
In "Maeve Binchy's Carissima," a longtime ex-
pat and free spirit returns to Ireland from Sicily and
shakes things up for her family, who finds her life
utterly scandalous. In "Soulmates," by Marian Keyes, one woman's
relationship
is so bleedin' perfect in every way that it's driving her
friends up the wall. In Cathy Kelly's "Thelma, Louise
and
the Lurve Gods," two women on a madcap, Stateside road
trip have completely opposite reactions to a pair of
insanely good-looking men. In these stories, and
throughout this fabulous collection, Ireland's finest
women authors celebrate the joys and perils of love, the
adventure and constancy of female friendships, and their
own irresistible brand of Irish charm.
Excerpt Soulmates Marian Keyes So was it a disaster?" Peter begged Tim. "Did they try to
kill each other?" Watched by seven avid pairs of eyes, Tim shook his head
sorrowfully. "They got on like a house on fire. They're
going to do it again in July." A murmur of Isn't that marvelous? started up. But Vicky couldn't take any more. In despair, she put her
face in her hands. "How do they do it?" she whispered,
echoing everyone's sentiments. "How do they bloody well do
it!"
Georgia and Joel were born on the same day in the same
year in the same city -- though they didn't meet until
they were twenty-six-and-a-half, while moving and shaking
their way around a launch party for a Japanese beer. When
Joel discovered the momentous connection, he declared,
above the clamor: "We're twins! Soulmates." Georgia was called the golden girl, an inadequate attempt
to convey how fantastically energetic, gorgeous and nice
she was. In every group of human beings there's a natural
leader and she was one. Only a very special man could keep
up with her: Joel was the perfect candidate. The kindest
and best-looking of his good-looking group of prototype
New Lad friends, how could he not help gravitating to
Georgia, the deluxe version of her coterie of glossy,
shiny girlfriends? And now she had a soulmate. She would, her best friend
Vicky thought, with shameful envy. Georgia was always the
first. With the first ankle bracelet, the first wedge
sandals, she had an unerring instinct for what was good
and new and right. Some years back Vicky had tried to
trump her with a pair of boots she'd joyously ferried back
from New York. This time I'm the winner, Vicky had
thought, breathlessly ushering her new boots ahead of her.
But Georgia had beaten her to it. Again. By wearing a
similar pair of boots -- similar, but better. The heel was
nicer, the leather softer, the whole élan simply much more
convincing. And she'd only bought them in Ravel. Soulmates. It was the start of the nineties and new-age
stuff had just started being fashionable. Katie had
recently bought four crystals and dotted them about her
flat, but four crystals couldn't hold a candle to a real
live soulmate. It was about the best thing you could have -
- better than a tattoo or henna-patterned nails or a
cappuccino maker. Quickly others followed their example by
claiming that they too had found their SM. But it was only
a spurious intimacy based on chemical connection, which
dissolved just as soon as the cocaine or ecstasy or
Absolut had worn off. "We're twins," Georgia and Joel declared to the world, and
paraded their similarities. A crooked front tooth that
she'd had capped and that he'd had knocked out in a
motorbike accident and replaced. Both had blond hair,
although hers was highlighted. Indeed rumors circulated
that perhaps his was too. Within weeks they'd moved in together and filled their
flat with a succession of peculiar things, all of which
assumed a stylish luster the minute they became theirs.
But no matter how much the others tried to emulate their
panache it was never quite the same. The liver-purple
paint which Georgia and Joel used to such stylish effect
in one room in their south-facing flat never survived the
transition to anyone else's wall. Especially not Tim and
Alice's northeast-facing living room. "I can't bear it,"
Tim eventually admitted. "I feel as though I'm watching
telly inside an internal organ." Georgia and Joel spent money fast. "Hey, we're skint,"
they often laughed -- then immediately went to the River
Café. On receiving a particularly onerous credit card
bill, they tightened their belts by buying champagne.
