Excerpt of Anissa's Redemption by Zack Love

"I love your perceptiveness. It makes me worry less about the rest of your performance in my class."

"Why would you worry about it, after my midterm?" I could feel a confident smirk on my face.

"Well, becoming romantically involved with you becomes a lot riskier if there's any controversy surrounding your final grade in the class. But if you receive and legitimately deserve an A, then there's no problem."

I looked confidently into his eyes and declared with a playful smile, "Well, as you just pointed out, there's no trust without risk. But I'll do my best to ensure that my problem sets and final exam leave you with no choice but to give me an A, so that there can be no issues for you around my grade."

He chuckled and replied, "Thanks for looking out for me too in this relationship."

I took another sip of my wine glass, in preparation for the potentially awkward question that I now had to ask. "So, why do you think I don't trust you?"

"Because of certain things you've told me."

"About what?" I asked, hoping that he was thinking of something where I actually was truthful with him but he had just misread me. My shoulders moved towards each other a little, as if that could help to hide the private facts that this conversation might expose.

"About what happened to you and your family in Syria," he replied, looking into my eyes for a moment, and then out at the view, to minimize the discomfort he must have sensed in me.

I exhaled heavily, and there was a moment of silence as I gathered my thoughts. "There are some things about my time in Syria that only my therapist knows. And there are a few details that even she doesn't know. It's something I'm still working through."

He put his hand on mine. "It's OK, Anissa. I'm not trying to pressure you into sharing things that you're still dealing with privately." His fingers began to caress my palm and wrist. "But I would like to earn more of your trust."

I felt nervous about potentially exposing myself more, but excited at the possibility of getting even closer to Julien. "And I would like to become more trusting of you."

He smiled playfully and looked straight into my eyes. "So can you trust me enough to let me help you trust me more?"

"I'll try," I replied with a simper.

After dessert, I discovered the enthralling — and sometimes scary — trust-building techniques that Julien wanted us to try. The easiest — and most sensual — one involved trusting him while I was seated and blindfolded, as he did various things that produced small pleasures or pains, and in an unpredictable sequence that drove me crazy, as I tried to guess what might come next. As I sat in the chair, without the benefit of sight, the very first thing he did was to feed me some delicious raspberries. Then, he asked me to outstretch my hand, and he put what felt like some flower petals in it. After that, a slight warmth spread below the back of my hand, but — within about ten seconds — became too hot for me to keep still. He had placed a candle far under my hand holding the petals, while gradually moving the flame closer until I moved my hand away from the intensifying heat. Then he fed me some delicious chocolates. And just as I was lost in the heavenly taste still in my mouth, he pushed the hem of my skirt up and I felt hot wax from the candle drop onto my upper thigh, making me sink my teeth into my lower lip. He asked me to stick my tongue out, and — as I was bracing for him to put some kind of sadistic clamp on it — he sprayed deliciously fluffy and sweet whipped cream onto it. I must admit, this game was surprisingly fun and even arousing at times.

The next confidence-building exercise actually seemed much easier after the blindfolded one, and I had actually read about it before. Julien had me simply stretch my arms out to the side and fall straight backwards, trusting him to catch me before I hit the ground. The first three times, he caught me well before my body hit a forty-five degree angle. But the last three times he progressively tested the limits of my trust a little bit more each time, such that the very last time, he caught me only as I was just about to hit the floor.