Be not a witness against thy neighbor without cause;
And deceive not with thy lips.
—Proverbs 24:28
San Francisco, August 4, 1898
"We've taken a vote, Elizabeth. We understand you
will
need to find a job and a place to live, and we are ready to
help you there, but you will have to leave Reverend Selby's
residence."
Elizabeth Breckenridge felt as though the blood was
leaving her body, beginning with her head and draining
down toward her feet. She had no doubt what had caused
this meeting of church deacons who sat circled around her
with looks of condemnation on their faces.
"May I have an explanation?, she asked, fighting not to
cry. Elizabeth always cried when she was extremely angry,
but she refused to shed tears in front of these pious judges,
especially the two-faced Reverend Selby. Lord, help me not
to hate these men.
"Surely you know the reason for this." the words
came
from Anderson Williams, who'd once been a good friend
to her father.
Liz faced him squarely. "And surely you know me
better," she answered. "How can you do this, Mr.
Williams?
You were one of my father's staunchest supporters. You
know my family well, and you know how I was brought up."
Williams shifted uncomfortably, and Liz could see that
he was bound to abide by the decision of the rest of these
church leaders, six deacons in all. And, of course, the
Reverend Thomas Selby himself sat in judgment.
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth, but I do understand
it's possible
after all that's happened to you that—well, my dear—it
would only be natural for you to turn to someone for
comfort, and perhaps for you to—well—yearn for the safety
and steadfastness of a man's love," Williams said.
"Love? Is that what Reverend Selby told you? That I
turned to him for comfort? That I said I loved him?,
Still
fighting tears, Elizabeth continued. "Gentlemen, my father
always taught that we should not condemn. According to
St. John, Chapter 7, Verse 24, Judge not the appearance,
but judge righteous judgment. You have made a grave
misjudgment, I can assure you. I am not the one who should
be cast out of this church, but I can already see that none
of you is ready to listen to the truth, so I will not sit here
and beg you to believe me! Only our Holy Father knows
the truth, and true judgment will prevail when all of you
stand before Him!" She turned her gaze to Reverend
Selby. "Including you, Reverend, but I forgive
you, for if ye forgive
not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive
your trespasses. St. Matthew, Chapter 6, Verse 15."
Reverend Selby's dark eyes narrowed with what Liz
interpreted as a literal threat. "We all understand
your sad
situation, child."
"My sad situation?, Oh, how hard it was to hold her
tongue! That had always been difficult, and right now the
Lord was not helping her at all when it came to not
harboring hatred and a desire for revenge against the reverend.
Deep in her heart she really could not forgive this
man!
"For one thing, I am not a child. I am twenty years
old."
She turned her attention to the others, men who had
known her since she was a little girl; men who had worked
with her father to build this church in San Francisco; men
who now fell into the common belief that all women were
basically weak and needy and were somehow responsible
for any man's basic weaknesses. "My sad situation
is not
the awfulness of losing both my parents to death and my
brother to a higher calling," she continued. "My
saddest
situation is that I accepted the reverend's offer to remain
living with him and his wife until I could get back on my
feet and decide what to do next after Mother's death. My
saddest situation results from trusting a supposedly godly
man and thinking he truly wanted to help me. I misjudged
his kindness. Reverend Selby had in mind when he offered
his home to me other intentions than just helping the
daughter of your former preacher!"
"Daughter, watch your tongue!" the words came from
Cletus Olson, another former friend of her father's.
"Don't
add false accusations to what has already happened. We are
ready to forgive and help you."
Liz rose from the straight-backed oak chair in which she
sat. She felt like an accused harlot. She took a deep breath,
astounded and disappointed at the attitude of these men
who'd known her family so well.
"Speaking of false accusations, I can only imagine what
the pious reverend has been telling you," she said, turning
to meet the eyes of each man directly. "I need no
forgiveness, and it sickens me that you would believe him. I
assure
you that I will gladly leave his home, and in fact I was
about to tell all of you the same—that it might be best if I
lived elsewhere."
She swallowed, realizing now that this was God's way
of letting her know it was time to act on what she'd been
wanting to do for a long time. "I had already decided
to join
my brother in Dawson. I know that many of you believe
he only went there to search for gold like all the thousands
of others who've gone, but I know in my heart he intended
to build a church and minister to the many lost souls who
will surely need his services. I've heard some of you joking
about his real intentions, but you know what a sincere man
of God he is, how hard he worked to save this church after
Father was killed. He would never drop all of that for
something as shallow as a gold rush. He felt God's
calling and
he followed it. I intend to go and find him."
"How on earth will you get there, Elizabeth?, Anderson
Williams frowned with what seemed true concern. "it's a
terribly dangerous trip for a young woman alone. Besides,
it's too late in the year to go at all."
Liz held her chin proudly. "That shouldn't
concern any
of you, considering that you are so eager to ban me from
the reverend's house and brand me as something I am not.
Traveling to the Yukon won't be any worse than struggling
to find work and fend for myself with absolutely no family
left here—and a congregation that is apparently whispering
behind my back."
