There are mice.
Lots of mice. Running all over my room. Letting out crying
sounds that grate on my ears. They crawl on my feet. My
legs. I feel them on my arms. Soft things with toenails like
blunt needles.
โMomma?โ I say. Sheโs dressed in a long nightgown. Her
fingernails are sharp like the tops of just-opened cans. โWe
gotta get rid of the mice. We gotta call an exterminator.โ I
hand her an old-fashioned phone.
โYouโre right, Lacey,โ Momma says. But instead, she cuts at
her face with her nails. Deep wounds open up, split wide,
and blood, dark blood like ink, makes paths down her face to
the floor. She cries.
โStop that,โ I say. โStop it now.โ
But Momma doesnโt listen. Just cuts and cries.
*ย ย ย *ย ย ย *
I AWOKE with a start, my heart thudding in my neck. My whole
body felt like Iโd been dunked in an ice bath.
โOnly a dream,โ I said to myself, then glanced at the clock:
3:46 A.M. I started to close my eyes. The wind nudged at the
house. I could smell the magnolia tree.
Something moved in the corner.
โHello?โ I said, clutching my sheet to my chest. โSomeone here?โ
There was no answer.
The floor creaked near the closet.
โHello?โ I wanted to sit up in bed, but I couldnโt quite move.
โGranddaddy?โ My voice came out small. It felt like all the
hair on my head was trying to get away from me.
โLacey?โ
Fear flashed a white streak behind my eyes. I gave a jump.
โGranddaddy?โ
โLacey?โ
Momma! It was Momma! Crying out a second time from her room.
Her voice sad and scared and weepy. So the crying part of my
dream was real. And maybe there was a mouse near the closet.
A mouse coming from my dreams, alive and real? That was
ridiculous. Of course that couldnโt be.
โAre you okay?โ I called to Momma. I kept my eyes toward the
closet. Straining to see. Just darkness. No movement now.
The night breeze pushed into my room. The smell of the
ocean. So peaceful. No more sounds from the closet. Good.
Good. I took in a breath to push my fear away.
โGranddaddy,โ I said, hoping he wasnโt close enough to hear
me, โthis isย
myย room.โ A girl should at
least have privacy in her bedroom. My heartbeat slowed.
โLacey? I need you.โ
โComing.โ
Man, was I tired. My eyes burned. But I threw my feet over
the side of the bed. As soon as I touched the cool wood of
the floor, fear surged in behind me. Run! I hurried toward
my motherโs room. It was like something chased me down the
hall though I knewย โฆย
Did I?โฆ nothing was there.
A few more stepsย
Go, go!ย and I made it.
โWhat is it, Momma?โ I leaned against the doorjamb. Her
nightlight showed the pattern of flowers on the carpet.
โIโm scared.โ Her voice was shaky. Did she have a nightmare,
too? โGranddaddy keeps bothering me. Has he been coming into
your room? Iโve told him not to. To let you sleep because of
tomorrow.โ Mommaโs voice wasnโt even as loud as a whisper. I
had to walk to the side of her bed to hear. I could see her
slender form under the blankets. โAnd I told
himย
Iย have to sleep too, because of
you-know-what.โ
I nodded but Momma didnโt look my way. Just gripped the
sheet and blanket in her fingers and spoke like maybe I was
glued to the ceiling.
โBut he wonโt let me alone,โ Momma said. She glanced in my
direction, then back again. โIf you get in bed with me,
Lacey, I think heโll stay outta here for a while.โ
Hadย he been to my room? For a moment I felt
something behind me. Like someone watched. The feeling was
muddy, heavy. Almost on my shoulder. Almost pushing me
toward Momma. I refused to look back. Not that I could have
seen much of anything. The darkness was fat, almost
difficult, in the hall.
โWill you sleep here?โ
โAll right, Momma.โ Forcing myself not to
hurry,ย
Quick, move it!, I took my time.
Granddaddy might be the boss of this house, but I wasnโt
going to let him know he scared me, too. I climbed in next
to my mother and snuggled close. โTurn on your side and Iโll
scrooch up to your back.โ
โOkay, Lacey. Okay.โ
Momma was so thin I could feel her ribs. Could have counted
them. I could smell her sweat, too. โYou go on to sleep,โ I
said. โIf Granddaddy comes back in, Iโll send him out.โ
Donโt let him come in here.ย And
then,ย
You know he wonโt.ย And
another,ย
He could.
โThank you, baby,โ Momma said. โYou watch for him awhile.
But wake me if he tries anything.โ
I yawned big. โI will.โ Here I was, all of fourteen years
old, and I was crawling into bed with my momma.
You big scaredy cat,ย I thought
. Donโt let him
come in here. You know he wonโt. He canโt. Not possible.
With Momma so near, my fears faded some. My heart slowed.
And at last I was asleep.