Chapter One
Nobody Doesn't Like Jana Lee
"You want me to do what?" Jana Lee Tompkins Stivers bolted
upright in her spa bed and stared at her twin. She quickly
pulled up the sheet to cover her naked breasts. Jillian's
insane request just proved that her sister had truly
cracked up.
"Jana Lee, I know I don't deserve to ask anything of you,
but I'm completely burned out. I can't bear facing people
in my office again. I -- I stood in the lunchroom
screaming like a crazy woman at the vending machine
because I got Mounds instead of an Almond Joy. I kept
hitting the damn thing with my fists. I said terrible
things to that machine. They had to detach me from it."
Jillian's voice cracked.
"You should have called me sooner." Jana Lee thumped back
down on the spa bed. Leave it to her sister to take
whatever peace their life had and twist it until it
couldn't ever be put back into its former shape.
"I'm just not ready to go back. A week here hasn't even
made a dent in my stress levels. They won't give me
another day off from work. I can't stay in Serenity Spa
forever. Just let me have an extra week away from work.
I've never asked you for this big of a favor, ever. And
it's not long. I mean, after a week at that old boring
Seabridge beach house you call home I'll have my sanity
back and go politely back to my office."
Jana Lee shook her head. "I could never pull it off. We
can't play that old switch trick on people anymore,
Jillian. This isn't like the Mike and Todd boyfriend swap
for the ninth-grade Sadie Hawkins dance. It's not just two
dumb boys; it's your job we're talking about. Our lives
are too complicated now."
Jana Lee didn't mention the other switch they'd done. The
switch that had created years of resentment between her
and her sister; the switch that had ended her engagement
to Elliot the idiot.
But it was obvious that her sister really was on the edge
of some sort of breakdown. It was noticeable. Jana Lee had
only seen Jillian cry three times before in their entire
lives. And right now she definitely heard her sister
suppressing a sob.
The minute she'd gotten the call from Serenity Spa and
heard Jillian begging her to join her for a long weekend
at this place, she'd known something was up. Either
Jillian was trying to mend fences between them, or she had
personal reasons. Turns out it was a little of both.
"My job is like four dumb boys instead. Mike and Todd were
harder than this would ever be! You did an amazing job of
being me that night, remember? We can do it again. Don't
make me pull a Bette Davis Dead Ringer thing on you."
"I'd rather be drowned by Bette Davis than take your place
at Pitman Toys. I'm the one who'd have to do all the
lying! You won't have to fool anyone. I'd never allow you
to fib to my daughter, and Monty Python dog will see right
through you. Your perfume is more expensive than mine.
He'll want canned dog food on a regular basis the minute
you show up," Jana Lee said.
"I can play you at the PTA or something. Wouldn't you love
to skip out on some responsibilities for a while? Besides,
we are actresses." Jillian's voice sounded so unusually
desperate.
"We are not actresses." Jana turned her head toward
Jillian to be sure she heard her clearly. "Being the
Little Princesses on the Harvey the Dragon Show when we
were kids does not count, dear. I can't believe you didn't
call me and tell me how stressed out you've been. What is
that about? I'm only your twin sister, for crying out
loud. I thought we'd made some progress in putting things
behind us.
"I knew something was wrong back in November at
Thanksgiving, but you told me it wasn't. Don't lie to me
about things like this anymore." Jana Lee sat up stiffly
but obediently as the spa assistant wrapped the last strip
of herbal-soaked linen around her boobs. She felt . . .
exposed . . . and somewhat mummified. "I feel like King
Tut," she sighed.
"That makes me sushi." Jillian was sushi. Jillian's
personal spa guy had painted her with green goo and
wrapped seaweed over every part of her body except her
face.
"I smell way better than you do," Jana Lee said.
"True, but I'm exfoliating. I just need a little pickled
ginger on the side and I'll be done," Jillian
replied. "All this food talk is making me hungry."
"Try not to think about it." Jana Lee tried to relax while
Sumiko, her personal spa attendant, smeared mud on her
face with a soft brush. She peeked over at her sister's
spa bed to see whether she was doing better at relaxing
while her guy piled on the mud. Jillian didn't look very
relaxed. She looked as tight as a violin string, and they
weren't done with this subject, that was for sure.
"Please, Jana Lee, I need you to help me out. I've been
gone a week already. If I don't go back, or if someone
doesn't go back and be me, I'll get fired for sure.
There's this overzealous junior accounting executive witch
just itching for my job. I used my extra vacation time for
this year going to the Bahamas with that dolt I broke up
with. At least I got a tan out of it."
"You'll have to tell me more about the Ron thing. I
thought he broke up with you?"
"It was mutual," Jillian said flatly.
Jana Lee remembered distinctly that that wasn't the
case. "I'm going to lie here and think about your request,
so stop yammering." She tried to let the tension
flow . . .
Continues...
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