Sean Beaudoin

80% of the letters in Sean Beaudoin’s name are vowels. In ASCII binary code, his name is 01010011 01100101 01100001 01101110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01100001 01110101 01100100 01101111 01101001 01101110 Backwards, it’s Naes Nioduaeb. In Pig Latin, it’s Eansay Eaudoinbay. Which is helpful, since no one can pronounce it with the legal spelling, either. Sean Beaudoin has used his B.A. in film/photography as a springboard into the following jobs: construction laborer, circus roustabout, busboy, used book buyer, hotel desk clerk, outdoor education counselor, statue repairman (really), seller of jazz vinyl, and a nine-day stint as The World’s Worst Telemarketer. He’s had stories and articles appear in numerous publications, including; the Onion, The New Orleans Review, Glimmer Train, Narrative, The San Francisco Chronicle, The Rumpus, Opium, Barrelhouse, Redivider, Bayou, Another Chicago Magazine, Bat City Review, Swill, Instant City, Ballyhoo, Identity Theory, Heliotrope, Danger City, and Spirit—the inflight magazine of Southwest Airlines. He is also a founding editor of the killer literary website TheWeeklings.com, which is full of rogue cultural commentary and hilarious dissonance. Or is that assonance? Either way, you should totally check it out. Sean Beaudoin likes to list his publishing history in the third person, as if someone else—a pimply young assistant, for instance—were writing it for him. He loves blueberries, garlic, hot sauce, bagels, almonds, and Turkish coffee. He hates the phrase "It is what it is." When people say "It is what it is," he snaps back, in a much deeper voice than necessary, "NO, IT ISN’T!" When they look at him quizzically and say "Excuse me?", Sean yells "DON’T EVEN GO THERE, GIRLFRIEND!" He also likes old vinyl and French movies and books about unhappy people from the Fifties. He’s not particularly crazy about police procedurals, ketchup, rap-metal, Shia "The Bouf" LaBeouf, cell phones, or Escalades. Unless Cadillac wants to sign him to a highly lucrative endorsement deal, in which case he loves Escalades.