Elizabeth folded her arms, angry with herself for not
speaking up sooner about Reverend Selby instead of
keeping quiet and allowing him the chance to speak first
and turn everyone against her. it had always been obvious
to her that the man was jealous of the fact that her father
had founded Christ Church, and that her presence
reminded the congregation of that. Selby didn't just want
to preach here. He wanted to "own" Christ Church and its
members. He didn't want to be known as the man who tried
to fill Reverend William Breckenridge's shoes. He wanted
all the glory for himself. he'd done what he could to
malign the Breckenridge name and get rid of the last bit of
Breckenridge influence in this church so that he and no
other would be the number-one leader of his flock.
Winning over these men, former friends of her father's, was
his final victory.
"We've taken a collection for you,
Elizabeth," Jeffrey
Clay spoke up. He was always the most quiet, reasonable
man among the deacons. "it was intended to help you find
a boarding house and keep you on your feet until you could
find a way to support yourself, perhaps by teaching. If you
choose to use the money to get you to Alaska, that's your
choice." He rose and cleared his throat, walking up to her
and handing over an envelope. "there is four hundred
dollars here. That should be of considerable help. We are
aware that your mother also saved some money, which she
put in your name before she died."
Elizabeth took the money with a gloved hand. "I am told
that traveling to Alaska could take much more than this,
what with the embellished prices of goods there. But
somehow I'll make it with this and what little else I have.
I apparently have no choice."
She turned to leave, wanting nothing more now than to
get away from the accusing glares of these pompous men
who knew nothing of what she'd suffered since her mother
had died three months ago. She should be angry with her
brother. This was partly his fault. If he hadn't up and left
last summer— Oh, Peter, if only you were here, none of
this would have happened!
"Elizabeth, wait!"
Liz stopped short at the sound of Reverend Selby's
booming voice. Even before he'd started making advances
toward her, he'd always had a way of looking at her as
though she were some kind of evil temptress. She turned
to glare back at him.
"Our love and prayers go with you, daughter," the
reverend told her. "Know that I forgive you, as does my
wife. You are welcome to stay another few days until you
can make your arrangements, or until you find work.
Surely you could teach, or perhaps work as a nanny. And
there are any number of young men in our fold who would
like to court you. Marriage could bring you all the security
you desire."
Oh, Lord, why are You making it so impossible not to
hate this liar!
"I'll not marry just for security," she
answered aloud.
"And yes, I will look for work, but not in San Francisco.
I'll not stay here any longer than it will take me to go
home and pack my things. I'll find a hotel room for tonight
and however many days it takes to procure passage to
Seattle. I'll leave as soon as I can!" She moved her
gaze
about the circle of men again. "And how dare any of you
talk about forgiving me! I am not the one who needs
forgiving! I am the one who will be praying that God forgives
all of you for what you've done today!"
With that, Elizabeth quickly left the brick building that
had been built next to Christ Church as a gathering hall for
potlucks and the like. She rushed around behind it, clinging
to the envelope of money. She let the tears come then, deep
sobs of humiliation, disappointment, mourning for her dead
father and mother, and fear of the unknown. What choice
did she have now but to go and find Peter? All she wanted
was to be with her brother, the only family she had left.
"Lord Jesus, help me do this," she wept.
How afraid
Jesus Himself must have been so many times, but He
trusted God to give Him the strength and wisdom necessary to
bear the accusations thrown at Him, and to travel
where others dared not go. Now Elizabeth knew that she
must do the same.
Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed,
which do err from Thy commandments. Remove
from me reproach and contempt; for I have kept
Thy testimonies.
—Psalms 119:21 & 22
Feeling guilty over her anger, too guilty even to pray about
it, Elizabeth stuffed clothing into two worn carpet bags that
had belonged to her mother. Tears stung her eyes at the
longing in her heart to be able to turn to the woman now. the
day three years ago that the police informed the family that
Liz's father had been murdered was the day Edna
Breckenridge's health began slipping downhill. She never
really recovered from the loss of her husband, but she insisted
that no one in the family lose faith in God because of it.
Still, this last hurt did indeed bring a challenge to
Elizabeth's own faith. What more terrible things lay in wait
for her? What had she done to deserve this? First, her father,
a faithful servant of the Lord, cruelly murdered while
bravely ministering to miserable drunks and thieves and
prostitutes who plied their dastardly trades on the Barbary
Coast. then her brother, another faithful servant of the Lord,
as well as her best friend, felt a calling to follow the hordes
of men headed for the Yukon to find gold. God meant for
Peter to go there, too, and to build a church and bring His
word to men who would too easily forget God even existed
in their quest to get rich, or so her brother believed.
After Peter left, one of the more respected deacons,
Thomas Selby, had offered to take over as preacher for the
church. Deep inside, Liz had always suspected Selby of
wanting the job even when her father was alive. Even her
mother had doubted that Selby had anything like the
abiding faith and love for mankind in his heart that Liz's
father had possessed.