as it is personal to me as well.
Michelle D,
This book was written for you. I hope if you do read it you will at least find some measure of understanding which might be able to bring some peace.
Leisa,
I was there. Your same age. I am so glad to hear that you got out - though I know that the demons dont ever go completely away I hope you have found love and happiness.
Maude and all,
THANK YOU so much for the encouragment and well wishes. Tim and I are going through every single comment together, just didn't want to clog this post with a bunch of replies saying thank you. We mean them to each and every one of you.
Deb H.,
We look for you everyday! I hope our paths cross in the physical world someday!
Mary and everyone who's said they are getting the book, PLEASE let us know, and more importantly let others know, what you think of it so we can keep this chain going.
Rosemary,
It sounds like you've already read the book!
All,
We'll be back later tonight. Going in to a booksigning right now!
I sometimes think the mental abuse is the most insidious because there is nothing obvious to point at - no bruise or breaks that can be quantified. For me, the mental abuse was the worst. It plays with your ability to trust your own mind.
Betty,
I agree. Taking a stand makes you a lot stronger than enduring does.
Alyson,
I am SO glad to hear that you're helping you're friend. Please don't give up on her. It could be a long haul. If the local place doesn't work, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-7233, they'll find the closest place to your friend.
Mary, the blog tour actually is a lot of fun. It's a lot of work, too, but well worth the time spent. We're bringing women together in a bond of strength that can make a real life difference in some lives.
To those of you who've never suffered abuse, thank you so much for speaking out. Once you've been there, it seems normal and it's so so good, so heartening to hear that there really are women who go through their whole lives not as physically strong as men, but still safe. I am so thankful for Tim. His gentleness makes him the strongest man I've ever known.
Christina,
I hate the silence, too. I wish there was a way to give voice to every single woman and child who suffer. Sometimes speaking out seems scarier than the abuse itself, because there is that fear that speaking out will increase the level of abuse. In the end, of course, nothing is worse than a life lived in fear and retribution.
JD,
I'm with you completely.
Diane,
The good thing is, she got out while she was still young, and before the child grew up with the abuse. I am very thankful for that, at least. I hope and pray she has all the help and support she needs to stay out and to eventually find a healthy, loving relationship.
Carla,
Thank you so much for sharing. I'm really not alone out here. There are so many of us who can band together to make the world more aware so that more of those still living in silence can be reached. I am very very thankful that you are out and free and that you are HAPPY. That's the key point. There really IS happiness on the other side. It doesn't ever seem possible when you are living in the darkness.
Lynda,
I read this to Tim and he said - 'you have your one.' The very first conversation we had with the editor on this book, she ended the conversation with the one line that made my decision to write this book. She said, 'if we even help one woman, we've done
I'm so glad you got to read the book. And more glad that it passed with you. When we agreed to do this, I thought of all the people we could help and I was fully on board. I failed to consider all of the people who knew me, people whose opinions I valued, also reading it. I saw the book in our neighbor's hands last night and couldn't breathe.
Kaelee,
I'm glad you're enjoying the stops. That's the great fun in all of this. We've got some brand new ones coming up in the next week or two. Some non-book sites that I thought were really cool, too.
Darla,
You're speaking up right along with me - shining your light as brightly as I shine mine. Believe me, I'm leaning on you!
Everyone,
I hope that if you read the book, it sits well with you, and that if you think it will help someone, you'll pass it on.
Your support has me in tears. I hope other women who need this kind of acceptance are here, reading as well, and gaining strength from the knowledge that even though we don't talk about domestic violence, we are aware of it and will do all we can to help anyone suffering from it.
Once again you hit it exactly right. You could be describing me for so much of my life. There are so many others out there. I hope we can help them to take the first step out of the darkness.
Everyone,
Your encouragement gives so much strength. Thank you. I hope you can give the same if there is ever anyone you know who needs to find a way to speak up. I hope we can all be that listening 'ear' for however long it takes.
Thanks everyone! So the cover works. I'm into it now! I liked it - I just wasn't sure it said what it needed to say. It does! The first half of the book is a college story. The second half is the rest of it.
