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We're Just Like You, Only Prettier
Celia Rivenbark
Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle
St. Martin's Press
January 2004
288 pages
ISBN: 0312312431
Hardcover
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Contemporary
"On the short drive to the preschool,
I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and
toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old.
Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself.
Studies have shown that it's very important
for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South?
Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating
chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce?
When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama
tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus"
theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we
need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two
weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for
your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in
the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well,
nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's
marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not
surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible
for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-
five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling
Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes
you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama
and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow.
Ya'll come back now, you hear.
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