The Top 5 Ways NOT to Celebrate your 16th Birthday:
1. Drive your mother's boyfriend's sheriff car into the river. 2. Accuse the team quarterback of setting the school on fire. 3. Tell the League of Liberty that superpowers are so yesterday. 4. Freak completely when your boyfriend tries for 2nd base. 5. Explode your sadistic orthodontist's drill -- on purpose.
Blowing out the candles is the least of Jessie's worries...