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A gay psychologist demonstrates how to heal the trauma of being a gay man in an uncompromisingly straight world
Da Capo Press
May 2005
212 pages
ISBN: 0738210110
Hardcover
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Non-Fiction Memoir
Whether he is flamboyantly fashionable with a body chiseled
to perfection or chronically dissatisfied and without
lasting relationships, the stereotypical extremes of male
gay behavior are fueled by the same dark force: shame. The
inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight man's
world, the experience of shame in childhood and adolescence
sends a boy the message that he is other and that he is
worthless. To avoid feeling shameful later in life-and even
after he is no longer explicitly shamed by his sexuality-a
gay man will quietly rage against the memory of this
message and strive to excel dramatically to prove it wrong.
The stereotypical manifestation of this inner battle is a
gay man's success in the arts, fashion and in his body
image; as with all the other forms of beauty, creativity
and success, he is hiding behind the facades he creates. Building on the collected psychological research and the
author's own experience of the past twenty years, The
Velvet Rage will help gay men profoundly understand their
dichotomous extremes. Explaining the psychological
underpinnings of the forces at play in their lives, it also
offers helpful strategies to stop the insidious cycle of
avoidance and rage. Empowering and validating, The Velvet
Rage will influence the public discourse on gay culture and
positively change the lives of gay men who read it.
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