Excerpt of The Syrian Virgin by Zack Love

"What's this?" he asked, his face a bit concerned, as his
index finger traced the scar that had been hidden by my
panties.

"That was from Syria," I answered timidly, suddenly
feeling more exposed. "I don't want to… Can we not talk
about it? I'm… I'm still not ready."

"I'm sorry," he said gently, moving his hand away from
that area.

"No, don't worry about it – it's just something that I'm…
that I'm still dealing with."

"I totally understand. We don't have to get any more
naked than this," he reassured me with kindness in his
eyes. "I just got a little carried away, I think."

He reached for a shirt nearby, and he suddenly felt
farther away.

"No, but I want to. I want to do this with you," I
replied, as if this were suddenly the last chance.

"Oh, believe me, I want to do this with you even more,"
he said gently, as he put his shirt back on.

I covered myself with a nearby sheet. "But…?" I asked,
waiting to hear the explanation.

"But I'm not sure it's a good idea. At least not right
now."

"Because I'm a virgin?" My throat tightened a little in
dread, but I had to know the truth.

"Well, that's certainly a big part of it," he admitted,
getting a bit closer and sitting next to me. He genuinely
searched my eyes in preparation for a frank chat.

"I had a feeling this was going to be an issue
eventually," I replied, looking away with a twinge of
embarrassment and disappointment.

"Well, don't feel bad about it," he reassured me, putting
his hand on my shoulder. "There's nothing to be ashamed
of here."

"No, I know. I'm actually kind of proud of it, in a funny
way."

"And you should be," Michael affirmed.

"But in one respect, I sort of wish I had done it
already."

"Why?"

"So that it wouldn't be such a big deal for us to do it."

"Well, that's OK. There's no rush here," he noted,
caressing my shoulder gently.

"I know. But sometimes it seems like such a big deal that
it will never actually happen," I confessed with a self-
deprecating snicker.

"It'll happen when the time is right," he said, running
his fingers gently through my hair.

"But it seems like such a major step – especially because
of our culture – that I'll always wonder whether the time
is right."

"Well, it is a major step. And that's why we should both
be really ready and confident that this is right for both
of us and that we're going to end up together."

The blanket was still covering me, but I couldn't help
crossing my arms over my chest. "I guess."

"If anything, the fact that I'm not rushing to bed you
now should reassure you that I actually care about you.
And if I'm going to be your first, then I want us to make
love when we're both truly ready – and not just when
we're feeling passionately explosive."

"Right."

"And I also don't want us to have sex for the very first
time, just before I'm leaving on a dangerous trip to
Syria. If I am the one who takes your virginity, then you
deserve to be sure that you're actually going to see me
again."

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting up in alarm. "What
are you saying?"

Michael cupped my cheek. "Inas, I'm flying to Syria
tomorrow, and I – "

"What do you mean? How long have you known this?"

"I got a call this morning," he admitted, dropping his
hand and turning his gaze away from mine. "Things are
very bad and I'm needed on the ground there. And I have
to bring my people there some things."

Whatever pain I thought was tightening my chest until
that moment suddenly felt like it was strangling me.
"What do you mean?"

"I'm bringing some of the local activists some cash,
about ten small tablets with data plans, some solar
chargers for areas without electricity, and some other
things to facilitate communications with the local
community leaders and activists."

"Why now?" I asked, tilting his chin so that he would
have to look me in the eye when he explained. "Didn't you
tell me last week that you're supposed to defend your
dissertation in about a month?"

"Yes, but the situation keeps getting worse and I need to
do what I can…"

As I looked at the smoldering warrior-leader in front of
me, I marveled in awe at the risks that he was taking,
and the sacrifices he was making to help people to whom
he wasn't even related.