Attached to them, debt seemed desirable, stylish, alive. "Money is there to be spent," they claimed and their
friends cautiously followed suit, then tried to stop
themselves waking in the night in overdrawn terror. After four years together, Georgia and Joel surprised
everyone by getting married. Not just any old marriage --
but you could have guessed that. Instead they went to Las
Vegas; hopped on a plane on Friday night after work, were
married on Saturday by an Elvis lookalike, were back for
work on Monday. The following weekend they rented a
baroque room in Charterhouse Square, draped it in white
muslin and had the mother of all parties. Proving they
were ahead of their time by serving old-fashioned martinis
which made a comeback among the Liggerati a couple of
years later. Close friends Melissa and Tom, who were having a
beachfront wedding ceremony in Bali a month later, went
into a trough of depression and wanted to call the whole
thing off. Two years later, Georgia once more reinvented the right
lifestyle choices by announcing her pregnancy. Stretch
marks and sleepless nights acquired an immediate cachet.
They called their little girl Queenie -- a dusty, musty
old ladies' name, but on their child it was quirky and
charming. In the following months, various acquaintances
named their newborn girls Flossie, Vera and Beryl. Georgia
regained her figure within weeks of having the baby. Even
worse, she claimed not to have worked out. Then one day, pension brochures appeared on their circular
walnut coffee table. "Pensions?" asked Neil, hardly believing his luck. Joel
had finally cocked up and done something deserving of
scorn. "Got to look to the future," Joel agreed. "You know it
makes sense." "Pensions," Neil repeated, throwing his head back in an
elaborate gesture of amusement. "You sad bastard." "You want to be old and skint?" Joel said with a smile
that was very obviously not a cruel one. "Up to you,
mate." And Neil wanted to hang himself. They were always moving
the bloody goalposts. But most of all it was Georgia and Joel's relationship
that no one could ever top. They'd been born on the same
day, in the same year, within four miles of each other;
they were so obviously meant to be together that everyone
else's felt like a making-do, a shoddy compromise. Georgia
and Joel fitted together, like two halves of a heart;
symbiosis was the name of the game and their devotion was
lavish and public. Every year one or other of them had
a "surprise" birthday party, "for my twin." Their friends were tightly bound to them by a snarl of
admiration, hidden envy and the hope of some of their good
fortune rubbing off. But as they moved forward into the late nineties, perhaps
Georgia and Joel's mutual regard wasn't as frantically
fervent as once it had been. Perhaps tempers were slightly
shorter than previously. Maybe Joel got on Georgia's
nerves once in a while. Perhaps Joel wondered if Georgia
wasn't quite as golden as she'd once been. Not that they'd
ever consider splitting up. Oh, no. Splitting up was for
other people, those unfortunate types who hadn't found
their soulmate. And other people did split up. Tom left Melissa for
Melissa's brother in a scandal that had everyone on the
phone to each other in gleeful horror for some weeks, all
vying to be the biggest bearer of bad news, outdoing each
other in the horrific details. "I hear they were shagging
each other on Tom and Melissa's honeymoon. On the
honeymoon. Can you believe it!" Vicky's husband left her.
She'd had a baby, couldn't shift the weight, became dowdy
and different. Unrecognizable. She'd once been a
contender. Of course, never exactly as lambent or lustrous
as Georgia, but now she'd slipped and slipped behind, well
out of the race, limping and abandoned. Georgia was a loyal and ever-present friend in their times
of woe. Tirelessly she visited, urged trips to
hairdressers, took care of children, consoled, cajoled.
