Yeah, I said it. I said the thing no father is supposed to say about their children, and I'll say it again because I miss my wife.
Serena's checked out and now resides in 'yes dear' robot mode, complete with a new eye twitch. Reason being, the impish elves we spawned are currently sucking the life out of her‑daily. Thanks to Gracie and Peyton, my patience is hanging by the last orange bulb on a very thin green wire. Thank God we're headed to Triple Falls. A week of Ruby's eggnog and a little change of scenery could be just what the woman I love needs to find her way back to herself‑and to me.
But the closer we get to packing up, the shorter my fuse becomes . . . and the more I'm starting to get ideas of taking drastic measures. And by drastic, I mean our little goblins won't be the only ones making Rudolph's naughty list. I've had enough. I'm not giving in this time. No amount of alligator tears or fake apologies are going to cut it.
Ironically, the more I man up and take charge, the more Serena and I are starting to reminisce about the good old days, which is quickly adding up to some heated nights. Come hell or high water, this Christmas, our kids are going to learn to appreciate the parents they've got because I'm getting my girl back . . . even if the two little hellions we created have to pay to bring her back to me‑little f*ckers.
The Sleight Before Christmas is packed with adult shenanigans, laugh‑out‑loud outrageous content, colorful language, adults behaving badly, as well as hefty doses of spice.
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