Love, Danger, Homecomings & Heart β Your June Reading Escape Starts Here
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A hysterical look at the film business...and to meet Mr.
Campbell in person, well worth the 2 hour wait!
Thomas Dunne Books
June 2005
Featuring: Bruce Campbell
320 pages
ISBN: 0312312601
Hardcover
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What you're reading right now is known as the βflap copy.β
This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book, Make Love
the Bruce Campbell Way, are cooked down to fit in a 3 Β½-by-
9 Β½-inch column. But how does one do that with a fictional
story about a B movie actorβs disastrous attempt to finally
star in a big-budget Hollywood movie? Do you tantalize
readers with snappy zingers like the one in chapter six
where Biff the Wonder Boy says, βYou may be bred in olβ
Kentucky, but you're only a crumb up hereβ? Or do you
reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the
book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing
finger and shouts, βThe killer is Mr. Potter!β
I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient
consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But letβs not
play games here. Youβve already picked up the book, so you
either:
A. Know who I am
B. Like the cool smoking jacket Iβm wearing on the
cover
C. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is
out of toilet paper
Is this a relationship book? Well, if by βrelationship
bookβ you mean that the characters in it have relationships
or are related to someone, then yes, absolutely. Will you
learn how to pick up chicks? Good heavens, I can only hope
so, though for best results in that department you should
both read this book and be Brad Pitt.
Is it a sequel to my autobiography, If Chins Could Kill:
Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it
much harder to write. According to my publisher, I
haven't βdoneβ enough since 2001 to warrant another memoir.
Is it an βautobiographical novelβ? Yes. I'm the lead
character in the story and I'm a real person and everything
in the book actually happened, except for all the stuff
that didnβt.
Mostly, the action revolves around my preparations for a
pivotal role in director Mike Nicholsβs A-list relationship
film Let's Make Love!, starring Richard Gere, RenΓ©e
Zellweger, and Christopher Plummer. This is the kind of
break most actors can only dream of. But my Homeric attempt
to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fare is
hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production
that becomes infected by something called the βB movie
virus,β symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy
special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting.
When someone fingers me as the guy responsible for the
virus, thus ruining my good standing in the entertainment
industry (hey, I said it was fiction, okay?), I become a
fugitive racing against the clock, an innocent patsy
battling the shadowy forces of the studio system to clear
my name, save my career, and destroy the Death Star. In a
jaw-dropping twist worthy of Hitchcock (page 274), you'll
gasp as I turn the tables on Hollywood and attempt to
salvage my reputation in a town where youβre only as good
as your last remake.
From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering
stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. If you like
John Grisham, Tom Clancy, or one too many run-on sentences,
you'll absolutely love Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way.
And if the 72,444 words are too time-consuming, there are
lots and lots of cool graphics.
Regards,
Bruce βDon't Call Me Ashβ Campbell
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