Rand Jennings enjoyed killing his boss, Marcy Edelstein.
He enjoyed it so much, he sometimes killed her twice in
a single meeting.
They weren't hurried affairs, either. Sure, he once
capped her twice in the back of the head,
Mafia–execution–style, before walking away.
Usually, though, he took his time, pairing up cinematic
murders with Marcy's too–thin, too–caffeinated,
too–Botoxed body. In fact, he'd researched whether he
could kill her with Botox. Unfortunately, as apt as that
would be, it took too much of the toxin to be practical.
So Rand settled for the classics. He shot her and let
her fall into a Hollywood Hills swimming pool (Sunset
Boulevard). He stabbed her in the shower (Psycho)—an
awkward, blindly–slashing affair as he really didn't
want to see her naked. He dipped her in gold paint so her
skin smothered (Goldfinger). During one of Marcy's
particularly nasty harangues, Rand slipped up behind her and
garroted her with her own Hermès scarf (The Godfather,
modified).
"Jesus, people, wake up!" Marcy screeched. "I need
better ideas. Opposites attract this year, so we have to
cast interesting people—of course no fatties—who
the audience will understand in a very specific way."
Rand leaned sideways toward Debbie and whispered, "How
about Narcissistic Actor as a type?"
"They'd all qualify," she muttered.
Marcy glared at them. "You two are like
third–graders passing notes. Grow up! The Fishbowl
isn't going to produce itself. I've come up with the grand
theme. The least you can do is help me amplify my vision."
"C'mon, Marcy, it's reality TV," Rand said. "Let's not
lose sight of the fundamentals. Good–looking people in
bathing suits jump around during the day and backstab at
night while trying to win a million dollars. It's not hard
to figure out the themes. Greed and competition. This isn't
Hamlet."
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