Excerpt of Trading Faces by Ann Herrick

[DARCY]

Dear Diary,

I'm completely tired of being average.

Wait. No. That's not true. For me, average would be an improvement!

Don't even get me started on how unfair it is that I wound up with boring brown hair, close set eyes, a nose that is too wide, and a smile that is just a little too crooked for me to ever be beautiful/pretty/or even cute. I don't look interesting enough to qualify as exotic or mysterious. I'm completely off the social radar.

My life is so lame!

If I were prettier, people would listen to me. No, not just listen, hang on my every word. Be my adoring audience. Is this too much to ask???

If only I could wake up one day and be beautiful, just like Cybil, maybe have a nose that fits under a dime. That's all I've wanted for Christmas since I was ... well, ten. Then I could have a life as great as Cybil's.

And the thing is, now's the perfect time. I'm only three weeks into my sophomore year at John Nance Garner High (I know—who names a school after a vice president, especially one from Texas when this is Oregon, right?), so I'd have almost three years to reap the Benefits of Enviable Beauty (of which there are many, I'm convinced) while I'm still young enough to appreciate them! Maybe I could even say hi to a hot guy without choking. For sure I'd have a way better chance at getting the part of Eliza. I'd at least try out for it.

Blah, blah, blah. I have to start reading three chapters of Silas Marner. I can't believe the old guy mistook the little girl's curls for his missing gold. I'd better stop fantasizing and start reading.

Signing off,

Darcy Doane

[CYBIL]

I so need to blog. It helps me think. I hop on the computer, logging on with my secret password. Just because I have my own computer in my own room doesn't mean someone else (prime example: Tommy) couldn't snoop.

Thursday, 10:48 p.m.

I've so been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm wondering about this whole deal of being really great looking.

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to not always be the center of attention. To be more ... ordinary. You know, to just, like, be in the shadows and go about my life without everyone watching every move I make. The whole world checks out my hair, my clothes, my makeup. I mean, it might be nice to have a life without all the pressure, and to just be judged on, you know, me. Not my looks.

And then there are guys. First there's every dork and dweeb who thinks he's in love with me. They've all seen movies where the nerd wins the beautiful girl and that gives them this, you know, false hope. Then there are the jocks and assorted Socies who want to wear a beautiful girl on their arms like an accessory. How am I supposed to know if a guy likes me for me and not just because I'm so great looking? There's Devon Copperfield, who is all that and then some. I think he'll take care of this year, but being an exchange student and all, he'll be gone by June. There's my whole future to worry about.

Of course, there's Mother, who wants to recreate her life through me. The whole beauty pageant bit. Yeah, the local pageants are okay, quick and easy to win. And, I mean, I'm sure I could, like, breeze through the competition to the title of Miss Most Beautiful Teen of Oregon. I'm not sure I want to spend the next year of my life devoted to the Miss Most Beautiful Teen of America pageant. There's stuff a lot more, I don't know ... helpful I could do with my life. Maybe if I had ordinary looks Mother would drop the whole pageant business.

Maybe if I weren't so beautiful Father would want to be at home more and, you know, be a daddy to me, because he wouldn't think I already have it made in life because of my looks.

There are a few things I'd rather be doing than parading my looks before panels of judges. Besides softball, chorus and cheerleading, I really want the lead in this year's school play. I mean, I'd make a perfect Eliza. I can hit the high notes of ""I Could Have Danced All Night,"" and it would so be a challenge to play a scruffy cockney flower girl and all. I know that Jillian Kingsbury thinks she has a lock on the role, because she's a senior and all. But I'm sure once I audition, I'll have the part.

TTFN,

Cybil

COMMENTS:

Thursday, 10:51 p.m., Wildflower

Cybil, you are, like, so deep to want to be judged on more than just your looks.

Thursday, 11:08 p.m., Anonymous

No way u cud b anything but bew t ful. I remain 4ever ur devoted luv slave. ILY

Thursday, 11:14 p.m., dontworrybehappy

Oooo, trés interesting post. You are sooo right. Props for your attitude, girl. A person should totally look deep inside another person, not just on the surface.