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by C.J. Carmichael

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One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer

NAL Trade
May 2008
On Sale: May 6, 2008
400 pages
ISBN: 0451223896
EAN: 9780451223890
Paperback
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Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster
Author Book List

Personal Training, Session One: I’m standing at the front
desk, waiting for the mythical “Barbie” to appear. While I
was sucking down water and aspirin earlier today, trying to
shed my hangover, I started thinking about how judgmental I
can be. I mean, why should I have instantly freaked out
when I heard someone named Barbie was going to be my
trainer? Sure, the name brings up images of gorgeous girls
with long blonde hair, shiny white teeth, deep tans, and
impossible-toachieve, completely enviable figures, but
maybe this Barbie is different.

Maybe Trainer Barbie is a dark, homely girl with an
overbite and she took up fitness to feel better about her
hump and her skin condition. Yes, that’s it. Barbie is all
hideous and disfigured and she will have a heart of gold
and because of this, she’ll be devoted to nothing but
making me lose weight…

I stand by the magazine rack and I’m about to pull out this week’s In Touch when I hear my name being called. I turn around and look for my gargoyle of a trainer.

But I don’t see any monsters.

All I see is a gorgeous girl with long blonde hair, shiny
white teeth, a deep tan, and an impossible-to-achieve,
completely enviable figure standing there. “Hey, are you
Jen?” she asks. “I’m Barbie!”

Of course you are.