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How We Can Help Our Teenagers Grow Up Before They Grow Old
Ballantine Books
October 2009
On Sale: October 20, 2009
272 pages
ISBN: 0345507894
EAN: 9780345507891
Hardcover
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Self-Help
Do you sometimes wonder how your teen is ever going to survive on his or her own as an adult? Does your high school junior seem oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead? Does your academically successful nineteen-year-old still expect you to βjust take care ofβ even the most basic life tasks?
Welcome to the stunted world of the Endless Adolescence. Recent studies show that todayβs teenagers are more anxious and stressed and less independent and motivated to grow up than ever before. Twenty-five is rapidly becoming the new fifteen for a generation suffering from a debilitating βfailure to launch.β Now two preeminent clinical psychologists tell us why and chart a groundbreaking escape route for teens and parents.
Drawing on their extensive research and practice, Joseph Allen and Claudia Worrell Allen show that most teen problems are not hardwired into teensβ brains and hormones but grow instead out of a βNurture Paradoxβ in which our efforts to support our teens by shielding them from the growth-spurring rigors and rewards of the adult world have backfired badly. With compelling examples and practical and profound suggestions, the authors outline a novel approach for producing dramatic leaps forward in teen maturity, including
β’ Turn Consumers into Contributors Help teens experience adult maturityβits bumps and its joysβthrough the right kind of employment or volunteer activity.
β’ Feed Them with Feedback Let teens see and hear how the larger world perceives them. Shielding them from criticismβconstructive or otherwiseβwill only leave them unequipped to deal with it when they get to the βreal world.β
β’ Provide Adult Connections Even though theyβll deny it, teens desperately need to interact with adults (including parents) on a more mature levelβand such interaction will help them blossom!
β’ Stretch the Teen Envelope Do fewer things for teens that they can do for themselves, and give them tasks just beyond their current level of competence and comfort.
Todayβs teens are starved for the lost fundamentals they need to really grow: adult connections and the adult rewards of autonomy, competence, and mastery. Restoring these will help them unlearn their adolescent helplessness and grow into adults who can make youβand themselvesβproud.
 Media BuzzEarly Show - January 29, 2010
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