When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows
for the ultimate Bridezilla, "I do's" soon become "I wish I
hadn't's"--and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes
for Jaine. . .
Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills,
but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The
fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis,
uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon
be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate
from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to
evoke Romeo and Juliet. . .except without the "downer" of an
ending.
Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti
as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand
the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from
Hell. Patti's managed to rack up an amazingly long list of
enemies in a short time, not the least of whom include her
prospective mother-in-law, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Patti's
stolen soon-to-be groom, and just about everyone involved in
the wedding preparations. So it isn't a complete surprise
when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her
balcony scene.
The loosened bolts that brought down the bride were clearly
an act of sabotage--what's not so obvious is whom, among
Patti's numerous haters, committed this murder most foul.
Was it the caterer she threatened to ruin? The bridesmaid
tossed out of the wedding party for being too chubby?
Jaine's determined to learn the truth--if only to end the
hideous walk down memory lane kicked off by her association
with Patti.
Between fending off advances from the nerd of her high
school nightmares and figuring out ways to stop Prozac the
cat from corrupting the victim's pet Poodle, Jaine's
involvement in this case keeps veering between comedy and
tragedy. That is, until another body is discovered--and the
killer starts laying plot for a final act--starring Jaine. . .
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