I—can't—breathe.

On the brink of her freshman year of high school, Jenna Wheeler has one thing on her mind -- getting Orlando Bloom to marry her. Nothing else matters, not volleyball, not her best friend or even how she's going to handle high school. The new "Orli" movie is out and Jenna must see it. Unfortunately, it's Rated R (Orlando is wearing not much more than a sheet) and there's no way her parents are going to let her see it. After convincing her best friend, Jessica, to sneak in with her, Jenna sees her future husband in all his naked glory. Worried that they'll get caught, Jessica bolts for the door, and after getting one last eyeful of her man-candy, Jenna chases after her. Unfortunately, Jenna's long limbs seem to get in the way as she takes a tumble down the steps, landing head first into someone's crotch.

I—can't—breathe.

Will Addison is the new quarterback in town. With dark hair that curls over his ears, dreamy deep brown eyes and a body to die for... But aren't these feelings betraying Jenna's true love, Orlando Bloom? Unfortunately for Will, Jenna's feelings will have to be put on hold. First, he accidentally lets it slip to Jessica's mom that they sneaked into a Rated R movie. Oops. Jenna's mom is furious and decides the only appropriate punishment is for Jenna to throw away all of her Orlando posters and even her Orli pillowcase (with his shirt conveniently missing). Then Justin, Jenna's brother, has it in for Will as he's the current star of the varsity football team, and there's no room for two all-star players. Justin is determined to make Will's high school experience a living hell (think itching powder in his jock strap and dirty plays on the football field).

As the school year starts, Jenna has to learn not to be a spaz, not to freak out about every little thing and finally learn how to breathe.

OBSESSING ORLANDO is formulaic to a fault: girl feels awkward about her body, girl is worried about starting high school, girl meets cute boy and crushes hard. The secondary characters aren't interesting enough to make up for the lack of action with the primary plotline. However, fans of Louise Rennison or Cathy Hopkins might connect with an American take on the trials and tribulations of being a 14-year-old girl.