The earthquake started like they always do. Suddenly.
Nicki and M were sitting on barstools watching me fold won
tons one minute, and the next second we were all thrown on
the floor. I instinctively crouched against the cabinets as
the wave-like motion of the earth rattled the flour
canister off the counter. It hit my arm on its way down. My
hearing became incredibly sharp. I instantly registered
clacking silverware, pots and pans jingling deep within the
cabinets, glasses and bowls clattering delicately, and
outside the jarring blares of dozens of car alarms. My own
sharp breathing was loudest of all. The floor’s vibration
traveled through my knees and hummed in my belly. Shredded
carrots and a won ton wrapper tumbled from the counter and
landed next to me.
M yelled, "Stay down, Nicki!"
I heard Nicki say something but the fruit bowl clattered
to the ground just then and I couldn’t make out words, only
the fear. An apple rolled to a stop against my leg and,
insanely, I wondered if the fall had bruised it.
Then, just as suddenly, it stopped. I stood up
cautiously and peeked out the window. A hose reel had
tumbled onto my mother’s border of violets, smashing their
delicate purple heads into the dirt. Our neighbor’s wind
chime had fallen and shattered.
Nicki’s voice startled me out of my trance. She
asked, "Are you both okay?"
I looked over at M, who was picking up paper napkins
that had dropped to the floor with the first jolt. She
nodded. No one said anything else. It was one of those
weird frozen-in-time moments, like we were just hovering in
space or something. I realized it was the absolute
motionlessness of the earth that created this sensation.
There is no more complete feeling of stillness then
right after an earthquake. You can’t imagine how unmoving
ground feels like such a gift. You want to trust it, but
you can’t. See, there are always aftershocks, little jolts
and pulses beneath your feet reminding you that nothing is
ever completely reliable. Not even the ground under your
feet.
In my mind I always see that day, the day of the quake,
as the point when things began to shift between me and M
and Nicki. I would begin to see everything that happened as
either before the quake or after the quake. It was the
start of the hardest year of my life. Well, my life so far."