She even let Vicky and Melissa say things like, "You think
that your relationship is the one that won't hit the wall,
but it can happen to anyone." Georgia always let them get
away with it, bestowing a kindly smile and resisting the
urge to say, "Joel and I are different." People gave up watching and waiting for Georgia and Joel
to unravel. The times people said, "Don't you think
Georgia and Joel are just too devoted? Methinks they do
protest too much," became fewer and fewer. People ran out
of energy and patience waiting for the roof to fall in on
the soulmates and their "special relationship." But the thing about a soulmate is that it can be a burden
as well as a blessing, Joel found himself thinking one
day. You're stuck with them. Other people can ditch their
partner and forage with impunity in the outside world,
looking for a fresh partner, where everyone is a
possibility. Having a spiritual twin fairly narrows your
choice. And Georgia found herself emotionally itchy. What would
have happened if she hadn't met Joel? Who would she be
with now? And she experienced an odd yearning, she missed
the men she hadn't loved, the boyfriends she'd never met. So acute was this unexpected sadness that she tried to
speak to Katie about it. "Sounds like you're bored with Joel," Katie offered. "Do
you still love him?" "Love him?" Georgia exclaimed, with knee-jerk
alacrity. "He's my soulmate!" Then one night Joel got very, very drunk and admitted to
Chris, "I fancy other women. I want to sleep with every
girl I see. The curiosity is too much." "That's normal," Chris said in surprise. "Have an affair." "It's not normal. This is me and Georgia." "Sounds like you're in trouble, mate." "Not me and Georgia." They believed their own publicity and, in time-honored
tradition, attempted to paper over the cracks by having
another baby. A boy this time. They called him Clement. "That's an old man's name!" "We're being ironic!" But their laughs lacked conviction
and when they painted Clement's room silver no one copied
them. On they labored, shoulder to shoulder. While all around
them people danced the dance of love: merging and
splitting, blending anew with fresh partners, sundering,
twirling and cleaving joyously to the next one. And
shackled to their soulmate, Georgia and Joel watched with
naked envy. It was only when Georgia began questioning her mother on
the circumstances of her birth that she realized how
ridiculous the situation had become. "What time of the day
was I born, Mum?" she asked, as Clement bellowed on her
lap. "Eleven." "Could it have been a little bit later?" Georgia heard
herself ask. "Like gone midnight?" So that it was actually
the following day, she thought but didn't articulate. "It was eleven in the morning, nowhere near midnight."
Three weeks later when Joel and Georgia split up it caused
a furor. Everyone declared themselves horrified, that if
the golden couple couldn't hack it, what hope was there
for the rest of them? But there wasn't one among them who
couldn't help a frisson of long-awaited glee. Now Mr. and
Mrs. Perfect would see what it was like for the rest of
them. The "press release" insisted that they were still friends,
that it was all very adult and civilized, that they were
in complete agreement over finances and custody of the
children. Sure, everyone scorned. Sure. But, disconcertingly, Georgia wouldn't join in an "all men
are bastards" conversation with Vicky, Katie and Melissa.
Not even when Joel began going out with a short, plump
dental nurse called Helen. "Tim has met her," Alice consoled. "He says she's not a
patch on you." "Oh don't," Georgia objected. "I think she's really
sweet." "You've met her?!" And when Georgia began seeing a graphic designer called
Conor, Tim assured Joel that Alice said he was a prat. "Nah," Joel protested. "He's a good bloke. We're all going
on holiday with the kids at Easter." "Who are?" Tim wanted to pass out. "Me and Helen, Georgia and Conor." Everyone declared that it was wonderful they were being so
mature about the split and only the certain knowledge that
the holiday would be a bloodbath consoled them. Itching to
find out just how bad it was, Tim rang Joel the day he got
back. Then Tim, Alice, Katie, Vicky, Melissa, Chris, Neil
and Peter gathered in the pub, ostensibly for a casual
drink. Conversation glanced off the usual subjects --
house prices, hair straighteners, Pamela Anderson's
breasts -- until no one could bear any more. Peter was the
first to crack, the words were out of his mouth before he
could stop them. "So was it a disaster?" he begged Tim. "Did they try to
kill each other?" Watched by seven avid pairs of eyes, Tim shook his head
sorrowfully. "They got on like a house on fire. They're
going to do it again in July." A murmur of Isn't that marvelous? started up. But Vicky couldn't take any more. In despair, she put her
face in her hands. "How do they do it?" she whispered,
echoing everyone's sentiments. "How do they bloody well do
it!"
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