Thanks everyone! I'm seasoned at having books out there, but this one is so different. I think I need to take a cruise to a far away island when it's released.
Thank you for sharing your story!! It's things like this that give validation to our lives. Twenty-seven years! Congratulations!! Tim and I are coming up on four and I am grateful for every single minute of them.
Gladys, I am very fortunate in the husband I have. And because of what went before, I cherish every single minute with him. One benefit is that I don't every take him for granted.
Thanks for the good wishes, everyone! I was kicked out of here yesterday! Just got back in.
Alyson, I really like that...fate and wishes colliding. A great way to think about the process.
Bella, thank you for joining us! I hope you enjoy the series.
Lynda, so true about the best things happening when you least expect them. I feel very blessed to have been at a particular booksigning at a particular time.
Molly, you can join us for our virtual party on December 4th! It's going to be on e-harlequin and we're giving away tons of prizes to blog tour commenters. Your name is entered!
Lee, Faith is the key. And it's a hard key to hold on to when things are dark.
Mary, knowing at such a young age what you have to do is good in some ways. Detrimental in others. Because it pigeon holes your thinking. My goal was a tough one to reach and if it hadn't happened, I had little else...I'd left myself no options. But maybe that kind of belief is what it takes.
Vickie, having proof of the forces at work makes it easier to believe those forces are there, that's for sure.
Darla, I believe that the same forces at work in my life are at work in yours. I'm looking forward to hearing about the next stages in your life.
Ginger, Valerie, it is great to have validation of that which we believe!!
Thanks for your concern. The hand is doing much better! It doesn't hurt at all any more when I use it. Only if I touch it! And the color has yellowed. I'm watching the original injury area as that still hurts and will have it looked at if it continues.
And I took the whole day off yesterday. Wasn't easy, but I made myself stay away from work. Mostly. I was only at the computer once!
Patricia,
Your words on domesitc abuse are so critical. So many people still carry the burden of shame and silence. Because the abuser convinces the victim that the abuse is the victim's fault. Hard to believe from the outside looking in, but it happens all the time.
Sorry to hear about your bad week. A couple of friends of mine had bad weeks, too, in two separate parts of the country. I hope you all three fare better this week.
Thanks everyone! I loved reading about the special people in your lives - it intensifies the sense that we all can contribute to the source of energy that sustains us. Like there's this big pool and sometimes we tap into it and share it with others. And sometimes someone else taps into it and shares it with us. I've discovered that I need that pool more vitally than I need food or air or water. I need the energy that flows among us and between us to sustain me.
Talking here is so much more than just time on the internet or social interchange or even an enjoyable past time. It's a source of the energy we need to take the next breath. The next step.
Whew, and now I guess you all know why I write deep books!
And Gwen, four books back to back keeps my head occupied! After I spoke with you I was offered the opportunity to write three more, back to back. I accepted, of course!
Great comments! I notice that most of us go to nature in some form to find our deeper selves. I don't think that's a coincidence.
I don't ever skate alone. Haven't for several years. My husband is an avid skater as well. We recently returned from a cross country skate in upstate Michigan. It was scary, but for a different reason! We'd just heard there was a cougar loose in the area!
I don't feel so alone in my small town isolation now! I guess part of it is what you're used to, too. And what you notice around you. I don't notice smog in the city, I notice the life going on around me. For me, being in the city was nice because I could go about my business without being stared at or talked about. Also, to be fair, my big city is Phoenix, Arizona (I'm moving back in the fall - YEAH!!!) and in Arizona, the natural beauty is so compelling it outshines big city and small town. The mountains own the state and when you're there, you know it. No matter what kind of day I was having, I could always step outside, commune with the mountains, and all would be well. Or at least better enough to give me the strength to move forward.
Thanks for your kind words!! And even more, thank you so much for supporting More Than Words. I told Sandra Ramos that we had an incredible family of readers who would understand our project and be happy to contribute. She is an amazing women. I am very lucky to have had this chance to get to know her.
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