In her four centuries of existence, Gloriana St. Clair's main complaint about being one of the undead is her inability to change. More specifically, change the size of her back-end. Blessed with healthy curves, which her creator/lover Jeremiah Campbell adores, Glory longs to be slim and svelte. Her voluptuousness is even more obvious when she and Israel "Ray" Caine, hot rock star, new vampire and pretend fiancée, leave Austin for Hollywood to attend the Grammy Awards.

While making the rounds at the local vampire hot spots with her friends, Glory is introduced to local legend, diet guru Ian MacDonald. Not only has Ian discovered a short-term weight-loss cure for vampires, he's working on something that will allow them to remain awake during daylight hours, all if the price is right. There's one small problem -- the long-running feud between Clan Campbell and Clan MacDonald. When Glory's lover discovers the identity of her diet benefactor, it is battle on, and Glory sees her plan to get her into the Grammy dress fading fast.

REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS by Gerry Bartlett is the fifth in the Real Vampire series and is laugh-out-loud fun. Glory is besieged by insecurities and her coping with weighty issues are typical of many women. All her old friends from earlier stories make an appearance, including Jeremiah's parents, Angus and Mag, and my personal favorite, Labradoodle bodyguard Valdez. Jeremiah and Glory's romance is threatened by Ray's attempts to deepen his relationship with her, and the reader is kept guessing about MacDonald's intentions. This is the story that sets up several interesting prospects for future Glory adventures. REAL VAMPIRES HATE THEIR THIGHS has a reserved spot on my keeper shelf!