Excerpt of Silently Broken by Maegan Abel

I hadn’t realized Zane was finished until he set the cup in front of me. He followed my line of sight as I looked away from the chair he’d been sitting in about six months ago when he held me as I cried. I closed my eyes, pushing that thought away. That girl was broken. She was damaged. That wasn’t me. Not anymore.

“Lili,” he whispered, and I cringed.

“Don’t call me that,” I said automatically, letting out my breath in a rush as the realization of what I’d said struck me. I opened my eyes, grabbing the mug. “Sorry.”

“What do you mean?” he finally asked as I sipped on the hot liquid slowly. It burned on the way down but I ignored it, needing the excuse not to answer that question.

“Just an automatic response. I’m fine,” I answered, blowing off what was happening.

“Would you stop fucking saying that?” he snapped, causing me to jump a little. Startled, I kept my eyes on the mug but neither of us moved as we waited for the other to take the next step. Finally, I lowered the glass to the table.

“What would you like me to say? Hmm?” I knew I should stop, walk away now and not make this worse, but I no longer cared. “You want to know why I told you not to call me that?” I looked up, meeting his eyes.

“Because I’m. Not. Fucking. Her. I’m not that girl.”

“Yes, you are—” he started, but I cut in before he could finish.

“No.” I laughed, but the sound was hollow. “No, I’m not. You see this face and you think I’m her, but I’m not. You’d be closer to the truth if you called Kaitlyn by that name.”

He flinched back from the name and I waivered, the part of me still able to feel guilt worming her way back in as I watched his expression.