As a 500-year-old "born" vampire, Lil Marchette is at the
top of the pecking order as far as vampire society is
concerned. But when a girl, even an undead one, has a yen
for Prada, Gucci and all things Chanel...well, let's just say
our heroine is a stylish undead countess with some serious
VISA bills to pay. Always a quick thinker, as well as a fly-
by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of vamp, Lil has opened her
own dating service, Dead End Dating, to make ends meet. She
offers full-service hook-ups for the otherworldly lovelorn,
as well as for the occasional human.
Just as Lil is about to close an especially lucrative
contract with a group of female werewolves in desperate
need of 27 hot, alpha human men, the cops literally break
down her door with an arrest warrant accusing Lil of
murdering a former client. Man-handled, cuffed, read her
rights and on her way to the station, she panics and
escapes (no big problem with her super vampire strength)
and goes on the lam. Hiding out first on her parents'
estate and then with her flakey brother and his human
girlfriend, Lil eventually ends up knocking on Ty Bonner's
door.
Ty, a "made" vampire, has something of a past with Lil.
She's attracted to him, but, here's the rub -- "made" vamps
can't procreate. And Lil needs a solid mating with a "born"
vamp, not only to please her parents, but also because she
won't settle for anything less than Mr. Right. Even though
Ty is hiding her from the cops and helping her to solve her
client's murder at great personal risk to himself, Lil
keeps her distance, even though the sight and smell of him
are about to drive her nuts. Crazy lustful thoughts aside,
there's also the very real problem that someone who knows
her fairly well is trying to set her up for murder. But
why? Determined to solve the vicious crime, save her
fledgling business and keep Ty out of her bed, Lil forges
full steam ahead. But with her eyes only half-open, her
senses clouded and her common sense compromised by
unrequited lust, Lil might be coming to the end of her long
and fashionable existence.
Fun and frolics abound! Mostly lighthearted and silly, DEAD
& DATELESS follows up it's predecessor, DEAD END DATING, as
a romantic comedy you're pretty much always in the mood
for.
After re-making and successfully matching the geekiest
vampire in existence, a knock-down drag-out with a deranged
serial killer, and wild and crazy sex with a to-die-for-if-
I-wasn't-already-dead bounty hunter/made vampire, Lil
Marchette is certain the excitement of opening Manhattan's
newest dating service is way over. She's been in business
over three months now, she has a nice, steady client base
to pay the bills and she's completely and totally over her
infatuation with Ty Bonner aka to-die-for-if-I-wasn't-
already-dead (he‘s a made vamp and she‘s a born one and it
just ain't gonna happen). Things are bound to settle down.
Not!
When a “secret” dater from The New York Times turns up dead-
-the newspaper has been working on an article about the
local dating scene--Lil finds herself the prime suspect in
his murder investigation.
Murder ? While Lil's a vamp, she doesn't do gore very well
and so the notion of her chopping some poor guy into little
pieces goes beyond ridiculous (although with a pick-up line
like “You must be a parking ticket, ‘cause you‘ve got FINE
written all over you“ , she can certainly see why someone
would want to). Lil is innocent, even if all the evidence
points directly to her.
In addition to New York's finest, Lil has a group of
desperate female werewolves breathing down her neck (pass
the Altoids please). The Connecticut chapter of the Naked
and Unashamed Nudist Sisterhood aka the N.U.N.S. need Lil
to match each of them with a decent mate before the next
full moon. Otherwise . . .
Lil isn't going to think about otherwise . She's an
optimist, after all, and a firm believer in true love.
While she hasn't exactly ventured into the werewolf
population--born vamps move in their own social circle--she
knows she can rise to the challenge. She'll simply find
three dozen strong, virile, male werewolves eager to give
up their wild, untamed ways and settle down. At the same
time, she'll do a little investigating of her own and clear
her name of all murder charges. And she'll do both without
thinking about Ty Bonner.
Okay, so maybe she'll think about him a little and,
perhaps, even see him. He is helping with the secret dater
investigation, which means a face-to-face is inevitable.
But she's not going the wild and crazy sex route again. No
way. No how. Nuh, uh. She's not getting any younger (five
hundred years and counting) and she's reserving the rest of
her orgasms for the perfect born vamp who can make perfect
little baby vamps with her.
In the meantime, Lil is keeping her mind on her business--
matching up her dead and dateless buddies, and a few furry
ones, too!
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